brotherwolf

I just want to curl up in a ball and cry the rest of the day. I just found out via facebook that the girl I've been saving myself for the last six months is now dating some douche! She just came out of a serious relationship six months ago that produced a child. She moved back to Ohio 6 months ago and we started hanging out as friends. Within a week we had started dating, things started moving amazingly. Unfortunately a little too fast for coming right out of a relationship, so we slowed it down. We have been hanging out together about once a week on average since then and she showed no signs of wanting to be with anyone else. Then today when I saw that facebook profile update I just wanted to die. It's some guy at her work, she said it just happened. That is not a reason it's a fucking cop out. We've been friends for years, the least she could have done was tell me in person and not let me read about it online. I consider myself a very strong person emotionally, but this is really cutting me deeply. This was my dream girl, beautiful, smart, crazy sense of humor. The girl I would have married without any hesitation. The one that could make my day just by sending a smile my way. The one who made me think there really was such a thing as soul mates. My mental walls that keep me strong are slowly crumbling away, exposing the man who just wants to be loved and love in return. The cruelness of the world is hitting the exposed man, with no way to shield himself from the sick joke that is life. I wonder how much of him will be left after he has weathered the storm. Will he be able to fully love and trust ever again? Will I always put my walls up like I have in the past to prevent this from ever happening again? With a billion people on this planet, why is it so hard to find just one that will love me for me? One that I can spend the rest of my life with. To hold, to cherish, to spoil, to devote my life and love to. They say life is short, but why is it at times like this you wish it had ended years ago to avoid this pain.