So she e-mails ten times a day. We hang out multiple times a week. She gets all girly and excited (very out of character for her) when I bring her flowers. She jokes around saying things like I should come around more often so her kitten will have a father figure. She knows I like her, and she dances around the issue, teasing it ever so slightly. She knows I'm a virgin, and again teases the issue (she drew a picture of a giraffe with a nice tail, and made a card of it saying: Don't worry, you'll get some nice tail soon). Is she a tease? I dunno. I've never even kissed her, and with the exception of passing out cuddling once, there's never really been anything physical. Yet when I open my e-mail this morning (I was already depressed between the Flames losing last night, and her appearing upset for other reasons by the end of the night), what do I read?
She's tired. She never gets a good night's sleep. Friday will be no different because she's got a CASUAL DATE. Hold up. Back up a minute. What the hell is a casual date? Hello sinking feeling, it's been a while (not really). What the fuck. I kinda stood patiently by, because due to personal circumstances in her life, she needed a friend, not a boyfriend. And now apparently she can resume her search for love, with me firmly entrenched in the "best friend" spot, and utterly miserable, in love with her.
New e-mail from her...that was quick. Her date's with some dude who belittled her, and objectified her at the Back Alley in front of his friends last year. When she smashed a bottle and ran out crying, guess who followed her out to the parking lot, to if not cheer her up, at least listen to her, and let her know that she was better than that? Out of guesses? Yep, that's how that trip to the Alley ended, with me having to leave early to be a decent guy. She claims she doesn't really care one way or another (about going out on Friday with him, that is), but that she's curious to see how he's been...Fuck. Do I even have any right to be jealous? Does that matter, or make a difference?
Allright, I just spent a 1/2 hour on the phone with my best friend, and he calmed me down a little. Maybe it's time to get my ass in gear and go to work...
She's tired. She never gets a good night's sleep. Friday will be no different because she's got a CASUAL DATE. Hold up. Back up a minute. What the hell is a casual date? Hello sinking feeling, it's been a while (not really). What the fuck. I kinda stood patiently by, because due to personal circumstances in her life, she needed a friend, not a boyfriend. And now apparently she can resume her search for love, with me firmly entrenched in the "best friend" spot, and utterly miserable, in love with her.
New e-mail from her...that was quick. Her date's with some dude who belittled her, and objectified her at the Back Alley in front of his friends last year. When she smashed a bottle and ran out crying, guess who followed her out to the parking lot, to if not cheer her up, at least listen to her, and let her know that she was better than that? Out of guesses? Yep, that's how that trip to the Alley ended, with me having to leave early to be a decent guy. She claims she doesn't really care one way or another (about going out on Friday with him, that is), but that she's curious to see how he's been...Fuck. Do I even have any right to be jealous? Does that matter, or make a difference?
Allright, I just spent a 1/2 hour on the phone with my best friend, and he calmed me down a little. Maybe it's time to get my ass in gear and go to work...
brotherofmetal:
Wow, didn't realize how pathetic some of that sounded (ie: never even kissed her...) until I proofread it. At least I think it was gramatically correct. Gotta have something going for me...
rexa:
Your grammar, sir, is impeccable (although, you used a period instead of a question mark after "What the fuck". Nobody's perfect). But I would like to offer testimony to the fact that you have much more going for you than your verbal skills (clearly, you had help with those...say, from a thesaurus, maybe? 
). You do make a fantastic best friend, but I hope that only the most deserving woman gets the "next step up". And it upsets me that you seem quite distraught; if there's anything I can do, please let me know. I have very little to offer in the way of advice on how to avoid heartbreak, however, and I apologize for that. Head up, there are people that love you.
). You do make a fantastic best friend, but I hope that only the most deserving woman gets the "next step up". And it upsets me that you seem quite distraught; if there's anything I can do, please let me know. I have very little to offer in the way of advice on how to avoid heartbreak, however, and I apologize for that. Head up, there are people that love you.