buckknuckle

Tonight I'm having dinner with a friend that I haven't really talked to in 3 years. We went out for a short time, and then we were roommates for a year. It ended badly. Very badly. I saw here a few months ago at her art show opening. Recently we've been emailing some, and now dinner. She didn't like my girlfriend, now ex girlfriend, and once she found out that we weren't together she started emailing more. No, I don't think she's like "interested" in me again, but I do wonder what she wants from me now. I have this history of being close to women that like to use me. This woman cost me literally thousands of dollars. But tonight she claims she's buying me dinner.

I'm not nervous, I'm just tired. Tired of people making me feel weird. I miss being a little more even kieled, able to take a punch. Little things send me spinning lately. It makes me want to hide from people that I even enjoy being around. But being by myself isn't so good either.

So tonight I'm going out with someone I really don't care to go out with. I sure am stupid for being so damn smart.