Right now is one of those moments when you realize how alone you really are. It is one of those moments that make you ache for those moments you hold dear in your memory... and when you least expect it end up showing up as a pervasive and caustic echo of a long gone era. Ghosts whispering in your ear as you cruise by on your day to day life.
Hey grandma... lets go. Wake up. Lets take you back to your room. Why are you sleeping on the couch? No, this is not your room... its the living room. Come on grandma lets go.
Right now is one of those moments when you want to feel that embrace you yearn for so much. Problem is, you can't really put a face to that person who is supposed to give you that warm, smells like home in here, embrace.
Faces flicker as you try to focus. Your eyes strain and you see your mother... you see that person whom you gave your soul to... then you see the one who is willing to give theirs to you, but you are reluctant to accept... you see your mother again... you see your dad... you see that girl you dreamed about once, the one who had golden skin and tasted like coconuts... you see yourself looking back at your own reflection embossed in the depths of eyes so black no speck of light escapes... you see no one.
You hear the thunder in the distance... you click here, you click there, you double click elsewhere. Another ghost whispers in your ear, stirs some other memory. This one hurts too. You remember a park, Aztec ruins, laughter, the promise of a hard life long lived... a long life shared and continued... and as the last notes of the song you are listening to fade to the rhythm of the long echoing thunder, you quickly move on and focus on the image on your screen.
Although you have only seen it once in your life, you miss snow. You remember, this time on your own, how you used to fantasize about seeing snow for the first time. In your mind's eye, it was like the first time you had sex: it was supposed to be magical, and with someone you really loved. The truth was something all together. Random people, whom you never really had a truthful connection with... stupid unspoken protocols to follow... a ridiculous restrain, limiting your enjoyment of that special moment... and that sting of knowing that you were unable to share that particular monumental event in your life with someone you cared about.
These thoughts, catered by ghosts or stirred by themselves withing your head rise up and slowly float down as your fingers press down the keywork underneath them, and turn your electrical impulses of your brain into motion. Motion that in turn, is transformed into another electrical impulse that will be etched in hyperspace for you to read at your earliest convenience, sending a ghost generated electrical impulse from my brain to your brain.
This is one of those moments when you realize how alone you are. How desperate you are for that measure of human contact that will let you open up and share those little things that you keep in your heart's vault, safely locked away from prying eyes... and in that same instant you realize the danger such action caries.
No Grandma... i'm your grandson. Go get some rest; it's late.
Tonight you are lonely, and tonight you look for comfort in the prearranged pixels of an image, in faces of people you don't know and people that are a million and three miles away. You pretend you smell the aromas of the places they are in those pictures. You pretend you are there capturing that moment yourself, when in reality what you are doing is nothing more that creating a false memory to make you feel better.
Good night Grandma, don't forget to turn off the lamp by your bed.
Good night pillow. Would you mind if i hug you tonight? Would you mind if i use you as a placebo for that human contact i yearn for? Good night.
These are the moments when you realize how alone you really are.
Hey grandma... lets go. Wake up. Lets take you back to your room. Why are you sleeping on the couch? No, this is not your room... its the living room. Come on grandma lets go.
Right now is one of those moments when you want to feel that embrace you yearn for so much. Problem is, you can't really put a face to that person who is supposed to give you that warm, smells like home in here, embrace.
Faces flicker as you try to focus. Your eyes strain and you see your mother... you see that person whom you gave your soul to... then you see the one who is willing to give theirs to you, but you are reluctant to accept... you see your mother again... you see your dad... you see that girl you dreamed about once, the one who had golden skin and tasted like coconuts... you see yourself looking back at your own reflection embossed in the depths of eyes so black no speck of light escapes... you see no one.
You hear the thunder in the distance... you click here, you click there, you double click elsewhere. Another ghost whispers in your ear, stirs some other memory. This one hurts too. You remember a park, Aztec ruins, laughter, the promise of a hard life long lived... a long life shared and continued... and as the last notes of the song you are listening to fade to the rhythm of the long echoing thunder, you quickly move on and focus on the image on your screen.
Although you have only seen it once in your life, you miss snow. You remember, this time on your own, how you used to fantasize about seeing snow for the first time. In your mind's eye, it was like the first time you had sex: it was supposed to be magical, and with someone you really loved. The truth was something all together. Random people, whom you never really had a truthful connection with... stupid unspoken protocols to follow... a ridiculous restrain, limiting your enjoyment of that special moment... and that sting of knowing that you were unable to share that particular monumental event in your life with someone you cared about.
These thoughts, catered by ghosts or stirred by themselves withing your head rise up and slowly float down as your fingers press down the keywork underneath them, and turn your electrical impulses of your brain into motion. Motion that in turn, is transformed into another electrical impulse that will be etched in hyperspace for you to read at your earliest convenience, sending a ghost generated electrical impulse from my brain to your brain.
This is one of those moments when you realize how alone you are. How desperate you are for that measure of human contact that will let you open up and share those little things that you keep in your heart's vault, safely locked away from prying eyes... and in that same instant you realize the danger such action caries.
No Grandma... i'm your grandson. Go get some rest; it's late.
Tonight you are lonely, and tonight you look for comfort in the prearranged pixels of an image, in faces of people you don't know and people that are a million and three miles away. You pretend you smell the aromas of the places they are in those pictures. You pretend you are there capturing that moment yourself, when in reality what you are doing is nothing more that creating a false memory to make you feel better.
Good night Grandma, don't forget to turn off the lamp by your bed.
Good night pillow. Would you mind if i hug you tonight? Would you mind if i use you as a placebo for that human contact i yearn for? Good night.
These are the moments when you realize how alone you really are.