2009 started much the same way 2008 ended at SG.
To my eyes, it appears to have been a bit of a rough time for the site.
This slump started about mid-2008.
However, we are gonna focus on the good stuff.
First off was a perfect set by @izmerelda entitled Cottonwood .
This was her debut set.
And it is the only set she ever made for SG.
But she has not cut her ties with the website, so if you dig it, you can tip her.
This set really gave me high hopes for January 2009.
Frankly, this gal could cut it anywhere.
Playboy, Hollywood…you name it.
She definitely has a very “traditional” hotness about her.
But I don’t begrudge her that.
It’s awesome that Suicide Girls attracted this level of talent.
And a shame that the site (executives and members) was not able to hang on to her.
Perhaps she didn’t feel comfortable here?
Maybe she felt out of place.
Not enough ink or something.
Next we had @raynne with the nice set Film Noir .
It was her debut.
She made one more and threw in the towel.
Never went Pink.
This lovely, pale princess benefited from having a photographer (M. Larkin?) who knew how to artfully-wield light and shadow.
Frankly, the Hopefuls were bringing more to the table this month than were the Pink people.
Which is fine for members (because it evinces COMPETITION).
Competition is gonna give us higher quality (theoretically).
BETTER sets equal MORE LIKES AND TIPS (money) for whoever makes them.
So it comes as no surprise that the next notable set was also by a Hopeful—the lovely @mandito .
Feast your eyes upon her set Simply Red… .
This one is ARTFUL AS FUCK.
That’s what the eyes want (in addition to tits and ass).
This is a very pleasing set to look at due to the SMART colors chosen: red and green.
No, it’s not a Christmas set (in January).
The red is sorta orangey and the green is a bit limey.
The set is vibrant.
Red and green work well with each other (much as do pink and green [same concept]).
I’m no artist.
I’m no color theorist.
I’ve only dabbled.
But if memory serves, these two colors can be found in interesting relation to one another on a color wheel.
I cannot stress this enough.
Models: go to an art supply (or craft) store. Go to the painting section. Buy a color wheel. Know it. Love it. Find your skin tone on the color wheel. With this indispensable instrument, PLAN your next set.
You are not just wielding tits and ass, you are wielding PSYCHOLOGY.
There is a war going on here.
A Hopeful wants to eat your lunch.
A Suicide Girl wants to demolish your half-assed set.
Don’t let them.
Fight back!
Spend a couple bucks on a color wheel.
SEDUCE the money out of viewers pockets.
Don’t think you are so hot that you don’t need to use your brain.
Every model here is hot.
Hot ain’t enough.
Hot ain’t gonna cut it.
Know and love the ART of pin-up photography.
Study the history.
And blaze new trails.
Don’t be derivative. Don’t copy.
Judiciously BORROW from here and there.
No place better to borrow from than THE LONG FORGOTTEN PAST.
Be unique.
[moving on]
Let me tell you about a delicate young Suicide Girl who WAS pulling her weight (while getting no encouragement for it).
Her name is @elu .
She nailed it.
An artful set.
Please check out Razz My Berries .
This set is flawless.
And it got 200 [sic] likes.
Perhaps that’s why she hasn’t made another set in the past 14 years.
How bad do you want it???
This gal gave it two stabs and had had enough.
It is defeating.
But only you can defeat yourself.
Will you allow yourself to be defeated???
Time for perfection.
Meet @ayne (again) in Candy Picnic .
It pisses me off to no end that this QUEEN never went Pink.
Like Christina goddamn Hendricks, she bitch-slaps the site.
Gets twice as many likes as excellent SUICIDE GIRLS like Elu.
And still, it’s not enough.
Fucking infuriating.
And you cannot tip her.
Because she never went Pink.
Ok.
The next set I tipped (literally yesterday).
It too is perfect.
And proof that there WERE (also!) Suicide Girls who were fucking killing it in January 2009.
So praise be to @bushka in The Rock .
It was her debut.
She made one more set and gave up.
[noticing any trends from this era?]
“Employee” retention was slightly abysmal around this time.
I’m not sure why.
Bushka did her part.
She was in shape.
She had perfect jugs.
And she lived up to her name with that shaggy bush.
Her experience here was (evidently) not valuable enough for her to keep her making sets.
Or maybe becoming a Suicide Girl was just a feather in her hipster cap?
Maybe this was just a springboard to a successful porn career in Hungary or something.
I have no idea.
I just know that she was hot as fuck.
And she didn’t stick around long.
If this were a party, I would think about changing the music.
Art happened occasionally…as with @xelia in La Fee verte .
Another Hopeful…who never went Pink.
Another embarrassment for the website (in that they could not keep her).
But also an embarrassment to herself…in that she made one fucking (awesome) set and ditched an amazing website.
Why is it a good set?
Because she’s beautiful.
And she used her brain.
Color.
A mystical marriage of seaweed green and Caribbean blue.
Spiced up with the piquancy of pink rouge upon the cheek—the vibrancy of sunny coral nipples.
A masterpiece.
…that got 200 likes.
I’m not gonna belabor the point.
Four more sets and I’m hitting the bottle (i don’t drink).
A. @faithful in All About It . This gal with the rich, chocolaty jugs and boomin booty stuck around three years. She was a valuable Suicide Girl. I wish she hadn’t given up on the site.
B. @fatality in Censorship . A set with a message. She used her brain. She made a smart choice by wielding the lingua franca of this American website (English). Shot by wizard @p_mod , Fatality’s sexy schnoz never looked better. A great set!!
C. If @chride never formally parted ways with SG, why am I not able to tip this Suicide Girl? Don’t Explain . Anyone would have looked great in the natural sunlight which dappled this model. Someone had a vision. And the vision was actualized. Good work!
D. perfection to give us hope for the next month…courtesy of @giulia in Vintage Light . Good GAWD!!!
E. end
—Pauly Deathwish
