So I got this thing where it was questions about what girls want to do on first dates and there were these bullshit sunshine and flowers nonsense. I guess that stuff's alright if you're looking to get married, but most guys just want a piece of ass.
What do women like to do on their first dates? (Explain)
Women don't care what you do on your first date. She decides before she even goes out with you whether or not she's going to have sex with you. If the answer is yes, you have to be a real dumbass to screw things up. If the answer is no, it doesn't matter what you do. No amount of woo-ing or fancy dinners is gonna change this girl's mind. Your only recourse at that point is to get her piss drunk.
Do you prefer an informal or formal date? (Explain)
Now this here is a trick question. "Informal" means that you're cheap and "Formal" means that you are a meal ticket. Don't be fooled into dropping a bill on a first date. Take her to Jay Burger and see if she can put away a double chili cheese burger. That way, you know right off the bat if she's a keeper and you're only out about $8.
Kissing on the first date? Acceptable or Not (Explain)
I've been watching that Blind Date show on the teevee and guys are retarded. You know whether or not that girl wants to make out, but time after time you see the guy out with the chick that's all over him and he hesitates and the guy out with the chick that wants nothing to do with him and he's relentless. All i can say here is: don't be an idiot. "Know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em." It's just that simple. If things are going well and you don't make that move, this chick is going to think you're a pussy. I think it was Swingers where Vince Vaughn said it: "Don't be like the guy in the PG-13 movie that everyone *really* hopes will make it happen. Be like the guy in the rated R movie that you're not quite sure if you like yet."
What are the Do's and Don'ts that men should or shouldn't do on a first date? (Explain)
DON'T give her compliments. "You look beautiful," "you smell great," or "your hair smells great," etc... Girls spend a lot of time trying to look all bling for us, and once you acknowledge the fact that you really want them, you lose all control. That's all it's really about. Control. As powerful and independent women think they are, they like to be controlled. Girls like a guy to take control. Fix the flat tire, lift the heavy box, grab their hair, bend 'em over the hood of your car, whatever. Haven't you ever noticed all the girls complaining about what an asshole their boyfriend is? Yeah, he's getting laid and you're not.
DO open doors for her and all that bullshit. Once again, it puts you in control. It makes girls feel helpless, which in turn gets them ready for sex.
DON'T take her to a bar. Especially in Los Angeles. She's really not that much of a drinker... until the drinks start being "free." If she wants to go drinking that badly, then you can tell her you've got a bottle of Jameson at the house. I've spent hundreds of dollars at a bar in one night. Just on myself. There's no way in hell I'm adding another name to my bar tab.
DO make backhanded compliments. Something along the lines of "Wow, i don't remember you being so skinny," or "Are you sure you want to eat all that? You're perfect the way you are." See, now she's self conscious about something and you can exploit that. Now she wants your approval. She's gonna spend the rest of the night trying to figure out if you want her or not. It doesn't matter what you look like because that girl is so vain that she will have sex with you just to prove that you want her. Be clever so she has to think twice about whether or not your comment was complimentary. If she's confused, you're doing a good job. Confusion means that you can now steer her mood in the direction that you want it to go.
What are the Red Flags that men should avoid during a first date? (Explain)
Any talk whatsoever about family and teddy bears and crap like that. You want that conversation to turn her on. Be subtle because girls think that they're smart and that they see right through you.
If she starts talking about her days in the psych ward or about how she has six cats or if she gives any indication that she enjoyed the movie Titanic, get the hell out.
And anything else that you would like to add.....
Yeah, stop lighting girls' cigarettes with a Bic. Buy a damn Zippo; it's $15 that oozes class.
---
Yes, I know, I'm a horrible person.
---
Edited to clarify a point: This is how to get laid, not have a relationship.
What do women like to do on their first dates? (Explain)
Women don't care what you do on your first date. She decides before she even goes out with you whether or not she's going to have sex with you. If the answer is yes, you have to be a real dumbass to screw things up. If the answer is no, it doesn't matter what you do. No amount of woo-ing or fancy dinners is gonna change this girl's mind. Your only recourse at that point is to get her piss drunk.
Do you prefer an informal or formal date? (Explain)
Now this here is a trick question. "Informal" means that you're cheap and "Formal" means that you are a meal ticket. Don't be fooled into dropping a bill on a first date. Take her to Jay Burger and see if she can put away a double chili cheese burger. That way, you know right off the bat if she's a keeper and you're only out about $8.
Kissing on the first date? Acceptable or Not (Explain)
I've been watching that Blind Date show on the teevee and guys are retarded. You know whether or not that girl wants to make out, but time after time you see the guy out with the chick that's all over him and he hesitates and the guy out with the chick that wants nothing to do with him and he's relentless. All i can say here is: don't be an idiot. "Know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em." It's just that simple. If things are going well and you don't make that move, this chick is going to think you're a pussy. I think it was Swingers where Vince Vaughn said it: "Don't be like the guy in the PG-13 movie that everyone *really* hopes will make it happen. Be like the guy in the rated R movie that you're not quite sure if you like yet."
What are the Do's and Don'ts that men should or shouldn't do on a first date? (Explain)
DON'T give her compliments. "You look beautiful," "you smell great," or "your hair smells great," etc... Girls spend a lot of time trying to look all bling for us, and once you acknowledge the fact that you really want them, you lose all control. That's all it's really about. Control. As powerful and independent women think they are, they like to be controlled. Girls like a guy to take control. Fix the flat tire, lift the heavy box, grab their hair, bend 'em over the hood of your car, whatever. Haven't you ever noticed all the girls complaining about what an asshole their boyfriend is? Yeah, he's getting laid and you're not.
DO open doors for her and all that bullshit. Once again, it puts you in control. It makes girls feel helpless, which in turn gets them ready for sex.
DON'T take her to a bar. Especially in Los Angeles. She's really not that much of a drinker... until the drinks start being "free." If she wants to go drinking that badly, then you can tell her you've got a bottle of Jameson at the house. I've spent hundreds of dollars at a bar in one night. Just on myself. There's no way in hell I'm adding another name to my bar tab.
DO make backhanded compliments. Something along the lines of "Wow, i don't remember you being so skinny," or "Are you sure you want to eat all that? You're perfect the way you are." See, now she's self conscious about something and you can exploit that. Now she wants your approval. She's gonna spend the rest of the night trying to figure out if you want her or not. It doesn't matter what you look like because that girl is so vain that she will have sex with you just to prove that you want her. Be clever so she has to think twice about whether or not your comment was complimentary. If she's confused, you're doing a good job. Confusion means that you can now steer her mood in the direction that you want it to go.
What are the Red Flags that men should avoid during a first date? (Explain)
Any talk whatsoever about family and teddy bears and crap like that. You want that conversation to turn her on. Be subtle because girls think that they're smart and that they see right through you.
If she starts talking about her days in the psych ward or about how she has six cats or if she gives any indication that she enjoyed the movie Titanic, get the hell out.
And anything else that you would like to add.....
Yeah, stop lighting girls' cigarettes with a Bic. Buy a damn Zippo; it's $15 that oozes class.
---
Yes, I know, I'm a horrible person.
---
Edited to clarify a point: This is how to get laid, not have a relationship.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
sqook:
marc, this is fucking hilarious. Anyone that thinks you're not funny gets a swift kick in the nuts from me.
sweettarts:
This entry has me laughing my ass off because the sad thing is that I think the exact same way. So i guess my roommate was right...I did wear the pants in my last 2 relationships. Maybe thatswhy Im alone now. Whatever...I prefer being alone now. its hard to find a decent guy in Los Angeles annd your entry proves me right