Okay so sometimes girls need to go out and dance? Well I need to sit down and blog. i have too much rolling around in my head right now. They say things come in threes. Well this is what I can tell you. If there is a fourth item that drop in my lap today I am just gonna take a long walk off a short pier.
I slept in this morning I didn't set the alarm. I get up late and puts around for a bit and then get dressed and head to the computer. I have an IM from my ex, from a few hours ago. Now keep in mind she is my ex for a very good reason. She destroyed my life, tried to change who I was, and tried to rally all my friends against me. But I log in and this is the message on my computer screen.
what's up dude?
i guess you are not there, hope things are good
I thinkabout you all the time and just want to say hi
Thinks about me all the time? She is getting married in less then a year. i haven't spoke with her in at least 6 years, probably more. I have chatted with her maybe half a dozen times online in the past 3 years. now I know that other people are are gonna argue with this point, but I told her things were over a long time ago, and I can't see any reason for her to keep looking back towards me. And on top of that I am 3000 miles away. That just made me feel really weird today.
So then I went off to D&D, and I put aim on my phone, it's a lesser used screen name of mine so Tanya could get a hold of me while I am not at the computer. But I got a message from my old boss at home depot. Letting me know that a lady she worked with who was also my boss passed away last week after a long battle with cancer. This nearly crushed me when I read it. But to explain why I need to put in a little bit of back story.
After I dropped out of college in 2001, I wound up working at home depot as a cashier, which is basically the bottom of their totem pole. The next step up the ladder would be working returns, and the person who is in charge of all that on a daily basis is the head cashier. Now a head cashier is the person who gets all the blame when things don't go right, and none of the credit when things run smooth.
When I was working there, I was fighting with my mom and not happy living at home. I dated a girl named Carlie for a while and that didn't work out and it broke my heart. Then I met Tanya and moved out of my mom's house, and with in a month or so.
I was working a lot of the morning shifts at home depot. The 6am-330pm or something close to it. And most off the time that I open, the head cashier was Kathy Davis. And she made it a point everyday to walk by and ask how I was doing. And not just is passing she would stop, ask how I was doing, make sure I had been eating well see if I had talked to my mother lately, and other small stuff. I usually tried to keep up a happy face around her (well as happy as I get working at 6am) but unfailingly if I was having a bad day by 7:30 or 8am she would show up with a cup of coffee, and sometimes a donut for me. It was the sweetest thing. She wasn't he only one who looked out for me when I was working there, but I think she took it a step beyond what was needed and it always makes me smile when I look back on it.
She was also the only person I can think of when I said "Tanya is moving to California, and I am gonna go with her." That did ask me if I was kidding. Or take odds on how long I would last. She was the one who sat me down and asked me what would happen if things didn't work out, and when I told her I would either make my own way in California or find a way to come back east. She told me to go for it.
Last time I was home for vacation I stopped by and it was a day she wasn't working. I was going to try and do the same thing when I went back in August this year. But I can't think of a reason to actually stop by the big orange box with out her being there.
I got my self a pound of Dunkin Donuts coffee at safe and I am gonna drink my next cup to her after all she did to help me out.
And the last thing was I got an email from Tanya today, when I got back from D&D. She is down in the dumps, She is still dealing with the "You're Just a girl let me show you how to do it" syndrome from the tech crew on her boat. Plus she still has no cellphone service, and it turns out that the internet when boat is not in dry dock is even more money. Making it $0.25 per minute for internet access. I know she is getting home sick, and I miss her a lot. I know if things don't work out she will be back home. But at the same time every time something goes wrong I can keep suggesting she comes back home.
But that is it for me right now. Just getting it all down in writing has helped. If you have bothered reading all of this thank you.
I slept in this morning I didn't set the alarm. I get up late and puts around for a bit and then get dressed and head to the computer. I have an IM from my ex, from a few hours ago. Now keep in mind she is my ex for a very good reason. She destroyed my life, tried to change who I was, and tried to rally all my friends against me. But I log in and this is the message on my computer screen.
what's up dude?
i guess you are not there, hope things are good
I thinkabout you all the time and just want to say hi
Thinks about me all the time? She is getting married in less then a year. i haven't spoke with her in at least 6 years, probably more. I have chatted with her maybe half a dozen times online in the past 3 years. now I know that other people are are gonna argue with this point, but I told her things were over a long time ago, and I can't see any reason for her to keep looking back towards me. And on top of that I am 3000 miles away. That just made me feel really weird today.
So then I went off to D&D, and I put aim on my phone, it's a lesser used screen name of mine so Tanya could get a hold of me while I am not at the computer. But I got a message from my old boss at home depot. Letting me know that a lady she worked with who was also my boss passed away last week after a long battle with cancer. This nearly crushed me when I read it. But to explain why I need to put in a little bit of back story.
After I dropped out of college in 2001, I wound up working at home depot as a cashier, which is basically the bottom of their totem pole. The next step up the ladder would be working returns, and the person who is in charge of all that on a daily basis is the head cashier. Now a head cashier is the person who gets all the blame when things don't go right, and none of the credit when things run smooth.
When I was working there, I was fighting with my mom and not happy living at home. I dated a girl named Carlie for a while and that didn't work out and it broke my heart. Then I met Tanya and moved out of my mom's house, and with in a month or so.
I was working a lot of the morning shifts at home depot. The 6am-330pm or something close to it. And most off the time that I open, the head cashier was Kathy Davis. And she made it a point everyday to walk by and ask how I was doing. And not just is passing she would stop, ask how I was doing, make sure I had been eating well see if I had talked to my mother lately, and other small stuff. I usually tried to keep up a happy face around her (well as happy as I get working at 6am) but unfailingly if I was having a bad day by 7:30 or 8am she would show up with a cup of coffee, and sometimes a donut for me. It was the sweetest thing. She wasn't he only one who looked out for me when I was working there, but I think she took it a step beyond what was needed and it always makes me smile when I look back on it.
She was also the only person I can think of when I said "Tanya is moving to California, and I am gonna go with her." That did ask me if I was kidding. Or take odds on how long I would last. She was the one who sat me down and asked me what would happen if things didn't work out, and when I told her I would either make my own way in California or find a way to come back east. She told me to go for it.
Last time I was home for vacation I stopped by and it was a day she wasn't working. I was going to try and do the same thing when I went back in August this year. But I can't think of a reason to actually stop by the big orange box with out her being there.
I got my self a pound of Dunkin Donuts coffee at safe and I am gonna drink my next cup to her after all she did to help me out.
And the last thing was I got an email from Tanya today, when I got back from D&D. She is down in the dumps, She is still dealing with the "You're Just a girl let me show you how to do it" syndrome from the tech crew on her boat. Plus she still has no cellphone service, and it turns out that the internet when boat is not in dry dock is even more money. Making it $0.25 per minute for internet access. I know she is getting home sick, and I miss her a lot. I know if things don't work out she will be back home. But at the same time every time something goes wrong I can keep suggesting she comes back home.
But that is it for me right now. Just getting it all down in writing has helped. If you have bothered reading all of this thank you.
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