Well apparently the solution to my Catherine conundrum has been to not speak with her. Unfortunately, she seems to have adopted a similar strategy, and now neither one of us has spoken since she up and left the bar without saying goodbye 10 long days ago. The time apart has kind of numbed the pain, however the fact that she's made no attempt whatsoever to get in touch has, at the same time, added a new dimension to the pain. Is she making a conscious effort to avoid me, or has she merely been busy with work etc.? Best not to linger too long on that one...
I miss her. Shit. Having said that, I can't bring myself to call her...not yet...it just seems too denigrating, like "look who came crawling back". Months ago, when we discussed the possibility of a relationship, and decided that the timing was not right, I was happy for the hope that the timing might someday (soon?) be right, and all could be well at last. Now part of me resents the hope she left me with, and the fact that that hope, propelled by the amount of time we spent together ballooned into these awful feeling that I have now, those that seem to have compromised what was once a wonderful friendship. English teachers of old cringe at my run-on sentence. Why can't I meet someone wonderful? Why does it always seem to happen this way? Why is it that most every girl I've ever been really interested in would profess that I am such a wonderful guy, and such a great catch, and that the girl that ends up with me should count herself lucky? It all rings so hollow when the person telling you that refuses to return your feelings for her.
I miss her. Shit. Having said that, I can't bring myself to call her...not yet...it just seems too denigrating, like "look who came crawling back". Months ago, when we discussed the possibility of a relationship, and decided that the timing was not right, I was happy for the hope that the timing might someday (soon?) be right, and all could be well at last. Now part of me resents the hope she left me with, and the fact that that hope, propelled by the amount of time we spent together ballooned into these awful feeling that I have now, those that seem to have compromised what was once a wonderful friendship. English teachers of old cringe at my run-on sentence. Why can't I meet someone wonderful? Why does it always seem to happen this way? Why is it that most every girl I've ever been really interested in would profess that I am such a wonderful guy, and such a great catch, and that the girl that ends up with me should count herself lucky? It all rings so hollow when the person telling you that refuses to return your feelings for her.
Head up; it'll get better
I'm really not as unhappy as it might seem, but I sit down to write here and it all just pours out, leaving precious little room for the good stuff (say, a good afternoon of slacking off with an old friend over an extended lunch). See you soon!