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brinly

San Francisco/Seattle

Hopeful Since 2008

Followers 2264 Following 1837

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Saturday Feb 19, 2011

Feb 19, 2011
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I've been thinking about doing SG for three years now... I have so many fears about letting down those who I care about, job opportunities, etc. Fear has held me back from doing things I love in the past. I devoted this year to two things: Going back and finishing all the half completed projects in my life, and facing my fears.

What I want most out of life is to constantly re-think who I am and push other to so the same. To always strive to learn more about the world we live in and the people in it. That starts with me.

I have been selfish this year. I am weighed down with a million classes at school and have little time for friends or family. It's one last semester of total dedication before I can take a breather. I think the word "selfish" has a negative connotation and wrongly so. If you never think about yourself how can you reflect or grow? The self should be first in many areas of your life.

I'm super body conscience. I have always dreamed to be a tiny girl with petite bones everyone refers to as a baby bird. My personality is so large my size was going to be a way to feel feminine. I have sadly come to realize I will never be one of those tiny women. My cross to bear and I struggle with it on a daily basis.

Frankly I am tired of making myself ill over nutrition. Starving, bingeing, purging, counting, cleansing, obsessing, hiding, covering up, lying... I am who I am. I am beautiful in this body. I will force myself to be confident in this body.

I HAVE A GOAL: I set this goal last year and watched as it passed right on by... but this year for my 23rd birthday I will have a set shot. I'm not sure if I will post it as a SG hopeful yet or not. But the first step is taking the pictures at all. I end the semester in June so that gives me a few months to lose some weight and grow some balls (so to speak).

I've taken some pictures. I'll post them here just for myself really. I want myself to know that I am proud of who I am. I don't have a perfect body or perfect skin or perfect hair and I still love me. These are the first pictures I have ever had of my body undressed. I took them myself with no one around. Baby steps to exclaiming, "here I am world"!














This blog was inspired by Radeo Suicide and her video on the Feb 16th blog. I love to buy bras and undies. I loved how fun she made her video for showing hers off smile Thank you for being so beautiful and sharing yourself with SG.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
moralee:
Be comfortable in ur skin.. ur beautiful!!
Feb 21, 2011
brinly:
Thank you all so much for the encouragement. I have lots to think about. Either way come June, I'm going to shoot a set. You only live once. It's gotta be your own life.
Feb 22, 2011

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