boounz

Booyah!

Let's blog.

What am I gonna talk about? Will it be interesting? Will somebody really read it?
I'll try to talk about cool and fun things. Not being boring will be the watchword.
The other one will be being intelligible.

This is a long ass entry, I feel like the Peter Jackson of long blog entry with this

Let's talk about people at the theather.
It's something universal, everybody's been there at least once and therefore knows how it is.
I went there with a friend this afternoon to see The Happening by M. Night Shyamalan. In my case, it was to see it AGAIN. I told him I'd see it with him, but couldn't wait and saw it Wednesday, 1st thing in the morning, but I'm a nice guy so I went to see it again with him.
When he wanted me to go with him to see Casino Royale, which is the worst movie I've seen in my whole life, I think I've lost some "nice guy points" as I refused. Everytime.

That was setting, you know why I've been there today. You'll get good sleep knowing that. Trust me.

Let's go back to people at the theather. Everybody knows how people are.
They get in there, they are on the line and when it's their turn to buy their tickets, you have many cases...

You have the "If I'm an army veteran, my wife has chlamydia and my daughter has a 130 I.Q., do I have a reduction?", he often gets a "No", but he will try and try and try... For nothing. They're like reading the prices one by one, trying to find the leak in the system and profit. But they all fail. Miserably.
"And at midnight, can we have morning reduction? Technically it's the morning, it's the very morning of a new day. No? No? O.K., no then."

You have old people who don't know what to see and they ask the cashier the plot of everymovie, what is good and stuff. Sometimes they ask you, in the line what YOU are going to see, it happened twice to me, one time was legendary:
-What are you going to see?
-The Devil's Rejects.
-Is it good?
-Yes, but I don't think you'll enjoy it.
Remember I'm a nice guy, I couldn't do that and hope I would go to Heaven after that.

Sometimes it's fun, I went to see Running Scared with Paul Walker, very violent and "fuck"-driven in the dialogues and the whole movie was commented with "Ooooh...", "Aaaah...." or the funniest: "How do you want the world to be peaceful place with movies like this?".

Then on the other hand, you have the guy who has looked up on the Interweb when his movie would start, took his car, a bus, a train, his feet or whatever and somehow got there. He's been in the waiting line for like ten minutes, complaining about the annoying guy trying to get a discount, and when it's his turn to ask for his ticket, he knows what he wants to see, he knows he will see this movie in particular no matter what, sometimes he has already ordered the ticket, he asks "Is it a good movie?".
Come on.
I mean, seriously.
Have you ever seen an employee saying "No dude Superhero Movie sucks balls, go see Iron Man again." ?

You also have the gangsta who thinks downloading a movie is rocket science and very hard and underground who says "I hope it's good cause I already have this one on my computer, DVD quality and shit, man". At least he's not killing the industry but it's funny.

And you have stupid people who apparently need to show the world how stupid they are. We got these machines in big cinemas where you can order your ticket without having to have human contact with the cashier. It's very convenient when you are about to see some shameful thing like Sexy Dance 2, (Step Up: The Streets) or Norbit. Or when the title is hard to pronounce. In my theather, we got this guy who enjoys asking people who have a shitty accent to repeat over and over the title. I don't have examples right now but I've been fooled when I was younger.
But it's not about this, it's about this loser I saw a few weeks ago who tried to get tickets for him and his wife for "Indiana Jones and the Lost Screenplay". He tried many times on the machine, it's a tactile screen, you touch it to choose, nothing great. But he couldn't get the tickets he wanted.
The movie was in like 4 screens in this theather, 3 were in French version, Harrison Ford dubbed, etc... and the last one was in English with subtitles, and it was the first one that came up on the machine, and this guy thought the movie was only in English. And he proceed to show everybody how idiot he was, almost screaming, (with his wife), "It's in English, we won't understand shit, that sucks!". There are subtitles. But apparently fifty-something people can't read, it's sad, they've been reading books or at least TV Guides for a long time, but they can't read this.
"Hey, pourquoi il est que en "veauste" le film? Je veux pas le voir en "veauste" moi." is what he said to the cashier. It was hilarious. I'm sorry don't know how I can translate it, but it's very funny, it's worth taking French classes just to understand it. Trust me. (Again )

This was fun, but you don't even have your ticket! When you get actually into the theather, other epic things always happen.
Like the tallest guy ever with the biggest hair ever who will always sit just before you so you can't see shit, even if there are a lot of vacant seats.
Or two guys who let a vacant seat between them, called the "gay seat", to show everybody they ain't gay, even if nobody cares.
Or you hear this big ass group of annoying kids who will ruin the movie, you know that, they talk too much and it has not even begun, it's just the annoying Lord of the Rings soundtrack over and over before it's time for the movie to start and they're already pumped up as if they had 3 redbull just before the movie. So you know they are going to ruin the movie, you pray for them not to sit anywhere near you and you know where they sit. In your immediate perimeter. You then just have your eyes to cry. You think "Hey, I'll get another seat", but it's too late.
And you have the guy who will make everybody move because he and his girlfriend can't go to the other row, they want THIS row, so everybody just has to obey and move his ass.

Then during commercials and previews, you have the retards who laugh to the same ads they've already seen 1000 times at home, but oddly seem to never get old, especially when it's on a big screen.
And during the previews, you have the same guy who told everybody he's too smart to go to the movies as he already has the movie on his computer who ends every preview with "I already have it" or "I'll get it soon.".

Finally the movie starts!
You have people who text their friends during the whole movie, and as cellphones are like streetlights, you know how it is...
People commenting the movie can be fun sometimes. Vantage Point was pure gold just because of people bitching about it the 90 minutes it lasted.
You have the guy who sleeps and makes a lot of noise. Or the guy who thinks he can fart cause he's in the dark, he must think people won't smell anything...
Best ones are people who walk out, it's like the movie has insulted them or their beliefs, they get up, sometimes look at the whole audience and they leave. Always fun to see. Or to do. Did it a few times myself. Sometimes it's the only solution.

I think that's it. If I forgot anybody, and I sure did, or if you have things to add. Don't hesitate.

I have not really talked about myself but I guess I'll get to it one day or another

Peace!