One universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas...and I had the privilege to meet you.
Kind of crazy when you think about it. With all of that going on, the odds of meeting that one person out there who is your counterpoint. The yin to your yang, the butter to your toast, the peanut budda to your jelly.
I have been through the ringer, my heart has been on an emotional roller coaster that has put me through a lot of great times coupled with a lot of bullshit. You all have read many of those accounts first hand, almost experiencing them with me, giving me love and support. I cannot even begin to put into words the gratitude that I feel towards those of you who have offered me love, encouragement and wisdom in both the highs and lows of the tribulations of my heart.
A special thank you needs to go out to my some of my best friends who have dealt with every single high and low. My hysterical phone calls, my crazy texting rants, and who were literally there for me when I was in the throws of the hardest depression that I could ever imagine. You literally gave me the strength at times to get out of bed in the morning when I just wanted to shrivel up and forget about the world. You are constantly encouraging me to shine and sparkle, always pushing me to be the best me I can me and giving me the strength to move forward with my head high, whether you know it or not, you have each saved me in some way. Alicee, Ackley, Milloux,Kemper, Patton,...I owe you so much for helping me see my own self worth when I didn't know it was there.
A friend is the one who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten it.
I love you guys!
Side note: I have been CRANKING Cher Llyod lately....every time that I hear this song I can't help but feel that its oddly appropriate...
All right, now, onto more fun conversation, VEGAS SHOOTFESTTTTT! Yaaaa buddy! I am so effing excited! Alicee and I have been planning this fro months now. I am so excited that it is finally just around the corner. This means not only am I having the opportunity to shoot several new sets, but I get to see some of my best friends on the planet. I could not be more happy. I am sure the shenanigans that will go down are going to follow the good ol adage of "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".
This trip is going to be one for the history books for sure. I booked my flight yesterday....eeee! I tear shit up when I'm in Vegas so I am sure that this trip is not going to disappoint. All I can say to to stay tuned for an amazing update afterwards and some epic sets....one of which will include ass tons of glitter and a champagne shower...fuck yes. I am equally excited about the fact that once I am finished going Vegas wild with my girls, I will be able to unwind for a couple days in sunny orange county before heading back to the daily grind.
Next, let me preface this by saying, I love my family dearly, but they are driving me absolutely insane...I forgot why I moved away initially. I can't handle dealing with this anymore. I can't continue to work with them at this point, the double standard that I am held to compared to other people that I work with is making me bonkers. I think taking the break from the industry and the company kind of made me look back with rose colored glasses. Also, living in the same city as my family is proving to be trying as well. They are always up in my personal business as well as my professional work life. I am already sick of it, it is slowly ruining my relationship with them (at least on my end) and I need to move on....phew, that made me feel better to get out of my system.
That being said, I am planning a HUGE move. I am going to be packing up my life yet again, and moving to Las Vegas. I am nervous, but extremely excited. I am working on getting a job lined up for myself out there and am going to be living with my boocakes Alicee, at least temporarily until I get stabilized out there. So far it seems like my moving date is going to be March 1st. I'm actively looking for bartending positions and have been reaching out to my friends in the area to keep their ears open for me. The fantastic thing is that not only am I going to get to be with one of my best friends, but also cost of living is cheaper out there (woop woop!), income for bartenders is pretty amazing, and I will be very close to Orange County. I can spend my weekends there with my friends/dude, thats a very exciting prospect. I will be able to work one job, make enough income, and go to school....right now working 70-80 hours a week is really wearing on me and I have zero time to make the leap into my education. The long term plan is to work, save my money, and do school. Once I am at a point in both my finances and my education I will move back into Orange County and get a position at a rehabilitation facility out there (I am going to school to be a substance abuse counselor). So, its the beginning of another adventure for me, and I cannot wait for it to begin.
My birthday is coming up in less than a month...wtf is that?? I am going to be 24...where the fuck did 21-23 go??? Time is flying the fuck by. Wow. Well....if anyone wants to get me a birthday present I would be stoked...Bradley's Wishlist
Also, remember me new set, Home, shot in Venice by Milloux will be hitting a computer screen near you in member review February 11th! 2 days before my birfday!
All right, not I have a rant to go on, about something really dumb but I want to know if I am in the minority on this, as I assume I am...do I make any sense in my argument....
I recently saw a post on someones instagram that read as follows:
If I had to give an account of my ideal romantic story it would be that of Bonnie and Clyde. They had one anothers backs until the very end. They died being ambushed by 4 police officers. When the first headshot ended Clyde's life it is said that Bonnie could be heard screaming in agony at the loss of her lover. Its also said that the bullet that took Bonnie's life has first passed through the body of Clyde. Maybe my idea of romance is a little more true to the original definition, but you can keep your Disney ideals. I want someone who shares my pain until the end.
Okay...reading this shit made me want to punch my phone in the face (I know that isnt possible but you get what I;m saying). The post was followed by all of these chicks saying "Ya fuck Disney romances, I'm ride or die, Bonnie and Clyde for life" type shit. To me these types of thoughts and posts are a complete bastardization of this story.
Let me break it down.
On the surface Bonnie and Clyde do look like this great romantic story (all of the murder and outlaw behavior aside, which I am going to choose to leave alone because thats a whole different rant). I am a history buff, especially when it comes to stories like this, so I chose to educate myself on the actual story of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. I now look at their tale and see nothing but a very sad girl who made really bad decisions and guy who really used and manipulated her. I see nothing but a very dysfunctional relationship....
Bonnie Parker, after meeting Clyde, fell in lust. She wanted love and a relationship so badly that she would change everything about who she was and what she wanted for the first guy who gave her a glimpse of that.
On top of her having a lack of a father figure (her dad passed away when Bonnie was 4) Bonnie got married at 16 years old, when that marriage did not work because her husband constantly abandoned her she found another man who she dated briefly, getting his name tattooed on her arm during that time, that relationship didn't last long either. This is when she met Clyde. So at this point Bonnie already has a history of jumping into a relationship and making rash decisions all because she wants to feel loved and cared for.
Bonnie meets Clyde and not only gives up her life as she knows it, turns to a life of crime because its what Clyde wants. Clyde tried to "go straight" for a couple weeks and got a real job, decided very quickly that it was for him and hopped right back into his life of crime with Bonnie trailing right behind him. If he was so in love with Bonnie why would he drag her into a life like that? #1.
Clyde lands himself in Jail. Bonnie visits him nonstop and writes him everyday. Then breaks him out of jail. Keep in mind, later on down the road when Bonnie ends up in jail due to crimes she committed with Clyde, does Clyde repay these favors? Write and visit Bonnie? Try and brake her out of jail? Nope. Hmmm...I;m seeing a pattern here.
I am not saying that Clyde didn't care for Bonnie, I am sure that he did on some level, but I am the type of person that thinks that love should be reciprocal and I do not see that in this story. I see a girl who was so lonely and wanted a relationship so badly that she would give up everything about herself in order to have it, and a man who wasn't willing to give up anything for her. I see a man who saw that this girl was easily manipulated into doing anything that he wanted and took advantage of it, I can't even blame him for it, after all he was a crook and a con, it was ingrained into his DNA so to speak.
I personally would much rather have a Disney type of relationship than a dysfunctional relationship like this. Look at Ariel and Eric, they fell in love with each other and each were willing to give up everything they had to keep the other safe, I think that's a whole lot closer to love than Bonnie and Clyde...at least closer to the type of love that I want to find.
Personally I think that this story is just a buzz word at the moment. Its "cool" to say I don't want a Disney Fairytale I want something badass like Bonnie and Clyde...well homey, I hate to say it, but you sound like an asshat. You're a hipster who is trying to say "fuck the norm" by making the same exact reference as every other hipster on the planet. Please, go get some more owl swag and drink more fireball whiskey, I have no time for your shenanigans and skinny jeans.
A brazilian composer once wrote a text about friendship. A part of the text says:
"And I could bear, though not without pain, that all of my loves had died, but I'd be driven insane if all of my friends died!"
Maybe this fragment may seem a bit dark, but the text is quite beautiful.
I'm glad that you had friends, true friends, to be there for you and pick you up when you were down - to collect your pieces when you feel shattered, rebuild you and help you feel whole again.
And double as glad to know you've found your soul mate. I wish you to nothing short of a lifetime - actually, scratch "a lifetime" and replace it with "an eternity" - of joy, health and love.
As for the distance thing... It is hard indeed - I live far from my fiance as well. But I believe that when two people truly love each other, they make it work, even from a distance.
I don't know if this is any help for you, but I've been with my fiance for 2 years and we're gonna get married in April. We made it work during these 2 years and, soon, distance won't be an obstacle for us anymore. So I'm entirely sure you can make it work as well. All the best for you two!
I hope you have a hell of an awesome time in Vegas! And I mean a "ride a robot-tyrannosaurus into outer space while carrying swords, shooting lasers out of your eyes" level of awesome.
Seeing how excited you are for that trip, I think you'll have such an awesime time there indeed.
Good luck dealing with your family issues, I hope you can get that sorted out somehow. And the best of luck in your professional endeavors! It's really interesting that you're aiming to be a substance abuse counselor - do you mind if I ask what made you make this decision for your career? No special reason for asking, I'm just curious, it's the first time I see someone who wants to work in this area.
As for the whole Bonnie and Clyde thing... Your argument is spot-on. I think that some people prefer to just throw any witty remark to try and sound different from others than to do actual research on what they're talking about... Maybe if these people who think of Bonnie and Clyde as some kind of example of true love would actually do some research on them, they'd come to the same conclusion as you did.
I love this post about the bonnie and clyde relationship. This is a great blog and you are an amazing writer. I'm all for the disney relationship too, I always said one day I wanted to get married at disney world. Unfortunately, I tend to be a sucker and the bonnie and clyde story sounds more real to me than the disney princess story. Thanks for sharing. I loved the read!
. 
"And I could bear, though not without pain, that all of my loves had died, but I'd be driven insane if all of my friends died!"
Maybe this fragment may seem a bit dark, but the text is quite beautiful.
I'm glad that you had friends, true friends, to be there for you and pick you up when you were down - to collect your pieces when you feel shattered, rebuild you and help you feel whole again.
And double as glad to know you've found your soul mate. I wish you to nothing short of a lifetime - actually, scratch "a lifetime" and replace it with "an eternity" - of joy, health and love.
As for the distance thing... It is hard indeed - I live far from my fiance as well. But I believe that when two people truly love each other, they make it work, even from a distance.
I don't know if this is any help for you, but I've been with my fiance for 2 years and we're gonna get married in April. We made it work during these 2 years and, soon, distance won't be an obstacle for us anymore. So I'm entirely sure you can make it work as well. All the best for you two!
I hope you have a hell of an awesome time in Vegas! And I mean a "ride a robot-tyrannosaurus into outer space while carrying swords, shooting lasers out of your eyes" level of awesome.
Seeing how excited you are for that trip, I think you'll have such an awesime time there indeed.
Good luck dealing with your family issues, I hope you can get that sorted out somehow. And the best of luck in your professional endeavors! It's really interesting that you're aiming to be a substance abuse counselor - do you mind if I ask what made you make this decision for your career? No special reason for asking, I'm just curious, it's the first time I see someone who wants to work in this area.
As for the whole Bonnie and Clyde thing... Your argument is spot-on. I think that some people prefer to just throw any witty remark to try and sound different from others than to do actual research on what they're talking about... Maybe if these people who think of Bonnie and Clyde as some kind of example of true love would actually do some research on them, they'd come to the same conclusion as you did.