bonezman

If I had to define this month in two words it would be "Hope and Frustration!"

There's a long list for both. Some things even find themselves on both lists. Work, sleeplessness, and the BMW for example. All three are cause for concern, but also sources of hope since they have solutions that seem near at hand. Sleep is something I once needed very little of. 4-6 hours would refresh me daily with an occasional full 8-12 hour night to catch up. My energy levels stayed high and stress levels low. Although I am missing a lot of sleep lately I am not feeling run down at all. A sign that I am returning to my emotional normal.

I have a bottle of a potentially lethal green liquid that I may be opening soon in celebration of a new job. I promised myself that I wouldn't open the Absinthe until I had a real job to celebrate. I have three contracts I am waiting on interviews for in a month that is traditionally completely dead for IT hiring. I even got a cold call for something in Chicago today. If this keeps up I may actually be able to choose where I work instead of taking the first solid offer. Don't ask how I got it, but it is the real thing. You will see green fairies after a few shots. Body parts will go numb. Who's interested in celebrating once that elusive job finally shows it's face???

I feel energized. Things are still falling apart around me, but I feel like I am near a solution. A return to the chaos that I thrive in instead of the own I writhe in. I sure hope so!