So, life is just constantly weird and unsettling. I feel like as soon as I feel complacent or normal again, something else just pops up. Like I am juggling all this energy which I have no control over. And, I need to accept it, so I can compartmentalize it in my mind and let it disappear. Is that just a fancy way of saying ignore it? Na, I don't think so. I just don't want to stay on the past and need to focus on my being in the present.
last night we had a video shoot and converted my living room into a karaoke bar. Ended up staying up super late drinking vodka, singing bad karaoke all night. My bass player Mary kept singing Smash Mouth's Allstar to every single song, it was amazing how well it went with most pop songs. (and Rhianna) Oh god, she just called me and I found out our PR company needs this video by Sunday. So that kind of haves me flippin, though most of the music video is done. Most of it is animation that i have been working on since the beginning of the year, so i am stoked to see it go into fruition.
Last night was fun, but i am a little dehydrated today. blah.
I just got into Grace & Frankie on Netflix. It is cute. I have always had a fear of old age, but I am getting closer and closer. My parents are getting closer and closer, and that scares me. Letting go of the ones you love. When I was a kid, I thought I would be married with chiltrenz at this moment in time. But, I chose a different course. Dont get me wrong, I want love, I want love badly. But, it is just not happening for me right now. And that is chill. All I need is my mind, soul, and body. And, I need to focus on taking care of all of that. I have lovely people around me that care about it, though sometimes it is hard to tell peoples true intentions. But i feel i can trust the ones i have been friends and homies with of over 10 years. Those are the solid people.
I have some friends from my hometown that are visiting today. And these girls like to drink. I don't know if I can hangout, though I want to. I need to squeeze out this video.
So, I think I am going to get prescribed a pill that blunts the buzz of alcohol, to help me cut back on drinking. Here is the article:
A Medicine That Blunts The Buzz Of Alcohol Can Help Drinkers Cut Back
Sounds interesting. I talked to my therapist about it and she recommended me to a phycologist that could write me a prescription for it. I just want this, because I know once I start drinking, if people are still going and there is alcohol, I won't stop. I think i need to put the wild man back in his cage.
I have been painting a lot more again, I have to get ready for a show next month that is based on my street art. I am always so busy, but that is good. It makes for less time for me to get in trouble. I love painting. oh man, they are play and old wolf parade song, it is called "you are a runner and i am my fathers son." Wolf Parade is a blast from my past. <3
Check it out! I love having KEXP here in Seattle. I mean, it doesn't always play super awesome music, but it is eclectic and versatile. Which is lovely. I am honored that my band has been played on the station. I love it.
Here is a flyer I made for our next Troublemakers Drink N Draw at Revolver.
I am very stoked, I love my art club. So many sick individuals. I will end on love. I love this sick world and ill people. It hurts me when I see us self destructing and hurting the earth. Take care of yourself and love yourself. Love.
