Things NOT To Do when you suffer from severe Anxiety.
Got to your sisters house for your neices christening, cook for 6 straight hours at a fervent pace, dont eat, drink only alcohol, at your first break sneak outside and get high, way too high(with your dads girlfriend), wait about 3 minutes(should feel like a jackhammer ripping through your chest, realize you are on the verge of a catastrophic(#4 or 5 of all time) Panic Attack, try and seek shelter in a house full of your sisters inlaws and their kids, curl up in a ball, realize youre in worse trouble than you can handle, clutch mobile phone readying yourself for the 911 call, barely make it downstairs, somehow warn your mother of impending doom (while not revealing the getting high nor the source part) make it back upstairs, lie down and watch your mother at the end of the bed try and give you breathing techniques whilst your brain spirals deeper and deeper into the great abyss, start to realize that you may very well be one or two stations away from getting off @ the last stop, clench every muscle in your depleted body and hang on to that fucking strap because this subway might even derail, have your mother leave, reaffirm grip to mobile phone, have your sister come up with your neice and somehow leave you, dumbfounded, with your 1 year old neice, somehow gather all your shit, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO, and cuddle this innnocent, helpless, beautiful creature and realize that she might actually want to meet me some day, when your sister returns you gently pass your neice back as if nothing had happened, continue the mental rollercoaster for another 1 1/2 hours using your neice as that little strand of hope and desire that you can cling on to, eventually realize that you have to beat this or you will be forever remembered and thats it just remembered, finally take control of your breathing and your heart rate follows, return to party and pretend like nothing happened.
AHHH the joy of self medication. Will I ever learn?
Got to your sisters house for your neices christening, cook for 6 straight hours at a fervent pace, dont eat, drink only alcohol, at your first break sneak outside and get high, way too high(with your dads girlfriend), wait about 3 minutes(should feel like a jackhammer ripping through your chest, realize you are on the verge of a catastrophic(#4 or 5 of all time) Panic Attack, try and seek shelter in a house full of your sisters inlaws and their kids, curl up in a ball, realize youre in worse trouble than you can handle, clutch mobile phone readying yourself for the 911 call, barely make it downstairs, somehow warn your mother of impending doom (while not revealing the getting high nor the source part) make it back upstairs, lie down and watch your mother at the end of the bed try and give you breathing techniques whilst your brain spirals deeper and deeper into the great abyss, start to realize that you may very well be one or two stations away from getting off @ the last stop, clench every muscle in your depleted body and hang on to that fucking strap because this subway might even derail, have your mother leave, reaffirm grip to mobile phone, have your sister come up with your neice and somehow leave you, dumbfounded, with your 1 year old neice, somehow gather all your shit, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO, and cuddle this innnocent, helpless, beautiful creature and realize that she might actually want to meet me some day, when your sister returns you gently pass your neice back as if nothing had happened, continue the mental rollercoaster for another 1 1/2 hours using your neice as that little strand of hope and desire that you can cling on to, eventually realize that you have to beat this or you will be forever remembered and thats it just remembered, finally take control of your breathing and your heart rate follows, return to party and pretend like nothing happened.
AHHH the joy of self medication. Will I ever learn?
20 minutes in the rain. Try 6hrs in the airport
[Edited on Jul 14, 2004 5:54PM]