Part 2 of my Chuck Norris tribute
I swear this shit is BRILLIANT
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about Chuck Norris during sex. A similar poll discovered Chuck Norris thinks about Chuck Norris 100% of the time during sex.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green ..4 card from the game UNO.
There are 342 parts of Chuck Norriss body that he can kill you with. Chuck Norris can kill two people simultaneously with his nipple.
A Chevy truck was totalled in a car accident. It hit black ice, then hit Chuck Norris. You tell me what did the damage.
It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen Sandiego is, but he wont tell because he doesnt want anyone to find the body.
Chuck Norris had sex with a bear from the INSIDE.
Chuck Norris left testicle is comprised entirely of beef jerky. Teriyaki style.
Chuck Norris paints his walls by throwing children at them.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Every year on his birthday, Chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
I swear this shit is BRILLIANT
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about Chuck Norris during sex. A similar poll discovered Chuck Norris thinks about Chuck Norris 100% of the time during sex.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green ..4 card from the game UNO.
There are 342 parts of Chuck Norriss body that he can kill you with. Chuck Norris can kill two people simultaneously with his nipple.
A Chevy truck was totalled in a car accident. It hit black ice, then hit Chuck Norris. You tell me what did the damage.
It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen Sandiego is, but he wont tell because he doesnt want anyone to find the body.
Chuck Norris had sex with a bear from the INSIDE.
Chuck Norris left testicle is comprised entirely of beef jerky. Teriyaki style.
Chuck Norris paints his walls by throwing children at them.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Every year on his birthday, Chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
probably armageddon. Just a theory