boundcreature

When I was ten years old I discovered The Mighty Thor and I suddenly knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Fourteen years later and it just isn't that simple (well, some would say it is, just take out a pencil and some paper and start -- but it isn't). I got caught up in the whirlwind of trying to survive and prosper and learn in a couple of artistic disciplines amongst a selection of colleagues for whom Madame Quality was an uninvited party-crasher.

When I was twenty-one years old the superhero interests had long since faded, but the desire for comics (specifically autobiographical work) remained. I met the two writer/artists who created the only comics that were grabbing me right by the heart at the time: Paul Hornschemeir and Nick Bertozzi (the latter, discovered through the web-based envangelism/activism of warrenellis). I learned from them that their books sold just enough to cover printing costs and that it was necessary for them to keep jobs as graphic artists (freelance or otherwise).

It led me to thinking that I hated my job, I had learned as much as I could learn in that location and was only making about $8.50 / hour. It seemed that I would have to learn graphic design to at least keep me within my wits while I earned enough money to draw at night. But, I never do anything half-assed, so I commited the next three years of my life to teaching myself graphic design...

and now, I am a self-taught graphic designer who can't get a studio job because I need to learn some software and my working method is too rugged and can't be comfortable in a sign shop job because I am far too overqualified. And, really, I don't want to do any of those things, I just want to tell stories with words and pictures!

Sometimes though, it is that easy. You just stop. You take a minute, survey your environment and make some decisions. In the last three years, my skills as an illustrator which had grown steadily until I was twenty-one, atrophied to the point where the craftsmanship started to recede and the confidence was nowhere to be found. Further, three years of battling block-headed owners and clients has left me worn and bitter and unwilling to go three more years at sign shops while I come up to speed in illustration...

So, I'm just gonna pull the fucking wheel and drive it off the goddamn road. Go back to College. The last thing anyone who has ever had a conversation with me would expect me to do.

Is it about the degree? Fuck no. I mean, in part, yes, if I go for three years I had damn well better get a graphic design degree, just so I don't end up in the same situation three years from now. But really, I'm going to find myself as an illustrator. I'm gonna stop the bullshit battles that clog up my brainspace all day and night and focus on working hard and drawing constantly. I am going to pursue degrees in illustration and graphic design at the same time; hopefully preparing a hybrid curriculum that culminates in the creation of my first major comics work as a final project before graduation.

By 2008, I can be free of the compromises with the sign industry and confident in my abilities to simplify: to grab a pencil and some paper and create the worlds that are in my head.

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Thanks to everyone who commented on the last entry. I'm not positive of what I will do, I may even keep this account active and just scale it back to the people I will need to keep in touch with and check it out weekly. Who knows...