Humpday. 
I shall preface this entry with a warning that I'm stressed out to the max, broke, irritable, PMSing and just generally foul today. So excuse my cynicism. I'm filled with rage. It will pass.
While I'm on the topic of rage, I got a package last night from Amazon. I opened it to find a small wrapped box, seemingly empty. There was a little card attached that said "Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday from Auntie Liz and Uncle John!!!". If you haven't noticed already, I am of the opinion that merging the two occasions is just about the rudest thing I can think of. Evidently my OWN FAMILY doesn't agree. All I can say is that it had better be 5 $1000 bills.
Moving on.
The above mentioned travesty wasn't the ONLY package I received last night. I also came home to find a large padded envelope with only my name and address on it. I opened it up to find the world's CUTEST bag....and nothing else - no note, no card, no nothing. Now, going on the knowledge that my family wouldn't purchase anything for me without making absolute sure they got full credit for purchasing it, I have come to the suspicion that one of you fabulous SG kids surprised me. If this is true, and said person is reading this right now - THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU. It was the only thing that stopped my entire day yesterday from being TOTAL SHIT. I appreciate it greatly.
And a humongous sloppy open mouth kiss to Chloe, who sent me a trashy holiday card with the neatest stickers EVER on the outside. It cheered me up knowing that the West Coast has me on it's mind.
I've made a descision that my five favorite SGs will, from today forward, be reserved for the ladies I want to have my way with - as opposed to the ladies I'm all friendly-like with (although they may indeed fall into BOTH categories). Because knowing you're my friend is enough - I don't need to broadcast our friendship as the header to my journal. So, if you see yourself up atop my friends list, consider it an open invitation to join my fianc and myself in the boudoir.
Send me good vibes, kids. And have a HAPPY day.
3 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY.....
I shall preface this entry with a warning that I'm stressed out to the max, broke, irritable, PMSing and just generally foul today. So excuse my cynicism. I'm filled with rage. It will pass.
While I'm on the topic of rage, I got a package last night from Amazon. I opened it to find a small wrapped box, seemingly empty. There was a little card attached that said "Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday from Auntie Liz and Uncle John!!!". If you haven't noticed already, I am of the opinion that merging the two occasions is just about the rudest thing I can think of. Evidently my OWN FAMILY doesn't agree. All I can say is that it had better be 5 $1000 bills.
Moving on.
The above mentioned travesty wasn't the ONLY package I received last night. I also came home to find a large padded envelope with only my name and address on it. I opened it up to find the world's CUTEST bag....and nothing else - no note, no card, no nothing. Now, going on the knowledge that my family wouldn't purchase anything for me without making absolute sure they got full credit for purchasing it, I have come to the suspicion that one of you fabulous SG kids surprised me. If this is true, and said person is reading this right now - THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU. It was the only thing that stopped my entire day yesterday from being TOTAL SHIT. I appreciate it greatly.
And a humongous sloppy open mouth kiss to Chloe, who sent me a trashy holiday card with the neatest stickers EVER on the outside. It cheered me up knowing that the West Coast has me on it's mind.
I've made a descision that my five favorite SGs will, from today forward, be reserved for the ladies I want to have my way with - as opposed to the ladies I'm all friendly-like with (although they may indeed fall into BOTH categories). Because knowing you're my friend is enough - I don't need to broadcast our friendship as the header to my journal. So, if you see yourself up atop my friends list, consider it an open invitation to join my fianc and myself in the boudoir.
Send me good vibes, kids. And have a HAPPY day.
3 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY.....
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
OFFICIAL Fight Club insult post
what the fuck is wrong w/cynicism? why are you forcing happiness?
you are the all singing crap of the world.
get used to it. you are too..fucking chipperly hopeful.. oh and..
Get The Fuck Off My Porch!!!