So.. If you follow the @blackheartburlesque Instgram you would of noticed they had an audition call out. the first one in a while I think the last one was in Chile last year.
Anyway..
Around this time last year I was in LA loving life, doing a bunch of shoots, meeting some long time inspirations and all that jazz,
Including meeting @sunny at her burlesque class which ended up being just us! so we had a lot of fun chatting and learning some routines. We caught up for drinks and honestly had a great time hanging out and talking about dancing and SG and all that.
I promised myself since that moment that the first chance I got to go to an audition in either LA or London I wouldn't hesitate. I would buy flights and get my ass there to audition no matter what. I wanted to be in the dance troupe more than I wanted to be an actual SG and get that pink status.
So I waited.. and waited.. there was talk of a London audition but it never happened.. Chile was so soon after my travels and not somewhere I had been before or was confident travelling by myself to so it just didn't make sense to go.
I waited some more.. life has gotten a lot more hectic.. new goals have been set and NOW a year later there are auditions on in LA on the 26th of August which is like 6 freaking days away and I don't know what to do!
I always thought I wouldn't hesitate for this opportunity but when I saw it there on Instagram my first thought was, I can't do this now... me and my partner have the cafe, I have shows already booked in the next month, I'm saving for Japan and Boobs.. I had thought seeing that notice would mean I would be booking my flights first chance I got..
Now I'm not so sure if its what I want anymore.. or if I can do it.. and what if I go and miss work, and my shows and audition, to jsut not get it? and what if I do get in? I'll me so far away from my partner and everything and ill have to change my visa to work.. there's just so much to think about!
I guess I'm mostly just ranting but also wanting some advice? what should I do?
I do have the money for flights but itll be eating out of my Japan savings.. and ill be missing work..
I know I'm a good dancing, I know I adore burlesque and my solo burlesque career.. its been ages since I was in a troupe.. fuck so much to think about!
thoughts? hellllpp??