so now that i'm not going to toronto, i really don't have anything to do. there are a lot of other places i could go, but... i really don't even feel like leaving the house.
note for future reference: the liquor store down the street closes at 9:30, not 10:00. suckers.
all right. so for those that didn't know, i used to be a sexuality/gender studies major of sorts. this means lots of women's studies classes and lots of talk about feminism and sex roles and power and blah blah blah. lots of talk about porn and the wrongs and rights of it.
well, to be honest, i've never really watched a lot of porn. it's okay, but most of the ones i've seen are all the same and i get really bored. it seems kind of pointless to me to watch different people doing the exact same thing that i just watched other people doing. (why not just do it yourself? i'm not saying that porn's not a turn on. i'm saying that after awhile, you need to just fucking do it and not watch it.)
i used to not really like porn at all. part of me still doesn't. i don't like seeing every porn end with a girl on her knees getting a facial. to me, that's a statement about power and that's a statement about the male orgasm being more important than the female's, etc. you can argue that i'm reading into it, but when you really sit there and think about it...
for a long time, i kind of forgot about the idea that female's are objects used for male pleasure. i forgot about it until a guy so helpfully reminded me one night last summer. i can't say that i've felt the same way about fooling around with men since. (thanks go out to the girl a week later who helped remind me things can be more balanced than that.) i'm not sure i really know what i'm trying to say...
except that i really want to understand and destroy where men get the idea that it's all about them. i have no penis envy. i don't want a dick. they're fun to play with, but i don't want to own one. i don't see why i am here for your fucking pleasure and mine is secondary. (yes, i know that not all men are like this. and not all porn is like that either.) i understand the power dynamics in sex and like to play with roles just as much as the next person, but i just think that too often the "playing" translates over to something it's not supposed to be.
not every girl wants to be down on her knees for your cock. not every girl wants you to cum all over her face. not every girl is all about YOU. when i choose to be down on my knees, it's because i want to be there, not because you have power over me. when i choose to be submissive, it's because i choose to do so, not because you force me into it. maybe the girls in these porns feel the same way, but i don't think it's like that all the time.
i don't know. certain things just hit me the wrong way. and i'm not saying that men aren't objectified. they are. but 9 times out of 10, they're not the ones. there aren't a whole lot of porns objectifying the men the same way they objectify the women.
of course a lot of this comes from my general feelings about sex anyway. i don't do it casually. i've fooled around casually and it doesn't usually make me feel very good afterward. (making out doesn't count because it's just fucking making out. i don't even do that with people i don't at least like and respect anyway.) at least when it's been with men, because the above statements have always been true in those cases. i have had very few encounters with men that have been mutually respectful. women are a little different. i think there tends to be a lot more respect between women when it comes to boundaries. the power is more equal. and that makes sense, but i don't necessarily think that it shouldn't be the same with men.
as a side note, i hope all this ranting is obviously not related to mutually consenting and respectful power play such as bdsm. i'm not saying i dislike getting down on my knees. i like giving blow jobs. i like submission. i like dominating. but there are contexts where it's okay and then there are the times when it's bullshit.
i wonder if i actually got my point across...
also: the next person who says "she just needs some cock." is going to get punched in the throat.
note for future reference: the liquor store down the street closes at 9:30, not 10:00. suckers.
all right. so for those that didn't know, i used to be a sexuality/gender studies major of sorts. this means lots of women's studies classes and lots of talk about feminism and sex roles and power and blah blah blah. lots of talk about porn and the wrongs and rights of it.
well, to be honest, i've never really watched a lot of porn. it's okay, but most of the ones i've seen are all the same and i get really bored. it seems kind of pointless to me to watch different people doing the exact same thing that i just watched other people doing. (why not just do it yourself? i'm not saying that porn's not a turn on. i'm saying that after awhile, you need to just fucking do it and not watch it.)
i used to not really like porn at all. part of me still doesn't. i don't like seeing every porn end with a girl on her knees getting a facial. to me, that's a statement about power and that's a statement about the male orgasm being more important than the female's, etc. you can argue that i'm reading into it, but when you really sit there and think about it...
for a long time, i kind of forgot about the idea that female's are objects used for male pleasure. i forgot about it until a guy so helpfully reminded me one night last summer. i can't say that i've felt the same way about fooling around with men since. (thanks go out to the girl a week later who helped remind me things can be more balanced than that.) i'm not sure i really know what i'm trying to say...
except that i really want to understand and destroy where men get the idea that it's all about them. i have no penis envy. i don't want a dick. they're fun to play with, but i don't want to own one. i don't see why i am here for your fucking pleasure and mine is secondary. (yes, i know that not all men are like this. and not all porn is like that either.) i understand the power dynamics in sex and like to play with roles just as much as the next person, but i just think that too often the "playing" translates over to something it's not supposed to be.
not every girl wants to be down on her knees for your cock. not every girl wants you to cum all over her face. not every girl is all about YOU. when i choose to be down on my knees, it's because i want to be there, not because you have power over me. when i choose to be submissive, it's because i choose to do so, not because you force me into it. maybe the girls in these porns feel the same way, but i don't think it's like that all the time.
i don't know. certain things just hit me the wrong way. and i'm not saying that men aren't objectified. they are. but 9 times out of 10, they're not the ones. there aren't a whole lot of porns objectifying the men the same way they objectify the women.
of course a lot of this comes from my general feelings about sex anyway. i don't do it casually. i've fooled around casually and it doesn't usually make me feel very good afterward. (making out doesn't count because it's just fucking making out. i don't even do that with people i don't at least like and respect anyway.) at least when it's been with men, because the above statements have always been true in those cases. i have had very few encounters with men that have been mutually respectful. women are a little different. i think there tends to be a lot more respect between women when it comes to boundaries. the power is more equal. and that makes sense, but i don't necessarily think that it shouldn't be the same with men.
as a side note, i hope all this ranting is obviously not related to mutually consenting and respectful power play such as bdsm. i'm not saying i dislike getting down on my knees. i like giving blow jobs. i like submission. i like dominating. but there are contexts where it's okay and then there are the times when it's bullshit.
i wonder if i actually got my point across...
also: the next person who says "she just needs some cock." is going to get punched in the throat.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
whatshisnuts:
Very interesting. As one of the "not every man is like that" group, I still understand because there has been times where it has been "like that". I don't know. I think that having been with guys has made me more aware of things like that. A good share of the women (I can still count them on one hand) that I have been with have been sexually abused in some way and for the most part are turned off by men. And yet they still are attracted to me and can love me the way that I love them. I think roles are often switched that it becomes more balanced, at least in my relationships. Anyway, what are your thoughts on gay or lesbian porn? Do you see them objectifying their own sex? Or is there more equal power in that. Just a question. I'd like to hear your thoughts on it though. 
thepumkinking:
She just needs some pussy? :X lol sorry I had to test it! >.< ~hugs~ Calm down silly :p