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I haven't been around here since 2006, I guess i'm back?! biggrin
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
ta2dmom:
Babies have to wear mittens so that they don't scratch their faces. Just thought I should let you know.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
end of random comments from random internet strangers. Ask your wife! tongue

morrigan:
Babies wear mittens cos otherwise they look like the cat attacked them...they scratch themselves bloody
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
fu:
Fuck I forgot I was gonna burn you a copy of "The Maggot" by the Melvins. Go buy it.
What is the new album you played for me called?
scheisskopf:
sweet.
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
fu:
hello brother
fu:
Fuck I'd love to come back up man. My time there was too short and it was much too long ago. Maybe I could do a nice winter ride ... could be fun. You guys still in the same place? How's business?
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skull
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
luke2917:
Cool, Colorado my old stomping grounds.
pissed:
You look like my Man-at-Arms He-man action figure!! I'm glad you're takin time away from the biz to re-lax. xo
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
lottie:
I love you. You should update.
You are very cute right now, cuz you are curled up on the sofa, doing bills. kiss love kiss
gregweed:
It was fun hanging out with you folks tonight. I totally wanted to go to that subhumans show, but completely forgot about it. I got to see them last year in Cleveland though, so that kinda makes up for it.
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VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
ryan:
we need one of those
ryan:
also how are you? miss you guys.
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Hells Belles tonight!
lottie:
Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts.

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

6. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

7. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

8. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

9. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

10. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

11. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No fat Chicks.

12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

14. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

15. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

16. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

17. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

18. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

19. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

20. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

21. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

22. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

23. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

25. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

26. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

27. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

28. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

30. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face
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Sorry I haven't been around much, i've been really busy, with starting my own concrete company. I hope to get back to all the sex, drugs, and rock n' roll soon, both on sg and in life away from here. Long days, stress, and responsiblity have made me pretty tired, I have been falling asleep at about 8-10 every night, i'm starting...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
papawheelie:
I guess so, I was hoping to deal with it soon but if thats what you need and you do want it then thats cool I'll do whatever. Maybe you can come down for the show in March? this year it's 3 times the size of last years. it's a circus in hell theme - be'elzapalooza. should be a riot
papawheelie:
new business? do tell, i've been under a rock for 3 months while my GF and i broke up so i have no idea whats going on
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I got nothing tongue
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
pissed:
that's not what Lottie says biggrin I miss you man-call me sometime when you're not passed out! xo
papawheelie:
i need to get back on top of selling this bike, especially now that it's running really well. call me yo
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I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go tongue