First of all, I'm sorry for the very morbid blog you may be about to read!
So I'm struggling so much these past few weeks. I ended my relationship of 3 years. I know people think, "well you left him so it can't be that upsetting..." Well you're wrong. I feel like every part of my body is crumbling. I'm so tired all of the time and I don't want to leave my bed unless it's to get drunk. The saddest thing is, is that I left him because I wanted to focus on my mental health as it was detoriating again, I wasn't in a good headspace toward the end of our relationship and I could feel that I was taking him down with me. He was angry all the time and we both argued violently. I did it for both of us but I can't bare to see him slip away from my fingers. I keep telling myself he is better off without me but it kills me inside to watch him go out and flourish without me even though that's all I've ever wanted for him. But I'm left here still stuck in the darkest corner of my mind not able to break free of it and he's out there being the best version of himself.
Am I selfish? Probably.
I apologise again for this blog. Didn't have anywhere else to rant on and I guess I don't make too many posts on here 🖤
