buckknuckle

I'm a really boring person. Why would anyone want to hang out and watch me watch tv? I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I've been a little lonely. I wrote an entry a couple of months ago about the friends I have in Texas and how I haven't found any people like that since I left. But what I've been thinking lately is that I'm now so closed off from people that to have that level of intellectual friendship I would have to put forth an effort. When I talk to people now it's gossipy stuff, or the weather, or my about my job. I've become superficial. I miss being able to talk about the occidental versus oreintal ways of thought and having people get it. I miss coffee fueled debates about the revolution, the importance of suicide, Carl Jung and wether it's right to enjoy fiction when there's so many non-fiction books that need to be read.

Last night I was awoken by a female voice screaming. My bedroom window is 4 feet way from the backyard next door and it sounded like it was coming from there. I tried to go back to sleep when she said "YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE!" and I realised it was just some couple fighting. But then I heard some scuffling... so I got dressed and grabbed my pistol and stormed into the living room... right into my roommate and his girlfriend fighting. It was them fighting, not the neighbors. Thankfully my gun was in my pocket. She stormed out to drive home drunk while the roommate tried to explain why they were fighting. I told him I didn't want to know and went back to bed.

Maybe I'm better off alone.