buddha

ok...... I have a rant. then i will apolgize to those that i need to aplogize too.

I have often referred to one of my ex's as "the stalker". One of the cruelist women I have ever known, i mean verbally. It wasn't a clean break, she would call me up in the middle of the night and just say i just "fucked so and so" or " guess who just took it up the ass" and so on and so on. This women, who if the realtionship only had lasted another week or so, would of been my fiance..... She Just got out of the army, she didnt say why, or what for.... But now she is back in town, and JUST HAD TO TELL ME she is now engaged....

this women is evil, no good, pure hatred..... so why am i crying? Why do i miss her? I know i like the abuse, but that was..... fucking CRUEL

i have only said this about one person in my life(my father). I HATE HER....and i just don't hate anyone

fuck i really really need a beer


To Dharmabox, Er and Kos.....
i am so very sorry, i lied to you guys, i had told you i was called into work, i just didn't want to bring my family issues up. I spent a couple hours with my mother, she was crying, talking about ending it all, and as always, she calls me, cause i am the only person who still listens to her....

I really feel like scum, you guys are my friends, and i know i dont have to hide things from you, but im just fed up with myself / my life, always sounding like a fucking soap opera, i figured the "work" excuse was good. especially you DharmaBox, you are up here for only a short time, and i really really wanted to meet you, and the lovely ER. if you are mad at me, i completely understand. you should never lie to friends (or anyone for that matter)

Sincerely
Ryan