boounz

What do I do now ?

Today was the day of the interview to get or not in the first year of a Cinema Master. We had to get our applications finished by the end of May. Answers came in last week, I had to go to an interview with some guy from the Master program.
It was supposed to be this morning at 11A.M. I got in at 11:50AM. Yeah, I've waited in a corridor for fifty minutes. I passed time reading what the program of the year, pinned on the walls, would be. It was so long I was sending texts to everybody like "It's too long, I want to wreck a door" "Let me break something" etc... People answered quickly "Stay calm" "Be patient" "It will go down all right". I started imagining the teacher and the girl before me fucking slash practising dirty sexual stuff to let her get into the master.
It was finally my turn and they seemed clean. It didn't smell like sex in the room. The girl seemed desperate. I started to have a bad foreboding and butterflies in my stomach but fuck it, I had been waiting for almost an hour, it was time to shine. I was wearing my best Lindsay Lohan t-shirt that got me some flirtatious compliments on the way back home, how could it fail ?

First, the guy said : "O.K. I'm a moviemaker, I'm interested in making movies". I knew him but as he was fishing for recognition, I just said I had never heard of him before. He seemed offended. I like being an asshole sometimes, I guess I shouldn't have this time. Oh well. He made several movies, it's true, they all look like France 3 Region made for TV movies. For the 2 non-french people reading it : it means it looks like shit.
He was apparently just discovering what was in my application as he asked me things that were written in it. We talked about the infamous letter I sent them about the fucked up administration in this bitch ass university etc... The fact that I had not followed certain classes, and I explained why in this letter, was a problem. I explained again. Then he asked me if I really wanted to make movies, I said yes, if I had wanted to be an accountant, it would have already been done.
He also said nice things like I write very well, I know some "mechanisms" and shit and that I wouldn't learn much more things in the university. That what they were proposing wasn't what I needed. I don't know if it's because I'm too good for them or if it's just that they don't want an asshole that won't kiss their asses everyday. I really don't know.
During the interview, I saw many guys walking in the corridor. They are in master and they're like the mst pompous assholes autoproclamed "artists" you'll ever see. I was relieved as he was telling me the master was not for me by thinking that I would not end up like this. I said if I couldn't get in the master I would try to do something with my screenplays and he started telling me that the style of movies I wanted to do was bad and I should make dramatic comedies and shit... Instead of an interview, it was a fucked up cinema lesson. He even compared the story of my latest screenplay to Family Man by Brett Rattner. I cried inside.
He proceeded to ask me shit like do I cook, do I practise sports, do I do this, do I do that, do I sew. I asked him if he was serious. He said yeah. I said it didn't seem very serious. Offended again. At this point, I was already thinking what the fuck I would do now.

I kept on listening to him. I listened. Listened. Listened. I was kissing the university goodbye. He said it wasn't a definitive "NO", that if there were still a few places left I'd be in but I don't really believe in it. Now that registering is over everywhere, I know one thing : I'm fucked. What do I do now that I can't pursue my studies. Worst of all that ? I'm more sad by the fact I will pay a really expensive transport card instead of the very cheap student one I had until now...

But shit : what do I do now ?

Don't worry, I'll do something. I guess I have to find some sort of internship slash job in the movies industry. I MUST start this damn webseries that is in project for almost a year. Do something with my screenplays but I think I still lack self confidence. A very good friend working in the movie industry told me he'd lookout for me and I'll do that as well.