i'm to the point where like everything is just so dissapointing to me and makes me sick. i'm happy and all. just sick of everything and just it is hard to come to realization that everything isn't as perfect as it seemed liek it did. People don't act the same way they used to. maybe its that i have changed as a person and i see things different and shit just sux. i feel like people that knew me or "got" me, don't anymore.
LIfe is hard right now. everyday i'm like "okay bri, what are you going to do wiht your life". i totally thought i had everything figured out for after high school. but i don't . the time came and shit sux. money sux. if i had money i'd be in makeup school in LA right now and not living like a bum. but no
shit's expensive. Theres things that i feel like i need and shit that i feel like that will make me happy thats freaking expensive shit. my mom wants to redo the downstairs( where my bedroom is) and her just asking me, how long i'm going be living at home just bothers me. i don't know. there is so much i want to do but don't know where to start. i know to take one day at a time and to do this and that. and to take advice people give. i'm just confused i guess. there is also a school in PA (?) thats cheaper and one of my friends is going so maybe i'll go there for a year. i don't know i wish i had a crystal ball with answers. not even that just more of a path, i guess. i alway feel like my mind is everywhere at once. i come so close to going insane. and i feel like some times i 'm an asshole to people that i love. i hate that shit. i feel so bad. i bullshit strangers all day and i'm a dick to my love ones.
and then my job. so i love my job and i love the money and the girls i work wiht, but i know i deserve better . i've worked at better salons, i just didnt' know what i'd be doing for school and if it would be pointless to train somewhere make shit money, then move. my emotions lately have been up and down. i'm just rethinking everything. i don't know what happened its like i grew up in five mintes and didn't like my surroundings or somehting. all i know is somethings gotta change.
LIfe is hard right now. everyday i'm like "okay bri, what are you going to do wiht your life". i totally thought i had everything figured out for after high school. but i don't . the time came and shit sux. money sux. if i had money i'd be in makeup school in LA right now and not living like a bum. but no
shit's expensive. Theres things that i feel like i need and shit that i feel like that will make me happy thats freaking expensive shit. my mom wants to redo the downstairs( where my bedroom is) and her just asking me, how long i'm going be living at home just bothers me. i don't know. there is so much i want to do but don't know where to start. i know to take one day at a time and to do this and that. and to take advice people give. i'm just confused i guess. there is also a school in PA (?) thats cheaper and one of my friends is going so maybe i'll go there for a year. i don't know i wish i had a crystal ball with answers. not even that just more of a path, i guess. i alway feel like my mind is everywhere at once. i come so close to going insane. and i feel like some times i 'm an asshole to people that i love. i hate that shit. i feel so bad. i bullshit strangers all day and i'm a dick to my love ones.
and then my job. so i love my job and i love the money and the girls i work wiht, but i know i deserve better . i've worked at better salons, i just didnt' know what i'd be doing for school and if it would be pointless to train somewhere make shit money, then move. my emotions lately have been up and down. i'm just rethinking everything. i don't know what happened its like i grew up in five mintes and didn't like my surroundings or somehting. all i know is somethings gotta change.
we all do go through all this crap feelings u know
i must say from what u wrote there u r doing quite fine
acctualy
sooner than u think things start to get arranged.... ull see
ciao