burtlo

I have often been considered by my peers socially successful in my dealings with individuals. What they have often remarked on is my ability to gain a fairly respectable level of report with a stranger in relatively short order. In the past I did not often consider my actions, I simply acted on some indescribable, internal drive. This made it exceedingly difficult to convey how I accomplished the task - though, I do not often recall being asked to explain.

It was not until I had performed in Cosi, while attending a series of Drama classes, before I was able to realize this simple concept. During a few of the rehearsals the director sat at the back of the theater, judging the blocking and volume of the performance in the poorly constructed space, to ensure that on the night everyone would be able to enjoy the performance. During a particular scene my character was placed upstage in the corner of the space and the director was finding it rather difficult to hear me. I immediately tried to overcome the situation by talking louder.

I was successful... in being louder. However, every line that I delivered in that position started at a lower volume and then raised to the appropriate volume. The result stripped any nuances or subtext from the words, leaving me just yelling words in a space. I left the rehearsal defeated.

It was not until later that I realized the solution required me to apply a different mental model in this situation. Volume is a relatively easy concept to understand, however it lacked the context of what I really hoped to accomplish: I wanted to talk with the character but I also wanted to include everyone, all the way to farthest point back, as well.

It is a subtle difference because really does come down to a level of volume. However, it was easier to conceptualize this level of volume by considering those I wanted to hear me. I thought of space and my life experience was able to instruct me how I needed I project to fill that space.

To reel it in... A person can suggest that you remain calm or act natural when attempting to talk with someone. This is the ends, with no instruction to reach natural or calm. There is no strong metaphor or mental model for one to use there in that instruction set to put you at ease.

I suggest: Treat the person as though they were family or a friend that you have not seen in a great number of years.

Mileage may very for those of you that have no friends or attend your family gatherings in full Battle-Dress (Flask = Canteen). But I feel that in most cases the model serves a good majority, because conversations with old friends or long-time family often imply that sense of comfort and excitement that one hopes to accomplish.