Holy Crap it has been a long time since I have updated this. SO this might be a little long for people.
I finished my captains course and now all I have to do is apply for my license and then I should get it. That will be nice to have even if I never use it, it will help me get better jobs on the water.
Jill still hasn't talked to me about the email I sent her, so im sure that she is pretty pissed off. But there isnt much I can do about that it is just how I feel.
So my friend Curtis' roommate told me that curtis likes me. He is really cute which is cool, but I kinda think he is a little loose sexually. Anytime im out in public and he is with me he always points out ex's of his. So I dont think I want to go there. Also Im jealous of the lesbians that I hang out with because they are so cute and have such a good relationship. And it sucks cause I have no body to be with.
Thats another thing that I realized the other day. Ok some background first. Im bisexual. So the other day I was watching April and Rachel the previously mentioned lesbians and I just was jealous of how they hold each other and interact with each other. I realized that I could never feel comfortable doing that with another guy. I need a woman. Someone soft and feminine, someone that I can feel like the protector to. Thats what I miss most about Jill. I dont feel like the rock, the should to cry on, the protector. I dont have anyone to be that to anymore. Sexually I could be with a man but emotionally I think I can only be with a woman.
So i have some big decisions to make in my life. I can stay in juneau and get a four year degree. I can stay until I get an associates and then move to Portland. I can move to Portland in the Fall. Or I can stay here and get my associates and the join the Military Sealift Command and become a professional sailor. I just dont know what to choose but im sure life will work out its own choice. They all have + and - to them so it is a really hard choice.
Any way that is all that is going on with me. I would love to hear from some people. Im thinking about getting my nipples pierced, what do you think about this idea.
Later
I finished my captains course and now all I have to do is apply for my license and then I should get it. That will be nice to have even if I never use it, it will help me get better jobs on the water.
Jill still hasn't talked to me about the email I sent her, so im sure that she is pretty pissed off. But there isnt much I can do about that it is just how I feel.
So my friend Curtis' roommate told me that curtis likes me. He is really cute which is cool, but I kinda think he is a little loose sexually. Anytime im out in public and he is with me he always points out ex's of his. So I dont think I want to go there. Also Im jealous of the lesbians that I hang out with because they are so cute and have such a good relationship. And it sucks cause I have no body to be with.
Thats another thing that I realized the other day. Ok some background first. Im bisexual. So the other day I was watching April and Rachel the previously mentioned lesbians and I just was jealous of how they hold each other and interact with each other. I realized that I could never feel comfortable doing that with another guy. I need a woman. Someone soft and feminine, someone that I can feel like the protector to. Thats what I miss most about Jill. I dont feel like the rock, the should to cry on, the protector. I dont have anyone to be that to anymore. Sexually I could be with a man but emotionally I think I can only be with a woman.
So i have some big decisions to make in my life. I can stay in juneau and get a four year degree. I can stay until I get an associates and then move to Portland. I can move to Portland in the Fall. Or I can stay here and get my associates and the join the Military Sealift Command and become a professional sailor. I just dont know what to choose but im sure life will work out its own choice. They all have + and - to them so it is a really hard choice.
Any way that is all that is going on with me. I would love to hear from some people. Im thinking about getting my nipples pierced, what do you think about this idea.
Later
Do what thou wilt!
xxx