brisen

I hope not to go off topic , I wanted to write this blog for a long time !
What I want to tell you dates back to last year .
Just last year my application was accepted here . I couldn't hold back the enthusiasm I wanted to try here on SG for years...
So i told it to all my friends!! I will explain why , but I'm very insecure , and this thing always makes me too justify my choices and my actions to people... I thought " maybe I said something too much or wrong "...or mabye people suck...
I started to be the victim of cyber bullying by a group of guys in my area .
They wrote me in every post of mine that i was " a slut " and other insults , also very heavy, they say me I would have to kill myself...I asked for explanations about mutual friends to understand why all this hatred towards me . I didn't understand their own...
you'll find it's stupid , but I suffered much .
Yes...because at hight school I was bullied, just because I liked having sex ! 
That doesn't sound horrible. 
Sex is beautiful, natural and it should be pleasant, AND IT'S NORMAL THAT A WOMAN LIKE IT DO IT ! But no, for my class mates i was a slut...because I don't need a man to be my partner for have sex with!
Obviously the rumors became bigger and bigger, I was complicit in amazing sexual exploits that  I had never done, but I was on the lips of many people. the thing that makes me laugh the most is that I had only one relationship with a person of my school ... the last two months of the last year...and he was afraid because "everyone say that you are a slut..." (really? -.-") <br>(No one in my high school has ever tried to court me) such as in the easy girl movie!
I wasn't ready to see history repeat itself! also because for me this has been a difficult year ...
for those people I lost most of my friends , so i have the proved that they were only smalls worms spineless.
When I started to work as a model didn't have much time to go out , so I happened overnight that a person dear to me insulted me for no reason...only because i like pose naked.
So... i like my body after A LOT of self esteem problems, after anorexia, and other horrible things that are in my stupid brain. And i don't feel like a whore, i feel like a Warrior! 
I understand that thing the first time I went out in a long time...Apparently for them it was very easy to insult me behind , or through a computer. People in live have a shitty face, they hug and say hello , and after you go they stab you in the back!
Finally , I'm still here on Suicide Girls . I love this comunituy and only because of this I found many girls who have been marginalized like me or insulted by little people ! we made strength and took well and somehow we became friends overcoming all problems and obstacles ! I lost a lot of old friends , it is true , but the new ones are more beautiful , colorful and warrior just like me <3
It's a boring blog, I'm aware of, but I could not do a "mute day 2" because yesterday I did nothing (i think i'll do 2 an3 together) and then I hope that my story can give a little ' comfort to someone who maybe is passing the same thing. 
We must be strong , people often are cruel because they would like to have our courage !
especially here in Italy the males are very misogynistic and many girls, models, or uninhibited people are treated badly, marginalized.
I suffer lot for various mental disorders and I admit that sometimes certain criticism becomes so heavy that a person really thinks seriously about suicide.
we should not joke about these things, and we should all be more friendly and open with others, because we do not know how many battles being fought.
as for me, if those people dare to call me a slut behind I'll be glad I wore my heaviest amphibians to give it a nice kick in the balls.
Usually i'm against violence ...... but in this case maybe I'd exception!
(oh yes, google have to sorry for the very shitty translation.....)