I've recently been thinking a lot about a certain person that has let me down. This person spent many many hours filling my head with wonderful nonsense and then yanked the rug out from under my feet without notice. Well I guess with some notice, but it still was not enough for me to land on my feet before I fell on my ass. It is just a complete and total shock when someone that I thought was a friend changes into a repugnant asshole that has a total disregard to how others feel. I never once thought this person would be the type to turn their back after so many promises and extended conversations. I suppose that this is the way that it turns out. So now if I can quote Ani "I'm the jerk with the heartache." Time has passed some though so I have come to terms with it all and I will continue to spit that nasty taste from my mouth slowly. It's just horrible to realize how bittersweet something like this can be. Did I not expect this? Did I not by chance know that I couldn't get what I hoped for? I Suppose that my stupid rose-tinted glasses got in the way once again and made me see things without a clear head. Yeah yeah all that 20-20 shit comes to my mind about it being caused.... blah blah blah. So now I just put away all evidence of the defector's existence and try to move on with my life. I have done a rather solid job of filling my time that was left gaping. My stranger has a way of keeping me distracted from the many things that impede my mind. Oh the well, shit rollers will steam on and the stench will become less and less as it does...
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