WTF is wrong with damn Victoria's Secret, you guys??? WHY do they call me every fucking Thursday, when thats the ONLY day I'm not available to work?! This has happened twice already. They called me @ 9am this morning, asking if I could come in for training today. I was like WTF! Not only does my availability say "everyday BUT thursday!!!" but I've already gone for training at another store! Why am I having more training? Why did I go in for training at the other store if I need training at my store? Why did they hafta call at 9?? Well I can't talk shit. Today I got to sleep in until 2. I was so excited. LOL. This guy that shot photos for me when me and my ex weren't on speaking terms...atleast not pleasant ones...wants me to be in some film. It has something to do with modelling and fetish shit, and it has documentary shit in it....sounds scary. 
I dern think I'd even wanna do it if my ex was there with me. Being naked on the internet is one thing. But being available in adult retail shops......I really don't think thats the best idea. I DO want to be famous, but not famous for that sort of thing. Thats how Jenna Jameson started out. LOL. Well...it was more like stripping, nude modelling, THEN the low budget suckass films. I'm not even trying to go that route. Anywho. I've been really depressed and anxious as of late. The other night I was thinking about how a year after I left my ex fiancee, I found out from his best friend that shortly after we broke up some girl had his baby. I'm not good at math, you guys, but I'm pregnant. I know how long it takes to have a fucking baby. So lets just say that a month after we broke up, some girl had my ex fiancee's baby. We were together a year and 2 months (Which is 14 months)...plus a month later some girl had his baby (15 months). It takes 9 months to have a baby (unless they're pre-mie). So 15-9=6. We had been together a half a year, and he was fuckin someone...and got her pregnant, no less! I always thought he was cheating on me. However, come to think about it, I found alot more reasons to think he was cheating than my husband. ANYWHO. I've just been worried that I was always thinkin my ex fiancee was cheating and he was, and I'm always scared my ex husband ish cheating....is he? I'm scared. Help. Plus his crappy band (who hates me...bitches. MEH!) is going to NY for a month after I have the baby and I dern wanna be alone and I'm scared he'll find someone new. GAHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm just so scared that he knows I'd do anything for him, and he'll take advantage of me b/c he knows I love him. I mean....I know thats a reasonable fear and anyone who's been in bad relationships before is scared to open up to new people for fear they'll get hurt again. I never, not once, had cheating issues til I was with my ex fiancee. After him, every relationship I've been in has suffered due to my paranoia. Eh, I'm rambling. I DEMAND QUESTIONS FROM YOU!!!!!! I've tried this one before. It was fun. I got a shitload of ?'s, and then I answered them all in my next journal! Its a fun game. DOOOOOO IT! 
OH! FUCK! I almost forgot! Since my Hello Kitty wishlist hated me, I created a new one! My birthday is coming up (Nov. 27th, bitches!!!!) and nail_boy is the only one who loves me enough to get me something (hopefully he's really going to and I'm not making myself look dumb, LOL)!!!! PS you guys, see those killer shoes? If you refuse to buy me anything else, get me the fucking shoes, cos I have full intentions of wearing my platform flip flops all winter until someone buys me some real shoes (cos I'm poor and its just not gonna happen). I'm not asking for a fucking gamecube or a DDR pad....SOMEONE BUY ME SHIT FROM THE WISHLIST I MADE @ 4AM!!!!!! 
I dern think I'd even wanna do it if my ex was there with me. Being naked on the internet is one thing. But being available in adult retail shops......I really don't think thats the best idea. I DO want to be famous, but not famous for that sort of thing. Thats how Jenna Jameson started out. LOL. Well...it was more like stripping, nude modelling, THEN the low budget suckass films. I'm not even trying to go that route. Anywho. I've been really depressed and anxious as of late. The other night I was thinking about how a year after I left my ex fiancee, I found out from his best friend that shortly after we broke up some girl had his baby. I'm not good at math, you guys, but I'm pregnant. I know how long it takes to have a fucking baby. So lets just say that a month after we broke up, some girl had my ex fiancee's baby. We were together a year and 2 months (Which is 14 months)...plus a month later some girl had his baby (15 months). It takes 9 months to have a baby (unless they're pre-mie). So 15-9=6. We had been together a half a year, and he was fuckin someone...and got her pregnant, no less! I always thought he was cheating on me. However, come to think about it, I found alot more reasons to think he was cheating than my husband. ANYWHO. I've just been worried that I was always thinkin my ex fiancee was cheating and he was, and I'm always scared my ex husband ish cheating....is he? I'm scared. Help. Plus his crappy band (who hates me...bitches. MEH!) is going to NY for a month after I have the baby and I dern wanna be alone and I'm scared he'll find someone new. GAHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm just so scared that he knows I'd do anything for him, and he'll take advantage of me b/c he knows I love him. I mean....I know thats a reasonable fear and anyone who's been in bad relationships before is scared to open up to new people for fear they'll get hurt again. I never, not once, had cheating issues til I was with my ex fiancee. After him, every relationship I've been in has suffered due to my paranoia. Eh, I'm rambling. I DEMAND QUESTIONS FROM YOU!!!!!! I've tried this one before. It was fun. I got a shitload of ?'s, and then I answered them all in my next journal! Its a fun game. DOOOOOO IT! OH! FUCK! I almost forgot! Since my Hello Kitty wishlist hated me, I created a new one! My birthday is coming up (Nov. 27th, bitches!!!!) and nail_boy is the only one who loves me enough to get me something (hopefully he's really going to and I'm not making myself look dumb, LOL)!!!! PS you guys, see those killer shoes? If you refuse to buy me anything else, get me the fucking shoes, cos I have full intentions of wearing my platform flip flops all winter until someone buys me some real shoes (cos I'm poor and its just not gonna happen). I'm not asking for a fucking gamecube or a DDR pad....SOMEONE BUY ME SHIT FROM THE WISHLIST I MADE @ 4AM!!!!!! VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
wait what.?didisaythatoutloud
if you could see a concert type "Fest" thing, name the 7 bands you would want to play in it.
in my experience, sorry to put a damper on your already pretty honest realizations, guys tend to cheat. every guy i've EVER been with has cheated on me. but i have also learned that you will put up with what you will put up with. if you find out and you don't leave him, he will continue to cheat. if you don't find out ... then you find out later. or you never know. i always say i want to know, but then when i find out i wish i never did. of course there are exceptions to every rule. i've heard rumors that there are guys that don't cheat. i think they are all hiding on some island somewhere. they are a hot comodity. like ugg boots. flying off the shelves.