A Line-Up Change
Not being particularly religious Amy and I wanted to have a wedding ceremony that reflected our beliefs (or lack thereof) but was both respectful and inclusive in regards to our families and friends. I suggested we talk to the interim minister of the First Unitarian Church in Louisville, Rev. Alma Crawford, because if anyone knew something about walking that line it would be a Unitarian minister.
It took several weeks just to get her on the phone and we should have listened to our guts then. When we were finally able to meet she had the day and the time wrong, though she did finally show up after numerous phone calls. The meeting went very well: she's funny, intelligent, insightful, and I believe she would have led a wonderful service. The problem was that she wasn't terribly organized and was easily distracted. Granted we weren't members of the church (technically I am, but I don't attend anymore) but she said this wasn't an issue at all and agreed to do it. We left the meeting wondering if we should be worried. This was in December.
It's now February 24th and to date we have received only three words from her letting us know she's not been hit by a bus or abducted by aliens. We planned (in the meeting with her) to get together again in order to go through the ceremony in some detail. We emailed her, called her, emailed her again, and have heard nothing save this in response to the second or third inquiry as to whether she'd received the information about the rehearsal date and time: "I'll be there!!!"
We talked to Amy's father who had offered to call a friend of his, a former Presbyterian minister, and asked him to go ahead and do so. She was interested and we met with her (we've met with her twice now in the span of two weeks!) and had an instant rapport (though our secular needs are challenging her religious convictions a bit, I think). Not only did she respond to emails she actually asked some questions about our desires.
I sent an email to Rev. Crawford stating our issues and frustrations and then telling her, "[f]or our own peace of mind we have decided to go with another officiant." I understand being overworked, and I understand being distracted. I even understand that our not being First U members makes us less of a priority. The lack of dialogue, however, was causing a remarkable amount of stress in what has been for the most part a very easy and smooth process. I can only hope all problems and issues are this easily resolved between now and the Big Day.
Not being particularly religious Amy and I wanted to have a wedding ceremony that reflected our beliefs (or lack thereof) but was both respectful and inclusive in regards to our families and friends. I suggested we talk to the interim minister of the First Unitarian Church in Louisville, Rev. Alma Crawford, because if anyone knew something about walking that line it would be a Unitarian minister.
It took several weeks just to get her on the phone and we should have listened to our guts then. When we were finally able to meet she had the day and the time wrong, though she did finally show up after numerous phone calls. The meeting went very well: she's funny, intelligent, insightful, and I believe she would have led a wonderful service. The problem was that she wasn't terribly organized and was easily distracted. Granted we weren't members of the church (technically I am, but I don't attend anymore) but she said this wasn't an issue at all and agreed to do it. We left the meeting wondering if we should be worried. This was in December.
It's now February 24th and to date we have received only three words from her letting us know she's not been hit by a bus or abducted by aliens. We planned (in the meeting with her) to get together again in order to go through the ceremony in some detail. We emailed her, called her, emailed her again, and have heard nothing save this in response to the second or third inquiry as to whether she'd received the information about the rehearsal date and time: "I'll be there!!!"
We talked to Amy's father who had offered to call a friend of his, a former Presbyterian minister, and asked him to go ahead and do so. She was interested and we met with her (we've met with her twice now in the span of two weeks!) and had an instant rapport (though our secular needs are challenging her religious convictions a bit, I think). Not only did she respond to emails she actually asked some questions about our desires.
I sent an email to Rev. Crawford stating our issues and frustrations and then telling her, "[f]or our own peace of mind we have decided to go with another officiant." I understand being overworked, and I understand being distracted. I even understand that our not being First U members makes us less of a priority. The lack of dialogue, however, was causing a remarkable amount of stress in what has been for the most part a very easy and smooth process. I can only hope all problems and issues are this easily resolved between now and the Big Day.