A Bench What-Now?
(or a Bonus Saturday Blog because Friday's was a Crap Meme)
Right at a year ago (it was February of last year) I was driving Adam and Stephen (my bandmates) back from a night of drinking and we decided we needed to stop for food. I was on Bardstown Road in Louisville at the time and this particular section is populated with one-way roads, apparently, all going in the opposite direction I needed. After two frustrating attempts to turn around I said, "Fuck it," and, it being 4am and with no one else on the road, drove the wrong way for approximately one hundred feet in order to get back onto Bardstown. At that precise moment, of course, a cop was driving past on the main road and watched me execute this daredevil feat. I didn't see it but Stephen said the police car actually made a u-turn in the middle of the street to come back for us.
I pulled over and handed the officer my license, registration, and a temporary copy of my insurance card because I believed I didn't have the new card in my wallet. He told me the insurance copy was expired and I needed to show up to court to prove I had insurance and everything would be fine. (I discovered later I had the up-to-date card in my wallet and this whole mess could have been avoided.) We went on to the diner, discovered it closed, and we ended up going back to Taco Belly-Ache.
Over the next few weeks I called and talked to various people at the Hall of Justice to see if I could just fax them a copy of my insurance card, and after some hemming and hawing they agreed to allow me to just bring a copy of it in rather than have to deal with showing up for a court hearing. I came in, dropped everything off, and went away thinking it was all resolved.
Cut to... Thursday. I got a letter in the mail telling me my case had been up for a year, my license was suspended for nearly that long, and I'd better take care of this. (There was also a statement that the Kentucky Licensing Bureau hand not yet received said license and I'd better mail it to them immediately.) Rather than bother with calling I went to the Hall of Justice with Jamie driving to get more information. A very pleasant woman put me on the docket for Friday morning, told me I had a bench warrant out for my arrest, and then asked for my driver's license. She made a photocopy of it while I threw up in my mouth a little, and then gave the license back to me. I had to sign a slip of paper acknowledging that I might be arrested the next morning and that I knew what time I was supposed to arrive, and then she flirted with Jamie and said goodbye. That was it. I took Jamie to lunch.
Friday morning saw me at the Hall of Justice dressed to the nines with plenty of time to spare. I looked at the list of names outside my courtroom and despaired: there were fifty or sixty people and I was near the bottom. Court started at 9am. I sat down, rose again when instructed, and sat again. I listened to the clerks argue about whether Kia cars suck (they do) and then listened to the judge read my Miranda rights to me and everyone else in the place. Hope left me at that point. When they called the names of the people being tried only about ten of us were actually there. I was called up to talk to the public defender and I was prepared to explain that I thought I had taken care of this, that I had been going through a divorce at the time, that I had paperwork to prove everything, and he said, "Do you have proof of insurance on you?" I did and gave it to him. "May I keep this?" Sure.... "Ok, go sit back down until the judge calls your name." Three minutes later the judge called me up, thanked me for wearing a tie, thanked me for providing proof of insurance, and then said, "Case dismissed." That was it. No fine, no anything. I asked her, a little stunned, where I could get a copy of the ruling so I could get my license reinstated. She looked confused, said they never did anything like that, and that it was updated in the system. She then instructed me to take the photocopied piece of paper in front of me and to come back if I had any problems. That was it. Done. It was 9:38 when I got back to my car two blocks away.
I read the sheet of paper when I got home and it said, "If your license was suspend due to not appearing in court you MUST PROVIDE A 'CERTIFIED'* COPY OF THE JUDGE'S RULING IN ORDER TO HAVE YOUR LICENSE REINSTATED." I called the number on the page and explained to the man on the phone (at the same extension as people who didn't pay child support and various other terrible things) my situation and he said, "I'll update that for you, no problem. There's a $40 fee which I can take now, or you can pay online." I gave him my credit card number, he emailed me a confirmation, said he would be mailing a piece of paper confirming all this within five days, and I am no longer driving illegally.
So let's recap: I had a bench warrant for my arrest for nearly a year and all I had to pay was a fee to reinstate my driving privileges. No court costs, no anything at all aside from forty bucks for filing.
That... makes my brain hurt.
~Benjamin, who is not looking a gift horse in the mouth
* I just "love" it when people use quotation marks incorrectly.
(or a Bonus Saturday Blog because Friday's was a Crap Meme)
Right at a year ago (it was February of last year) I was driving Adam and Stephen (my bandmates) back from a night of drinking and we decided we needed to stop for food. I was on Bardstown Road in Louisville at the time and this particular section is populated with one-way roads, apparently, all going in the opposite direction I needed. After two frustrating attempts to turn around I said, "Fuck it," and, it being 4am and with no one else on the road, drove the wrong way for approximately one hundred feet in order to get back onto Bardstown. At that precise moment, of course, a cop was driving past on the main road and watched me execute this daredevil feat. I didn't see it but Stephen said the police car actually made a u-turn in the middle of the street to come back for us.
I pulled over and handed the officer my license, registration, and a temporary copy of my insurance card because I believed I didn't have the new card in my wallet. He told me the insurance copy was expired and I needed to show up to court to prove I had insurance and everything would be fine. (I discovered later I had the up-to-date card in my wallet and this whole mess could have been avoided.) We went on to the diner, discovered it closed, and we ended up going back to Taco Belly-Ache.
Over the next few weeks I called and talked to various people at the Hall of Justice to see if I could just fax them a copy of my insurance card, and after some hemming and hawing they agreed to allow me to just bring a copy of it in rather than have to deal with showing up for a court hearing. I came in, dropped everything off, and went away thinking it was all resolved.
Cut to... Thursday. I got a letter in the mail telling me my case had been up for a year, my license was suspended for nearly that long, and I'd better take care of this. (There was also a statement that the Kentucky Licensing Bureau hand not yet received said license and I'd better mail it to them immediately.) Rather than bother with calling I went to the Hall of Justice with Jamie driving to get more information. A very pleasant woman put me on the docket for Friday morning, told me I had a bench warrant out for my arrest, and then asked for my driver's license. She made a photocopy of it while I threw up in my mouth a little, and then gave the license back to me. I had to sign a slip of paper acknowledging that I might be arrested the next morning and that I knew what time I was supposed to arrive, and then she flirted with Jamie and said goodbye. That was it. I took Jamie to lunch.
Friday morning saw me at the Hall of Justice dressed to the nines with plenty of time to spare. I looked at the list of names outside my courtroom and despaired: there were fifty or sixty people and I was near the bottom. Court started at 9am. I sat down, rose again when instructed, and sat again. I listened to the clerks argue about whether Kia cars suck (they do) and then listened to the judge read my Miranda rights to me and everyone else in the place. Hope left me at that point. When they called the names of the people being tried only about ten of us were actually there. I was called up to talk to the public defender and I was prepared to explain that I thought I had taken care of this, that I had been going through a divorce at the time, that I had paperwork to prove everything, and he said, "Do you have proof of insurance on you?" I did and gave it to him. "May I keep this?" Sure.... "Ok, go sit back down until the judge calls your name." Three minutes later the judge called me up, thanked me for wearing a tie, thanked me for providing proof of insurance, and then said, "Case dismissed." That was it. No fine, no anything. I asked her, a little stunned, where I could get a copy of the ruling so I could get my license reinstated. She looked confused, said they never did anything like that, and that it was updated in the system. She then instructed me to take the photocopied piece of paper in front of me and to come back if I had any problems. That was it. Done. It was 9:38 when I got back to my car two blocks away.
I read the sheet of paper when I got home and it said, "If your license was suspend due to not appearing in court you MUST PROVIDE A 'CERTIFIED'* COPY OF THE JUDGE'S RULING IN ORDER TO HAVE YOUR LICENSE REINSTATED." I called the number on the page and explained to the man on the phone (at the same extension as people who didn't pay child support and various other terrible things) my situation and he said, "I'll update that for you, no problem. There's a $40 fee which I can take now, or you can pay online." I gave him my credit card number, he emailed me a confirmation, said he would be mailing a piece of paper confirming all this within five days, and I am no longer driving illegally.
So let's recap: I had a bench warrant for my arrest for nearly a year and all I had to pay was a fee to reinstate my driving privileges. No court costs, no anything at all aside from forty bucks for filing.
That... makes my brain hurt.
~Benjamin, who is not looking a gift horse in the mouth
* I just "love" it when people use quotation marks incorrectly.