I am not sleeping tonight. Thank you spell check. Apparently I did not know how to spell "tonight" until right now. What about the loose way? I could spell it "tonite" -doesn't that mean something? I can be as great as Shakespeare or Sarah Palin if I wanted to. I can make up my own words. Goobley. I feel goobley today. *sigh*
You know, I have been thinking. I have this family reunion coming up this weekend. I haven't been to one since the 90's when I was just a crazy kid chasing ass. Now, I am older and wiser. My thought is this: if I meet some hot chick at the reunion, and she isn't related to me, is it the same as -damn it. What's that word for sleeping with people you are related to? Botulism! That's it. Would it be the same as botulism if I slept with a girl from the reunion who isn't related at all? You see, I would think so. I wouldn't feel right. I would probably be sick to my stomach afterward.
I have a desire to get a dog. I wanted a malamute, but it's a little too big for living in town, really. After I complete college I will move, probably to Florida -who knows? If we all don't die in 2012, I might just buy the biggest boat I can and travel the oceans. I can't swim, I know...but that's kind of what the boat is for. Maybe hook up with some tramps in Australia (no offense to fine Aussy women everywhere) and perhaps maybe possibly find some hardcore hash and play a number on the didgeridoo with a few natives. Hey, are Aborigine's considered minorities? Wouldn't that be the shit. Yeah, so maybe I might stop off at the tropics first. I have no idea what the fuck I would do there. Probably get murdered by some machete-wielding twat with a loin cloth. That really would be my style you know.
So, if anybody reads this, please understand that it keeps me awake. I have a little over 2 hours until I must drive to school. Speaking of that...I got a 89 dollar ticket, plus "fees" which totaled $200. I just laughed at the cop like a punchy teenager after having his balls tickled for the first time. I got 5 points on my license, 1 away from a mandatory "safety driving course". Never got a ticket in my life. Hrm. I miss the German Autobahn. So basically, if I fart in my car and a cop smells it, I get a point and have to be taught how not to drive with a purpose. I am not complaining, just saying that I am confused how I can get only 1 point without going over. Let's see, I was driving 87 in a 55 -I don't know how he came up with that because I was easily doing 100 mph most of the time on cruise. That means, if my math is correct, I need to speed and get fined for driving 5 mph over. Who the fuck will pull me over doing 5 mph over the limit? Besides, I always drive at 15 over or more anyway.
Oh, that reminds me. There are SO MANY old people on the roads in Pennsylvania. When I lived in Florida, I saw old people, but they never got under my skin; I think that they moved along well enough. Not as many as in Pennsylvania. HOLY SHIT. It's like all the elderly decided to live here. And why do they still have drivers licenses at 80? I mean it! My dad is like...I don't know 125 or something, and he still drives like I do. Genius.
So I was at this porn site earlier. They have all kinds of "categories" of pr0n. You know. Don't act like you don't. "Creampie", "big cock", "anal", "asian", "fisting", etc. Then we get to "transvestite". You know, some of those trannies can fool you, no kidding. I didn't have the nerves to watch any vids, but the thumbnails were quite deceiving. You know, like unwrapping that huge Christmas present and finding a tie inside. I had to do a head tilt to the side, you know -and just wonder for a moment. Then it hit me. Transvestites have a butthole. And a penis. And tits. It must be really awesome to masturbate as a tranny.
Let's see. Oh, I can make some hot tea and English muffins. With peanut butter. And raw honey.
You know, I have been thinking. I have this family reunion coming up this weekend. I haven't been to one since the 90's when I was just a crazy kid chasing ass. Now, I am older and wiser. My thought is this: if I meet some hot chick at the reunion, and she isn't related to me, is it the same as -damn it. What's that word for sleeping with people you are related to? Botulism! That's it. Would it be the same as botulism if I slept with a girl from the reunion who isn't related at all? You see, I would think so. I wouldn't feel right. I would probably be sick to my stomach afterward.
I have a desire to get a dog. I wanted a malamute, but it's a little too big for living in town, really. After I complete college I will move, probably to Florida -who knows? If we all don't die in 2012, I might just buy the biggest boat I can and travel the oceans. I can't swim, I know...but that's kind of what the boat is for. Maybe hook up with some tramps in Australia (no offense to fine Aussy women everywhere) and perhaps maybe possibly find some hardcore hash and play a number on the didgeridoo with a few natives. Hey, are Aborigine's considered minorities? Wouldn't that be the shit. Yeah, so maybe I might stop off at the tropics first. I have no idea what the fuck I would do there. Probably get murdered by some machete-wielding twat with a loin cloth. That really would be my style you know.
So, if anybody reads this, please understand that it keeps me awake. I have a little over 2 hours until I must drive to school. Speaking of that...I got a 89 dollar ticket, plus "fees" which totaled $200. I just laughed at the cop like a punchy teenager after having his balls tickled for the first time. I got 5 points on my license, 1 away from a mandatory "safety driving course". Never got a ticket in my life. Hrm. I miss the German Autobahn. So basically, if I fart in my car and a cop smells it, I get a point and have to be taught how not to drive with a purpose. I am not complaining, just saying that I am confused how I can get only 1 point without going over. Let's see, I was driving 87 in a 55 -I don't know how he came up with that because I was easily doing 100 mph most of the time on cruise. That means, if my math is correct, I need to speed and get fined for driving 5 mph over. Who the fuck will pull me over doing 5 mph over the limit? Besides, I always drive at 15 over or more anyway.
Oh, that reminds me. There are SO MANY old people on the roads in Pennsylvania. When I lived in Florida, I saw old people, but they never got under my skin; I think that they moved along well enough. Not as many as in Pennsylvania. HOLY SHIT. It's like all the elderly decided to live here. And why do they still have drivers licenses at 80? I mean it! My dad is like...I don't know 125 or something, and he still drives like I do. Genius.
So I was at this porn site earlier. They have all kinds of "categories" of pr0n. You know. Don't act like you don't. "Creampie", "big cock", "anal", "asian", "fisting", etc. Then we get to "transvestite". You know, some of those trannies can fool you, no kidding. I didn't have the nerves to watch any vids, but the thumbnails were quite deceiving. You know, like unwrapping that huge Christmas present and finding a tie inside. I had to do a head tilt to the side, you know -and just wonder for a moment. Then it hit me. Transvestites have a butthole. And a penis. And tits. It must be really awesome to masturbate as a tranny.
Let's see. Oh, I can make some hot tea and English muffins. With peanut butter. And raw honey.