Strange thoughts on a dark day like why did I call my dog ‘Mr. Peebles’ (his real name was Sam). I think it may have been something I read in a book. I think there was a character named Sam Peebles. How long it took to remember that is something of a surprise too and, on this day, the birthday of an ex, I remember three years ago when her and I were in Casablanca and how today she is posting on Facebook that it is ‘the best birthday ever’ and I am not quite sure why that makes me feel a little bit sad. It’s like receiving one of those ‘let’s just be friends’ messages (got that yesterday from someone I spent time with on the weekend) and trying to make sense out of a world that is just too serious about everything all the time. People who cannot spend a second alone. Meetings in which no one can joke. Bills that cannot be paid online (imagine receiving a paper bill with no online payment method in 2017). I want to tear it up and throw it away as a joke, an insult to modernism. In the morning I wake up, go to work, call the medical professional service and ask if I can pay my bill online. ‘You want to pay your bill?’ ‘Yes, please.’ ‘Oh, we only usually get calls from people who don’t want to pay their bill.’
Life goes on and love remains eternally elusive.