bunnypudding

im getting really fucked off as of late with just about everything...as with my other blog..the lack of pictures from shoots is doing my head..and even when i do get to do a shoot i never get to be a make up artist im just usally there to cover spots and do pretty eye make up...and im getting so frustrated by it all...i want to be a MAKE UP ARTIST...not a beautician..yes making people look good is part of the job but its also getting to be creative and experiment..and its getting me really down at the min.And no one seems to get it unless i mention the artist part then they go "oh well its all exprience"..gah...how would a painter feel if they had to do commissions all the time?or a photographer having to do family portraits alday/..thats right fucking useless and pointless thats what.gah!

Also uni aswell,i hate my course and i cannot wait to leave but i know the moment i leave im going to have to deal with what happens to me and charlie (my boyfriend) after we finish..we both want different things in life and the only thing we seem to want the same is each other...and i can see where its going and this only makes me more depressed,i dont want anyone else and to tell the truth thats why ive decided to move to london..i figure if me and charlie cannot work it out at least ill be able to do a job i love (if i ever get a chance to do it)..and everyone is going "oh you will move on" blah blah blah..yet when im alone with these people they have all said the same thing to me and that is to try to comprimise and see what happens..as they all know that charlie is pretty much "THE ONE" FOR ME (Im a very cold person and pretty much cannot be bothered with men as ive had so much shit in the past so they know how amazing me and charlie are together)...but alas what am i ment to do?he wants to travel and see the world and i would never stop that as i believe that would be the best thing for him its just what happens after that upsets me..he wont move to a big city because he hates them..and my job pretty much only has a chance in the big city...so its catch 22...and im so gutted.And i have no way out really and i know what a wreakhead i can be on my own..im pretty much going to self destruct if we have to part... ...pretty much the only people keeping me sane are my housemate karen and tragique and even then i still feel crap about it..so much so that my only out let is this blog..what can i do?i really have no idea its like i always have to be punished for being happy everytime i find a bit of goodness in my life..and well FUCK IT ALL OFF!..does anyone else ever feel the same?why is it all the cunts of the world get the best breaks ever and we stuck here just trying to keep it together?!.

In other news i do have some shoots lined up which im really excited about but ill tell you more about them when they happen..also please please please do me a favour and look up the BOOBIQ in the hopefuls section...as its a fucking greaT old school set and it means alot to get it live...also please please look at the hopefuls and leave feedback..i try and do this as often as i can..and i know how easy it is to say "I LOVED IT" but it means so so much for SGs to get some actual worded replies from people..believe me these girls work hard to keep the spirit of this site up and going!!without the SGS and the hopefuls we are fucked...also...it means alot to people like me who worked on the shoots and never get credit apart from the comments and them going live...please look at nee_chee,sitch,roz doz,misstress_paine,amour and all the other wonderful hopefuls that ive worked with..it would make me feel a little better...in the fact the only thing that would make me happy right now another BOOBIQ....XXX


ps.i love you all and i expect to hear all the news from you..and make it extra interesting..add smut xxx


pps...im fucking matt damon