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bryterlayter

Constant state of osmosis

Member Since 2007

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Friday Jul 13, 2007

Jul 13, 2007
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You don't deal with it; it deals with you


This is my moment of self-wallowing so won't you indulge me. So it hit me somewhere in the middle of "License to Wed" that I'm out, on a Friday night, watching a romantic-comedy with another guy's girlfriend who asks me just before the movie starts if I've ever done online dating because she's thinking of trying it.

What do you say to that? Now this may seem strange all to begin with, but this girl and I have a history. I won't say who did what to who, but I will say that we had a good time a few years ago, but bad timing and all with it being six months after losing the love of my life. We parted ways but we've reconnected. Of course she started dating some guy literally two days before we met back up. All she does is complain about him. Told him, after barely dating a month, that he won't have a girlfriend if he keeps acting the way he has been alst the while she tells me how much fun she has when we go out. (Did I mention her BF is a cop and that I'll probably end up in jail at some point?). It's good to know that I fall somewhere after a poor relationship and online dating. Makes my self-esteem rise through the roof.

If this was a one-shot deal maybe I'd take it better than sitting on the couch with a Heiniken keg and watching London, but not four months ago another girl chose a relationship that she wasn't too keen on rather than give me a shot. Have I become such a shell of the man I once was that this is the fate I've been resigned to? I know all the bullshit about this one not meant to be and blah blah blah. While I am looking for the woman I'd like to marry, right now I'd at least settle for someone that is willing to go out with me. Is that really too much to ask? Seems to be. I don't even know where this whole blog is going, but I'm just frustrated. Frustrated about how I seem to pick the wrong girl every single time for the past four years. Frustrated about how every girl tells me how such a great guy I am right before they either dump me or decide to go out with some other dude. I just don't get it.

I don't get it and I'm already tired of hearing myself whine about it. Just don't know what I"m doing wrong.

This is my closer...

"Fuck off and die you fucked up slag."--from Closer

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