bobdylan5

I will be away this weekend, to visit the Internet girlfriend! Wish me luck. Hope everyone has a festive whatever!

And now, on with the book:

All right. And then, did you leave your apartment?
I did. When I stepped outside, there was a flyer outside the door.
A flyer? And was thatsomething out of the ordinary?
No, the management is always putting some kind of flyer in front of our doors.
So then
Wait. What the flyer said was unusual. I had never read anything like it before.
And that was?
It said thatI think it read that at two this afternoon, you, the Honorable Bede, were going to recite somethingwhat was it? The History of the Quantum Warssomething like that.
The Honorable Bede stopped walking and writing and stared at Lee.
Do you live in the Marple Towers at 1212 Sycamore Street, Temple Hills, Maryland, United States of Americaplanet earth? he asked.
Why yes. Thats exactly where I live, Lee said, relieved that his address at least had not been altered overnight.
The Honorable Bede resumed walking.
Well, once again there is nothing unusual in that. I am scheduled to read at the Marple Towers at two this afternoon. That is true.
Yes but Lee said weakly. I had neverI mean
Im sorry, young man, the Honorable Bede said. But I am afraid that you are going to have to relate the rest of your tale at some later date. We have arrived at our destination.
The three of them were at the outskirts of the park. There in front of them was a small round building.
Ah, nuts Mrs. Robinson said, disdainfully.
Yes, Im afraid so, the Honorable Bede replied dolefully. Duty calls.
Lee didnt know why this building provoked such an emotional response from the Honorable Bede and Mrs. Robinson. As far as he could tell it was a rather unassuming structure, made entirely out of stone. There was a wide entrance with several revolving glass doors. To the right of that there was a booth of some kind, a booth with a window of yellow bars. Lee assumed it was a ticket booth and that the round building was a theatre or auditorium.
Yes indeedy doth, the Honorable Bede said. Its a theatrethe Edge of the Park Winter Theatre.
Summer home to the Whispering Actors Reparatory Theatre, Mrs. Robinson muttered, sullenly.
The Whispering Actors Reparatory Theatre? Where had Lee heard of that before? Oh yes, back on earth, in the train station of course. Mrs. Robinson had produced two tickets for the Whispering Actors when they were trying to make their way through the stations turnstiles, and told Lee that the turnstiles would never accept them. Was it true that the Whispering Actors whispered
Every single word, the Honorable Bede said, in answer to his thoughts. Every soliloquy, every couplet, every line of iambic pentameter, whispered. Why, they would whisper the stage directions if given half the chance.
Could be they is whisperin the stage directions, Mrs. Robinson said. Only the audience dont know it, cause they cant hear nothing.
Good point, the Honorable Bede said, stroking his fleshy chin.
Wellwhy are we here? Lee asked. He was standing in the entranceway to the theatre now, reading a curious placard that was set up there in front of the revolving glass doors. This is what the placard said:
The Management of the Edge of the Park Winter
Theatre is pleasedwell perhaps pleased is too
strong of a wordnot revolted at least, to bring
to the citizens of the Really Incredible City a
one time performance by the Whispering Actors
Reparatory Theatre of Coriolanusor perhaps its
A Winters Taleor maybe its Cymbelinewe dont
really know because there happens to be WAY TOO
MUCH WHISPERING GOING ONAnyway its a lesser
Work by Bill Shakespearenothing major like
Hamlet or Othello, or even Julius Caesar for that
matter. No if one of those plays was being
performed here, we might take offense with all
the blasted whisperingBut it isnt one of
thoseAt least were pretty sure it isnt

What a strange poster, Lee said.
Caveat emptor, the Honorable Bede replied. Anyway, in answer to your previous question, which I am assuming was not the metaphysical Why are we here? i.e. What is the meaning of existence? which I cant answer at this current juncture but do hope to have well-formulated by ummm the Tuesday after next, but a why are we here? in terms of standing outside this particular theatre, well if that is the question, the answer is that I promised I would come and review this particular performance of this particular play. I am pressed by the Whispering Actors Reparatory Theatre to review all their performances of ShakespeareGod knows why as my review always comes out in the Really Incredible City Magazine as the exact same ten word blurb
And what is that? Lee asked.
For Gods sake, I wish they would just speak up, he replied. WellI suppose we should go in. They always keep three or four seats reserved for me because I usually cant take these performances alone. It doesnt matter really. No one in the Really Incredible City comes to see these plays anyway.
Lee and Mrs. Robinson followed the Honorable Bede up to the box office of the Winter Theatre.
Yesmay I Suddenly, a silver-gray woman with long flowing blonde hair appeared in the window. Oh, its you, Mr. Bede. Back for more torture? she asked.
Im afraid so, Dee Dee, the Honorable Bede said. And I have brought friends. He waved a hand at Lee and Mrs. Robinson.
Okey dokey, the silver-gray woman named Dee-Dee said, sliding three white tickets through a rectangular space at the bottom of the gold bars. They are doing Coriolanus, I hearor a Winters Taleor maybe its Cymbelineone of those problem plays maybe made more problematic by a whole lot of whisperin. Oh, Mr. Bede, Im afraid I am going to have to ask you to check your pigeons at the door before you enter the theatre.
The Honorable Bede looked over at Bertie and Gerdie, still perched on one shoulder. Oh my goodness, I had totally forgotten, he exclaimed. He started to make cooing noises at the two superluminary pigeons, and the birds cooed back. Lee wouldnt have been surprised to discover that the Honorable Bede was actually talking to the birds.
Well of course Im talking to them, the Honorable Bede said, glancing back at Lee. Dont you talk to your pigeons? Before Lee could answer that he didnt have pigeons, let alone superluminary pigeons, the scholar grabbed the tickets and walked over to Mrs. Robinson. Mrs. Robinsonwould you be so kind he said, indicating the birds.
Mrs. Robinson reached under her toboggan and, once again, removed the pagoda cage. She placed it on the asphalt of the walkway and opened the door of the cage. One by one, the Honorable Bede removed the pigeons from his shoulder, carefully placing them on the perch in the center. The pigeons continued to coo happily.
Yeah, they is doubly blessed, Mrs. Robinson said. Theys together again and they dont have to listen to all that dang whisperin Once Bertie and Gerdie were situated in the pagoda, she stuffed it up under her cap. Smug as a slug in a fug, she added.
Welll, all right then, the Honorable Bede said. Shall we? He pointed at the revolving doors to the theatre.
I guess, Mrs. Robinson muttered.
Its good exercise for the ears at least, the Honorable Bede said, smiling. Oh, here He reached into the folds of his cassock and brought out a couple of large pills. Does anyone need any motion-sickness pills?
Lee wondered why anyone would need motion-sickness pills for a play.
Oh, not for the play, you silly boy, the Honorable Bede said, waving one of the large pink pills in front of Lees face. For the revolving doors. They do tend to go round and around and around The Honorable Bede made an awkward spinning motion with his head. Here Mrs. Robinson, dear, I know you are going to need one. He handed one of the pills to Mrs. Robinson and she swallowed it quickly and effortlessly. Lee wondered how she managed such a feat without a glass of water.
Do you want one? the Honorable Bede asked Lee.
No, I think I will be fine, Lee said. Ive been through revolving doors before without ill effects.
All right, suit yourself, the Honorable Bede said, swallowing one of the pills himself. Well, if everyones ready, I suppose we ought to be up and doing. He clapped his hands together and pushed his way through the revolving glass doors. Immediately the doors began to spin wildly like an electric fan. Lee could no longer see the Honorable Bede at all.
Do you want to go next, boy? Mrs. Robinson asked.
Mrs. Robinson, Lee said, how can we possibly go through there? Well be cut to pieces. Lee actually felt a twinge of panic in his stomach.
Could be, Mrs. Robinson noted, philosophically.
Course that would suit me fine. Its a better fate than being whispered at. Just follow me, youll do all right. With that she took a deep breath and counted to three, going One M-I-s-s-I-s-s-i-p-p-itwo M-I-s-s-I-s-s-i-p-p-ithree M-I-s-s-I-s-s-i-p-p-I, laboriously spelling out each Mississippi as she did so. She then flung herself through the still revolving glass doors and, like the Honorable Bede, disappeared from view.
Lee stood there forlornly, looking at the doors, hoping that they would slow down at least. He stood there for at least 350 Mississippis, but they didnt even give an indication that they were starting to slow down.