buaku

I like to think of myself as a patient individual. I try to avoid being in a rushed situation and I don't view every second of my life as being so precious that I have get something done or accomplished. I like to slow down and appreciate the world in it's beauty. Watch the clouds float in the sky...the wind rustling through the trees...birds singing...you get my drift.

But I was in the mall yesterday, walking in the aisles when groups of people would suddenly stop and block the aisle. Sometimes it was a mother and her brood stopping to attend a certain child's needs, or some old folks who had to stop and point at every store within sight. Now, I wasn't in a hurry or anything, but I didn't want to stop moving. Certainly, I could've waited, or gone around, or even said "excuse me" and politely walk through their group. But for some reason, I had this urge...I clutched my bag from Suncoast like a ball.

For a brief moment, my mind escaped reality as my heart raced and my mouth formed a grin. I no longer saw them as ordinary people. The doors at the end of Macy's was my end zone and these "people" were in my way. I envisioned my self crashing through and stepping on or over a tangled mass of humanity. Fortunately my body has installed a fail-safe to kick in when my brain starts to runaway into irrational behavior. As the adrenaline subsided, my brain returned to the rational. It would be so uncool to knock over and possibly injure defenseless old people and young children. I walked around these groups to the end doors of Macy's, chastising myself for even taking delight in the thought of doing such a deed.

However, if they were highschoolers or twentysomethings, it would probably be alright. I looked around but couldn't find such a group. Oh well..maybe not today..or tomorrow..or even next week. I just have to be patient.