Alright, let’s get it on.
Wind those clocks back to July of 2011.
This month started a little slow, but it turned out to be a really good one.
First to bring the heat was @judde in Studs .
This little lady was a powdered-princess.
Tits and ass to entice even the coldest of hearts.
Right after her was @eres in her only Hopeful set The Painter .
This one gets messy.
Like a food fight at Matisse’s house.
I love it!
Then there were a lot of bad sets.
Boring sets.
People who had no business being models.
All sorts of mediocrity.
Fortunately, the day was saved by @xenah in her only SG set A Days Work [sic].
Hey!
What’s an apostrophe between friends, right?
Don’t judge her on her punctuation.
This set is sexy and inviting.
And how ‘bout that leg ink??
HAWT!
Right after her was @blueringed in her lone Hopeful set Old School .
This lady had beautiful rosy cheeks…and some nice, plump little breasts.
Too bad she didn’t stick around!
But finally we come to a PERFECT set.
It’s @figueroa in her final (?) Hopeful set The Boss .
I would tip this one if I could.
But I can’t.
Because she never, somehow, “made the cut”.
To my eyes, this bitch is a goddam DREAM!!!
I would wife the shit outta her!
Surusly…
Things kept rolling along nicely with @casanova in Pale Ale .
This gal is an absolute VIXEN.
And check out that one-handed ass grab 12 from the end.
Hell yeah!
This set is so quality (thanks in no small part to the superb photography of @alissa ).
Go tip Casanova.
Support these gals who built this muthafuckin’ site, nah sayin’?
Also good was @kandik with Confectionately, Me .
Nice Joycean neologism.
Good punctuation work.
All the things which every Joe Schmoe on this site doubtless looks for in a good set.
But wait, she’s not just a clever titleist.
Thing I love here is the color.
The socks. The lollipop.
And that genius, ball-tripping ballet tutu.
Great work!
Go tip this Hopeful.
It’s only been 13 years.
Help her out while she’s waiting to go Pink.
But don’t forget the perfumed garden of @eden in Yesterday Tea .
Talk about a TIGHT fucking ass!
Jesus.
This gal was FIT.
And such beautiful breasts.
Go tip her.
Ok, now for some español with @losmuertos .
This Hopeful did a really nice job in her only set Morbid .
This set B R E A T H E S…
It doesn’t overwhelm the eyes with a bunch of tits and ass crammed into every convoluted frame.
The feng shui here is KICKIN!
Ichiban.
Alright, no more fuckin’ around.
Time for some perfection.
It’s @treja in 9 Lives .
She is following no one.
And no one is following her.
Which means she took GREAT PAINS to “disappear”.
BUT SHE CAN’T HIDE FROM ME.
Because she’s awesome.
This PERFECT set got a mere 300 or so likes.
At which point she gave up and was never heard from again.
As I said earlier, I would tip the shit outta this set.
But, as earlier, this model was not (for some reason) “taken into the fold”.
I mean…GOD DAMN.
Bitch looks like the captain of the Swedish bikini team!!!
Fucking hell…
Alright, alright.
But we got MORE perfection.
It’s @alyeska in her final (?) Hopeful set Everlasting Light .
This one really perplexes me.
It got 1700 (!) likes [a fuck-ton for a Hopeful in 2011].
And it was shot by camera wizard @alissa .
The members loved it.
Why, in God’s name, did this babe remain purple instead of ascending to Pinkhood?!?
I mean…those some jugs over which to lose YO MIND!!!
GOT damn.
Aight.
Doing some nice work was @marlene in her debut Comme ci comme ca .
Again, don’t be a prick about typography and punctumalation.
Just look at the fucking photos.
What an absolutely BEAUTIFUL photo set!
Go tip this princess right damn now.
Alright.
We ain’t had any great sets yet, so thanks to @bully for clocking in with Patterns .
What a glorious pair of breasts!!
Good stuff could also be had thanks to @nolita in Debut .
This was indeed her Hopeful debut.
And this marks the approximate time when Hopeful seem to have gotten emancipated regarding tips.
That’s right, you can go tip Nolita right damn now.
And here’s why: because she’s an absolutely-scrumptious little milk-pale dumpling!
What a cutie.
I love the occasional freckle here and there.
Vehwee nahs!
But we need more great.
And for that we look to @damsel (as photographed by @alissa ) in Le Chat noir .
This one owes much of its greatness to the inimitable Alissa.
Great framing.
Great, muted, dramatic, sexy lighting.
And then you got a model who looks like she just stepped out of a Bogart film.
Hot cha cha!!
Alright.
But we need PEREFTION.
And for that we look to @delaney in Playing Favourites .
Written in the King’s English (where u at, dawg?), Delaney robbed me of a fiver on account of her FABULOUS knockers!!!
Bloody hell.
This set will cold-cock you.
Five dollars well-spent.
Maybe she can buy a short coffee at a London Starbucks.
But I gots many models (both old and new) to support.
So I can’t just be tippin’ evurthang, nah sayin’?
Yuh.
So’s now we has a great set by @patton .
This one was also shot by the wonderful Alissa.
Feast thine eyes ‘pon Loved By You .
Once again, it’s the photography.
The framing.
The lighting.
And it don’t hurt that this little lady had a BANGIN’ BOOTY!!
Sheeeeeet…
Not to mention, she looked like Jean Harlow or something.
Good on the photographer to focus (metaphorically [and literally]) on her greatest assets.
You got’s ta know!
Is you busty?
Put them puppies in as many frames as possible!
Make ‘em do backflips!
Is you haulin’ a big-ol’ caboose?
Get dat ass in as many snaps as possible.
Make it squirm.
Get creative.
Art thou a rose with a divine visage?
In such case, do be sure to have your fetching face in as many frames as is quite feasible.
Moving on.
No cube would truly gleam without @rubix .
For the love of God, can we please get this 13-year-old set over 1000 likes???
Please and thank you.
Mellow Yellow has plenty of legs.
A fair helping of butt.
And a smidgen of boob.
Quite a lovely concoction!
Also good was @beezle in her debut Hopeful set Bright Idea .
What a cutie!
Pretty face.
Nice hairstyle.
Tasteful bit of makeup.
I dig it.
Alright, how about a double-shot of great??
First, it’s @gallows with the Lebowski-themed
I mean…that takes EFFORT!
You can’t be the laziest model in all of Los Angeles County and pull this one off.
Unless perhaps you have the help of the hardest-working woman in show business @alissa as your photographer.
The wet look (hair) is so cool when it’s messy.
What a pretty gal.
This is, like, a private residence, man…
Ok.
So that was fun.
Imaginative!
Not every day you see a hot girl and a marmot in a bath.
Also great was @irelia in her only Hopeful set Claim Jumper .
Titties wrapped around a pole?!?
Yes, please!!
All day long.
The final week of this month was quite strong.
Sorta the opposite of its first week.
First, we got @vale in her last (?) set Softness .
Great swirl of panties pulled to the side—auburn hair like she just don’t care.
Just a gal luxuriating in her womanhood.
And getting less than 1000 likes.
No wonder she appears to have called it “splitski”!
The good flowed like honey with @eyeris in Happy New Beer .
Crack open a cold one and get a big gulp of this Hopeful.
Why?
Because DAT ASS (in the final frame).
Bam!
Keeping the good going was @discordia with Sunday Blues .
What a divine rump!
And just heavenly legs…
Go tip this princess.
Alright, let’s make Suicide Girls great again…starting with @little_raia in her Hopeful debut Blue Eyes .
That’s right, ‘ol blue eyes is back.
And she has some GARGANTUAN mammaries!!
Grade A.
More goodness flowed with @liu in That Summer Feeling .
Dig the GAUDY colors.
Totally tubular.
And what a pair of LEGS!
Also bringing it was @seduction with Mod Kink .
Nice nipple work!
Likewise good was @nekrobunny in Steal This Album!!! .
What a cutie!
Alright, now we bow in reverence to more perfection.
It’s @tovi in Gone Fishin .
Holy Mary mother of DD cups!!!
This one is an all-time great.
I would totally marry this broad.
And ‘twas @alissa once again who pulled off this absolute coup.
But Tovi is such a mystery.
She made a concerted effort to disappear.
Apparently blocked most of her followers in order to knock them off her following list.
But I still tipped her.
Fuck yeah I did!
She’s got five USD of cold, hard cash in her kitty courtesy of my monomaniacal-libido.
You’re velcome.
Alright, 6 more.
First, it’s @lemmy_ in a great set entitled Everything Louder Than Everything Else (her only Hopeful set).
This redhead had a smokin’-hot ass!!
And a pretty nice face.
Gawk the double-handed ass grab in frame 15.
Yowza.
Also GREAT was @baz in her final (?) incendiary set Let Me Bang .
I mean…this girl is an oiled-up ASS-machine!!
Jesus Christ.
She looks like the tastiest donut in the case at your local supermarket.
Glazed.
Bronzed.
Just calling to you like a bee dripping from the hive.
Hard to follow that, but @annasthesia did a nice job with Twilight Dip .
If you love delicate, pink areolas, this set is for you.
Delicious!
Ok, three more.
First is some good.
Say hello to @cheri in Pas de chat .
Beautiful brown-coral areolæ and lithe legs shot minimally and artfully by @lavonne .
Excellent work!
Alright, now for some bona-fide PERFECTION.
It’s @sweety in her last (?!? say it ain’t so) set Sweet Needle .
I definitely tipped the fuck outta this one a few days ago.
Please remember you can tip these “classic-era” models.
Sweety.
Good Lord
A motorboat waiting to happen.
Nose to breastbone.
As Joyce said.
Divine femininity!!!
Last, but certainly not least, we have @gogo in Summer Blues .
This one succeeds by virtue of some BITCHIN’ ink!
If you like knuckle tats like I do, check out naughty Gogo in this orgy of body art.
Alright, friends.
Don’t be sad.
Make sure to whack off or touch grass (whichever the case may be).
Stay sane.
Watch out for dem Jersey UFOs.
I’m putting potassium iodide in every one of your Christmas stockings.
Happy Hanukkah!
לחיים!
—Pauly Deathwish
