I about cried in my lesson with Zaidan today.
Decided would just become a nomad for the rest of my life, because I can never stay in one place for more than 4 -5 years.
I keep thinking about graduate school.... am I even going to get in? Be charming. Be yourself. But be something that they will like. Fuck.
Don't try to tell me that it isn't a little tempting to go to a new place with no one around from your past life and just reinvent yourself. Bring out another aspect of your personality. Just become someone completely different... but still you. That's what I did when I came to Northern. 4 years ago. Time to start the cycle again.
It pisses me off; why do I make things (like my *life*) just to burn them?
And I mean that in more than a metaphoric sense, sometimes I get the temptation to rip up the papers, the music, the "Congrats on keepin' the ol GPA up. Yer on the Deans list" letters and light them all on fire. Or eat them. Before I light them on fire, of course... because really, what does it matter. If the world suddenly turned on its side, would I be able to sell my GPA for food or shelter. SHIT! I might as well burn it! At least I can use the ashes to make paint or something. To paint on my little cardboard box "Things used to matter."
Ugh. I hope this is natural.
"When you become an idealist, you become very stupid." Truer words have ne'r been spoken.
"Well, at least I'm cognitive," I say to myself. "At least I think." But really, who cares other than myself? Can I pay for anything with cognition? It would be more useful to educate myself onto how to turn a good trick.
Decided would just become a nomad for the rest of my life, because I can never stay in one place for more than 4 -5 years.
I keep thinking about graduate school.... am I even going to get in? Be charming. Be yourself. But be something that they will like. Fuck.
Don't try to tell me that it isn't a little tempting to go to a new place with no one around from your past life and just reinvent yourself. Bring out another aspect of your personality. Just become someone completely different... but still you. That's what I did when I came to Northern. 4 years ago. Time to start the cycle again.
It pisses me off; why do I make things (like my *life*) just to burn them?
And I mean that in more than a metaphoric sense, sometimes I get the temptation to rip up the papers, the music, the "Congrats on keepin' the ol GPA up. Yer on the Deans list" letters and light them all on fire. Or eat them. Before I light them on fire, of course... because really, what does it matter. If the world suddenly turned on its side, would I be able to sell my GPA for food or shelter. SHIT! I might as well burn it! At least I can use the ashes to make paint or something. To paint on my little cardboard box "Things used to matter."
Ugh. I hope this is natural.
"When you become an idealist, you become very stupid." Truer words have ne'r been spoken.
"Well, at least I'm cognitive," I say to myself. "At least I think." But really, who cares other than myself? Can I pay for anything with cognition? It would be more useful to educate myself onto how to turn a good trick.
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Me on the otherhand, I'm saving up for a tombstone inscribed with the words "So what?"