Get ready for what was possibly the best month in the first eight years of SG.
A website started in 2001.
The month was April 2009.
But it didn’t start out very auspiciously.
It had me worried at first.
The first real sign of life was Retreat starring @chachavavoom .
I just gotta say…the Hopefuls KILLED IT this month.
Absolutely laid waste!
And it wasn’t until about mid-month that our Pink warriors started bitch-slapping the upstarts.
Chachavavoom was a Hopeful.
She only made one set.
And it is perfect.
Great tits.
Great use of close-up.
Divine photographic contrast between nipple and areola.
Fucking amazing!!!
Next we had the legendary @mary .
She contributed to this stacked month with Waiting All Night .
It’s not her best set, but it’s still pretty fucking great.
Possibly the best jugs in SG history!!
Sailing along we came to @mollitov in Crimson Red. .
Really nice breasts!
Really nice set.
The Hopefuls were BRINGIN’ it!
The artfulness of this legendary month first cropped up with the Billie Holiday (?) homage Torch Singer .
Starring a lovely black girl named @kiari , we get both sophistication AND boobs (something even Duke Ellington could not muster).
Great set!!
The next island in the stream was another perfect set.
The boob insanity on this one is INTENSE.
Say hi to @fianna in Squeeze Box Love .
Fucking amazing rack!!!
And she was a Hopeful.
I was getting a bit resentful seeing Hopefuls (who never went Pink) making the best sets.
Little did I know what the Suicide Girls themselves had in store for us soon enough!
One interesting trend from this month is the phenomenon of Suicide Girls (seemingly) making their last sets.
A month of CHANGE.
The swan song (?) @zoey left us is formidable.
Gaze upon her in Rock Out .
Tremendous knockers!!
[don’t worry, ass men—plenty of GREAT butt sets coming shortly]
Our sloop headed on until we spotted @leuschen in Failed Beauty : ANOTHER fucking perfect HOPEFUL set!
Prepare thyself to deal with her colossal mammaries.
Not for the faint-of-heart!!!
The current took us next to @sedora in Hot Seat .
Here we would start to see what was separating the Purples from the Pinks: BUDGET.
PHOTOGRAPHIC quality.
Personally, I like amateur, “lo-fi” sets.
It’s all about the models.
But Sedora benefited greatly from having a photographer with excellent gear who could really make those pinks and greens POP like they are supposed to.
Great color palette and NICE titties!!
Ok, take a pee break if you must.
We are nowhere NEAR done gushing about this month.
The tide rolled next to the shores of @daria and her PERFECT set Black Metal .
It appears to have been her swan song, but this Suicide Girl was the first to really draw “blood” in this metaphorical death-match between the vets and the rookies.
I tipped this fine set yesterday [sic].
Let me tell you why.
Coral areolæ which would have made Modigliani weep.
That’s why.
And they are captured lovingly by the deft camera of…we don’t know who.
An anonymous auteur whose name is now lost to us.
But the ship sails on!
Our next port of call is ALSO a PERFECT set.
Say thank you to @cayleigh in Starting Clean .
You might call it trite.
I didn’t get it at first either.
A bit hokey, perhaps.
But look at those BUH-RESTS!!!
JEEzus.
Fucking hell.
Cayleigh was a Hopeful who went out with this one.
An absolute “fuck you” of excellence.
I salute you, cheesy lady with the bueno shirt puppies!!
Don’t get scurvy on me now.
Have a lime!
We sail on to @snow in Through the Pane .
It appears to have been her sayonara…in a career full of strong work.
Snow was upping the art ante with this one.
CLOSE UPS.
Dramatic.
Doesn’t matter if you’re flat as a board.
Embrace what makes YOU excellent.
Snow had a very unique, attractive face.
And she chose a great hairstyle for her frame (the Rosemary’s Baby).
It works.
Would that she’d come back and teach the kids how to make quality sets…
There was a plethora of perfection in April 2009, but we must also focus on the merely-great (before entering a lovely Valley of the Shadow of Good).
This next one is great.
Stock up, lads!
It’s @sabotaz in Deleted .
I mean…that is a STRONG rack right there!!
Now we list into waters lesser-known.
And we chance upon @zoli in Tumbler .
This set POPS!
Study it.
Props to fine photographer @fractal (possibly the lens-star of this watershed month).
We drift further afield to @archie in Ode to Cinema .
This one is glazed with Technicolor magic thanks to the lens of @cherry .
Bathed in the blue light of a TV.
An evocative, inimitable device.
Up late.
Watching the tele.
Haunting.
Spooky.
Poignant.
We sail this blue water to @kirac in The Lizard Queen .
A beautiful, honeyed effort by a fine Hopeful!
Our archipelago continues with @envied in Infusion .
More great photography in this one by @cherry and a wisely-chosen color palette: purple and yellow.
Our chain of land dotting the soup next greets us with @jonesy0315 in Ink’d .
Fine use of facial close-ups and more Mia Farrow hair.
Yum!
Next we walk the plank with @casino in A Public Wash .
This BOLD cyberpunk set is AGAIN lifted aloft by the photography of @cherry .
And dig that lascivious final frame!
Here be monsters.
Greet the lass @emilyjane and her fine set Natural Beauty .
Pretty fucking titillating!
Ok, butt men…I promised ass magic.
So now a double-shot for your viewing pleasure.
First is a mermaid by the name of @madeira in Andy Warhol .
This very-pretty Hopeful had a ginormous, plump booty which even gets a boob man like me hot and bothered.
Fucking hell!
As one ass cheek deserves another, we come to the other side of the moon: @walace in Rusty Escape .
Sorry, blokes: no trombones here.
Just a juicy bum stuck out like an erotic thumb.
Let your troubles melt away in this sea of tranquility that is her derrière.
Ok, EVEN I have to pee by this point.
These things take a lot longer to WRITE than to read, you know?
[not to mention the research!]
BRB.
Ahhh…the peace of an empty bladder. Namaste.
Now for The Suicide Girls Strike Back.
It’s all great and perfect from here on out.
With the occasional outlier.
For foot fetishists (and alliteration addicts), I give you @thora in Blue Soles .
The seaweed becomes a green light in a melange of blue hues.
And her hair is punk as fuck!
I’m not a FTSE guy, but her hooves look pretty darn delectable (I must admit).
We continue to buckle our swash with @trielu in Hairy Berry .
a GREAT set!
A quintessential Suicide Girl.
And for the bum chasers, dig that final ass-tastic rump grab!!
Indeed, the chest is full of booty (say Freud and Jung).
X marks the spot when it comes to @danielle and @maitai in SG11 .
I fucking hate multis.
But not this one.
This one rules!
Blue eye shadow à la Layla in Buffalo’66 and a goosebump-inducing close-up of hot breath on the neck.
Schwing!!
Next, we see how the mainsail sets with @apory in Soft Exposure .
If you’ve got the hots for Björk (present!), dig on this exotic lady as shot capably by @fynne .
It will melt your snow!!
[listen, the snow is falling]
Ok, too much great.
Give me PERFECT.
Ah, yes: it’s @rigel in Vs Aliens .
I tipped this set yesterday.
Color timing straight outta The Royal Tenenbaums and nipples that Modigliani would have KILLED to paint!!!
Perfect set.
Next we come upon a frigate by the name of @tina .
It was apparently her last set as a Suicide Girl, but it is notable.
The star of this set, Hang Outs , is her LIP GLOSS.
You read that right.
She knows where the focus is supposed to be.
She’s in control.
You will look where she damn-well WANTS you to look!
And the trick is to have a contrasting color for that cherry-red glisten.
The foil is a swath of yellow-green.
[no photographer listed, but they fucking killed it]
Land ho!!!
It’s @galda in her debut: Thinking of You .
A month of changes.
Swan songs and cannonballs.
I tipped this PERFECT SET yesterday.
Tits like powdered jelly donuts.
Fair skin.
A star was born.
Next we visit the Isle of @sofia and her swan song Little Shadows .
This delicious spice island curries my favor via a smashing ass and long legs in hosiery.
If you like mysterious, smoldering gals, give this one a gander!
ALL ABOARD!!!
Another fucking PERFECT set.
This time from the shores of @jacksons .
By this point i was out of money.
Couldn’t even afford to capitalize the I.
So do me a solid and go tip May the Fourth Be With You .
This princess has some bronzed globes to guide your way.
Take up thy sextant.
Here was a debut like a fucking radioactive atoll.
PERFECT!!!
Next we come to a set that is obviously an homage to Canada.
Give a maritime hello to @lainey in Hail the Leaf .
Yep, definitely about maple syrup and such.
Great set!!
Ok, how ‘bout a TRIPLE-shot of perfection?
Ready???
A. @sulia in The Attic . Please find this busty Raskolnikov and give her my digits PRONTO. Fucking hell!!! Meaty mammaries and pink peony nipples. [drool…]
B. @tamari in Otaku . Kill Bill—death by tits. The rack of doom. Radiant skin and muted-bubblegum nipples. Tarantino’s kryptonite.
C. @peggysue in Ascendance . Debut set. A star is born. Go tip this lady. I am a bit skint until the Oak Island boys send me something other than wood for C-14 dating (only dating I been doing!). Seriously, folks: tip Peggysue. She’s amazing and STILL MAKING SETS (as of last year). Let’s reward that!!!
Ok, five more.
First is @azure in Fiery Red .
This total BABE got shafted.
Less than 400 likes?!?
Maybe that’s why she hasn’t made another set these past 14 years.
Next is @tristyn with Peeping Tom .
This girl was FIT AS FUCK!!
If you like gals with a flat stomach, dig on this impressive mare.
Zero body fat.
Fucking hell…
We are almost to our destination.
But we must first pass through the strait of @sophieb and her set Cest si bon .
Gurl got an ass like a fucking beignet.
Scrumptious!!
Two more.
Get your cinematography fix with @aspen in her swan song (?) World of Fashion .
More cold lighting.
Blue color timing.
The money shot is 26 from the end.
ART!!
And finally, it’s only fitting that we end with a perfect set.
Wave goodbye to the siren @dinibieni in Music and Diamonds .
She made one Hopeful set.
This is it.
Coral-nippled blonde licking a tube microphone.
She shoulda gone Pink.
—Pauly Deathwish
