So in one of my manic high phases I suggested the divorce to my wife (there's a thread about it) because I felt she could do better, and didn't want to keep hurting her. (In the back of my mind like always there was something saying- NO! not yet! Wait til you start treatment!!!) But I didn't. Then I tried to change her mind and she says she just can't keep doing the whole rollercoaster thing.
All the while I've been a guinea pig for drugs. In 4 weeks I've had abilify, Welbutrin, seroquel, depakote, lyrica. I mean, JESUS. Fucking enough already, eh?
So now she says I need to move out so we can work on each other individually. So now I'm going back home to my parents house and thats gonna be fucking hell. Then she said after 3 months of alone time (while still being friends and seeing eachother now and then) she'd give ONE session of marriage counselling a shot. And see how she feels then.
Mind you- I cheated on her, lied to her, ignored her, abused drugs- all within the last year when my mania was at an all time fucking HIGH.
I've given up drugs. YAY me. I've given up alcohol, all the other shit. Getting a reg. nights sleep. Pretty much given up World of Warcraft (destroyer of marriages).
But man, this is all just too much. I almost want to just be committed into a mental ward for a while until I stabilize. I feel too all over the place. I have no energy, high anxiety, dry mouth, can't eat. It's like, FUUUCK!
Oh, and still no goddamn job.
Really, what good am I?
All the while I've been a guinea pig for drugs. In 4 weeks I've had abilify, Welbutrin, seroquel, depakote, lyrica. I mean, JESUS. Fucking enough already, eh?
So now she says I need to move out so we can work on each other individually. So now I'm going back home to my parents house and thats gonna be fucking hell. Then she said after 3 months of alone time (while still being friends and seeing eachother now and then) she'd give ONE session of marriage counselling a shot. And see how she feels then.
Mind you- I cheated on her, lied to her, ignored her, abused drugs- all within the last year when my mania was at an all time fucking HIGH.
I've given up drugs. YAY me. I've given up alcohol, all the other shit. Getting a reg. nights sleep. Pretty much given up World of Warcraft (destroyer of marriages).
But man, this is all just too much. I almost want to just be committed into a mental ward for a while until I stabilize. I feel too all over the place. I have no energy, high anxiety, dry mouth, can't eat. It's like, FUUUCK!
Oh, and still no goddamn job.
Really, what good am I?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I know meds are different for everyone, but I also know how frustrating it is to go through so many different meds, and this one has so few negative effects that I would recommend it to anyone.
also, is there any reason NOT to do inpatient therapy? if you feel like it would be most effective, than why not do it?
edit: I also took Depakote for three years.