brokendoll13

Sooo it's like 8 in the morning and i havn't been able to sleep since 6. I don't know what's wrong. Well actually i do...it's because Ian isn't here. We broke up a few days ago...or atleast i think we're done. He's going to move out so that we can have some space apart and try to work on ourselves as individuals. It's just too hard to do this anymore....I'm just sick of the arguing and the constant lack of trust with eachother. It's terrible really, because i do love him. and he he loves me, a lot. We just can't seem to get our shit together. sometimes i wish i could have a guy who will treat me better tho...i mean i really do believe that your partner is a reflection of yourself, so technically I need to treat myself better and then it will be reflected back to me. But why is it that i feel comfortable around everyone else BUT him? and everyone else treats me with respect BUT him. It just seems odd, ovbiously somethings not right there if i feel THAT uncomfortable around my own boyfriend that i subconsiously make him treat me like shit. Altho he tends to treat the majority of people in my life with a certain lack of respect. I dont konw what to do I feel so broken....torn apart. We are soulmates i do believe, but we just...can't make it at this moment i guess.
I guess i'll just have to see what happens...
So other news...i fniished my book keeping course, havn't recieved my mark yet tho. I'm taking payroll and Simply Accounting next month, hopefully we can rent a space by March and have the store open by June! that's another thing....i don't feel motivated around ian to do anything with my life, we just sit around and smoke weed and watch movies. And same thing goes for him...he doesn't do anything around me either....this is probably for the best...it just hurts sooo damn much....
I'm broken.