Tuesday Apr 22, 2003

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Thinking of getting windows xp but dunno. Have to see how much it is and shit. Course a friend has it. smile Anyway, one more day then off thursday. Still have no motivation or inspiration....gotta find a place to live. Gotta start LIVING. I should move to Portland with my bro and the HOME of suicidegirls!! That would rock!
scattershot:
that would rock ... I also have to start living ... but my damn night job is getting in the way... although I think that I am going to attend a good bye house party on friday *knock on wood*
broken_reality:
I couldn't work a nite job. Nitetime is MY time! I did work 10pm-6am once tho to help with inventory. That was pretty cool...one of my co-workers who also helped out said he had been up for like 36 hours. d00d was tripping. hehehehe

Thursday Apr 17, 2003

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Well today was my first day back after a week off. It was uneventful. Mostly clueless customers buying random shit for no purpose other than to spend their money. Saw some cuties since the kids are off school which was nice. Overall a VERY chill day....I did sell the Evanescence CD "Fallen" and told the customer how awesome it is. I always comment when people...
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frankie18:
ok ive been listening to fallen all day. i do this thing when i get a new cd. i listen to it straight for like a week until i feel like i really know the cd. then it goes into rotation. ive been singing everybodys fool all day.
broken_reality:
hehehe I played it for like 3 weeks straight. Ever heard of Bella Morte? I played their new CD "The Quiet" for like a month. smile

Monday Apr 14, 2003

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My thoughts betray me. The demons strengthen their grasp on my soul. The end is near. I don't know how much longer I will last...I mean sometimes I think if I'm gonna die anyway then what does it matter when or if it's by my own hand....I'm gonna go sleep. Escape from this reality if only for a few hours....
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scattershot:
dude writing is a good release ...but cutting yourself? ... I won't pretend to understand cuz thats gotten me into a lot of trouble before .. I'll just say that I hope that hasn't become a habit. I used to write tonnes too but I haven't in a while, now that school is done for the summer maybe I can start up something again.

and yeah I don't want to change either ... but a few people think Im in drastic need of change.

good luck with all this and we're all here for you.
broken_reality:
I cut my wrist back in 1995 late at nite one time...some small cuts but it bled a lot. I was very depressed. Stayed up all nite, slept all day. Did nothing. Didn't care. Full of rage. Ended up in a mental hospital for a couple weeks. I haven't done it again......what kind of stuff do you write? I can't seem to write anything other than sex and violence....

Friday Apr 11, 2003

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I'm taking a week off work. Totally burnt out....have had a great time so far. Smoked some good herb, chilled out. Got my paperwork all caught up. Gonna go out to eat tonite with my bud at this cool mexican place across town...then smoke some more herb (have enuf left for like one more bowl). biggrin
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broken_reality:
I hear that! That's why I told them I stick to weed and sometimes shrooms. Nothing else...
trinityy:
pills are my weakness as well.. weed and pills mmhmm

Wednesday Apr 02, 2003

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d00d I had a cool dream this morning!! There was this huge room like a gym or something FILLED with naked chicks wearing like little pieces of leather and bondage gear. They were all Suicidegirls!! Hundreds of them! I was naked too and with my bro. We went into the room and had to wait to see if one of the girls "chose" us to...
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broken_reality:
truncated I dunno I just feel like my life is going no where. Sometimes I feel like not doing anything cause in the back of my head I'm thinking I'm just gonna kill myself anyway so what's the point....my job is a dead end, my shrink can kiss my ass, etc....

[Edited on Apr 18, 2004 11:41AM]
trinityy:
try and keep your head up!!! pls! i know how you feel. i will talk to you more about this when i see on aim! but pls stay strong and keep your head up!
*big hugs*
trin

Tuesday Apr 01, 2003

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Bought a new CD burner. 52x24x52 jesus it's fast. I burned a 70 min audio disc in about a min. And that was at 48x. Shit I haven't even seen 52x media. wink Anyway, off today. Gotta stop by work to pick up some more slim, clear jewel cases. smile
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trinityy:
yay *takes meds away and grabs you by your hand* lets go!!!!! hehe

i don't really know what kind i am getting i have a hp right now which can suck my right tit and make the left one jealous.
broken_reality:
hahaha sounds like fun to me! Actually I halfed the dose one time to see what would happen. Ended up in the hospital. frown Stupid freaking meds. You should get a Plextor Plexwriter. A little on the expensive side but very reliable drives.

Saturday Mar 29, 2003

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I'm actually off on Saturday. woohoo! Then work Sunday then off Mon. Prolly gonna head over to the mall to try and find some CDs by The Cure. Checked out some Type O Negative on Soulseek but didn't really like it. Hung out with my best bud last nite. We watched "Zombie". Holy crap it was cool. Cheesy as hell but extremely goreified! smile Not feeling...
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opahl:
I'd trade ya, but I really don't like actual porn. Humans are gross creatures. I like to stick to my cartoons. biggrin

I have some hardcore H, but most of it is pinup type stuff. Cute little naked anime girls posing. It's what gets me hot. Tentacles just don't do it for me.
broken_reality:
Cool. smile I have some toons, but they are like way hardcore hehehehehe I'm big into bondage so most of my stuff is pics various young women tied up wink I'm both dom and sub & sadomaso, bondage gets me very aroused. hehehe

Tuesday Mar 18, 2003

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Just watched "The Ring" DVD. Very cool! Wish I had some smoke tho so could have watched it baked. hehehehe
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trinityy:
hey i hope thinsg get better for you if you ever need to get anything out or whatnot you can hit me up with an e-mail i will listen if you need someone. *big hugs*
~trin
try some meditation, writing, exercising...
broken_reality:
Thanks... smile I actually do a lot of writing. Mostly extreme violence and sex. I take meds and they keep me *barely* sane. Tried cutting one of them in half and ended up in the hospital. I mean I hate being dependent on this little pill. I thought all my anger was gone now it seems I've just found new ways to supress it.....

Tuesday Mar 11, 2003

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Gotta go to work soon. Once again they fucked up my schedule. They always forget I can't come in till the afternoon on certain days. Saw my shrink today. Another useless session. I should kill him, stab him repeatedly then just leave as if nothing had happened. Stupid fucking doctors. mad

Sunday Mar 09, 2003

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Gonna watch "Six Feet Under" this evening. Very interesting show. In the mean time prolly watch some trek. Totally tripping off that Evanescence CD. Badass. And still love Bella Morte. Listening to song "Logic" at this very moment. skull Wanna kill somebody, or many people or maybe myself....hmm...mite be fun.

Saturday Mar 08, 2003

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Bought a cool new CD the other day: "Evanescence". Fucking awesome! Almost out of smoke. Have enuf for one more bowl which will be tonite. Still feel like I'm going no where. Like my life is meaningless. Like there is no point. Oh well... frown

Monday Mar 03, 2003

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Got me some smoky smoke. Gonna toke that shit tonite and prolly watch Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker. I don't understand why it wasn't in the theaters. It's a pretty good movie. Part 3 is still my fav tho.
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pureblu12225:
Happy Day to you smile
opahl:
Happy birthday! kiss
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