So hopefully being offline wont happen as often....Thankyou Argentum for my gift account. Like i said, words cannot express my thanks right about now. I wish i could repay all the kind things my wonderful friends are doing for me....but i dont know how to. But one day, i will.
My worlds not so fabulous tonight. My mind is so weak and all my insecurities are on show for every motherfucker to see. Its like wearing my heart on my sleeve. There so strong that i can give them all personalities and names.
I have so many shitty things around me that it feels like im swimming through mud again. Mutual friends of mine and The Ex have fobbed me off and chosen him over me, he compleatly ignored me at the Big Day Out on friday but said hello to the two people standing next to me (i will do a positive post about how awesome the BDO was...gimmie a few days). I'm sick of having such a low opinion of myself and wishing i could have everyones good qualities but not able to look at my own and the only thigs that are clear are my lesser qualities, sick of feeling lonely and wishing that i could just be content with what i have. I could go on...theres hundreds of more things that are gnawing away at my mind.
I live in the shadow of my best mate too...always in awe of her and how comfertable and open she is with herself. I really do look up to her and wish i had even a little of what she has. I feel like the psycho insecure best friend next to her. Pretty close to the mark though...who am i kiddin.
Its just a vicious, vicious circle.
My worlds not so fabulous tonight. My mind is so weak and all my insecurities are on show for every motherfucker to see. Its like wearing my heart on my sleeve. There so strong that i can give them all personalities and names.
I have so many shitty things around me that it feels like im swimming through mud again. Mutual friends of mine and The Ex have fobbed me off and chosen him over me, he compleatly ignored me at the Big Day Out on friday but said hello to the two people standing next to me (i will do a positive post about how awesome the BDO was...gimmie a few days). I'm sick of having such a low opinion of myself and wishing i could have everyones good qualities but not able to look at my own and the only thigs that are clear are my lesser qualities, sick of feeling lonely and wishing that i could just be content with what i have. I could go on...theres hundreds of more things that are gnawing away at my mind.
I live in the shadow of my best mate too...always in awe of her and how comfertable and open she is with herself. I really do look up to her and wish i had even a little of what she has. I feel like the psycho insecure best friend next to her. Pretty close to the mark though...who am i kiddin.
Its just a vicious, vicious circle.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
can u introduce me to some other Adelaide SG'ers?
Pwease
Hey, it was me...I wasn't sure if I should say "hi"...it kind of looked like you were in the middle of an intense discussion? My humblest apologies if it felt rude. The tall, handsome blonde by my side was my son
Going by your post it does sound like you are in the middle of a few things. For what its worth, from what I've seen, I think you're pretty darn good
I have often felt like that around my friends. Sometimes I constantly compare myself to the people around me and always find myself coming up short. I really have to battle feeling ugly and stupid and I get paranoid that if I don't always try to alter myself, people will see the real me and they will hate it.
What did you think of Pan's Labyrinth?
I don't think I've ever cried so much during a movie
It really was a fairytale...a story designed to soften the blow of real life for children, while at the same time showing how awful life can/will be. The ending made me think of Hans Christian Anderson's The Little Match Girl. The way she hallucinates going into a beautiful kindom and meeting her parents. It was interesting how my son and I saw it differently, he wasn't sad at the end because he's still young enough to accept a fairy tale ending. But I bawled like a baby! I think the tears started when the man with the stutter was being tortured and didn't stop until after the finish
It was horrible! But very good. 5 stars.