I really wanted to like this month.
December 2008.
And I did.
But here’s the thing: while it has some it exceedingly-strong sets, it also has a massive amount of fluff.
There is no courteous way to put it.
But this is all subjective.
And, as always, I am going to focus on what was BAD ASS from this month 15 years ago.
Perfection landed early with @sinnah in Page Blanche .
And this ravishing model was helped along by an all-world photographic talent known as @p_mod .
The perfection of this set almost wholly rests on one photo (in my opinion): the shot 18 from the end.
What a divine beauty!!!
The barre was kept high with the intellect and ingenuity of @rigel in The Birds .
Rigel proves that studying art and cinema pays off.
This set is timeless—one of the best in SG history.
Hitchcock fans must check out Rigel as Tippi Hedren.
I cannot stress enough how brilliant a conception this was!!
Perfection soon hit again.
If you are not familiar with the jaw-dropping talents of @sash , feast your eyes upon Dust Storm .
Good gawd!!!
The pictures 7, 6, and 5 from the end are all grand slams.
Holy fuck.
…and Sash wasn’t done.
She was, in some ways, carrying the site during this time period.
We will come back to her later in this chapter, but just know that she is still active here on SG.
She is a very nice lady.
Give her a follow.
Tip her!
I have immense respect for her work.
Next we have some quality conception and execution via @catrina in 70s Porn Set .
Dig the “Vaseline on the lens” softness here.
I think Radley Metzger would have approved!
Soon perfection was back again with @mkila in Arcade Romp .
This was her last set for SG.
Note, again, that the second-half of 2008 sadly featured a lot of “last sets”.
I still haven’t been able to identify why the site lost so many quality models during this time.
Mkila had a sexy schnoz and fabulous tits!!!
Such a shame to lose her.
But at least she left us with this boner-inducing parting gift.
Ok, next to a pretty face that will be hard to forget.
Meet @aisline in Shiver .
This was, in my opinion, one of the most iconic sets of 2008.
So we are off to a good start.
Pretty fucking awesome first week of December 2008.
Hell, we weren’t even done.
Before Dec. 8 was over, @lina had dropped perfection.
And here’s where things get troubling.
She should have gone Pink.
This set, Pasta , is fucking perfect.
Good GAWD that rack!!!
And whoever photographed this (no credit listed) was a fucking WIZARD!!
BUT…
This was the only set she ever made.
So we can assume (perhaps) that she expected the world to be given to her on a silver platter (and frankly, it should have been).
And when it wasn’t, she gave up.
One and done.
Whether that was her thinking or not, I do not know.
To be fair, she should have done another set.
Indeed, she should have stuck with it.
She could have been a star here.
But that’s not what she did.
She ignored sunk costs (the expense to make one set) and cut her losses super-early.
What perplexes me is how this set has gotten less than 300 likes in 15 years.
And the criminal part is this: this gal fucking roasts most of the mundane models/sets which followed her this month.
That’s what hurts.
But, alas: the people spoke.
They thought she was worth 300 likes.
In my opinion, the people fucked up.
I would point out that the site (executives) should have MOVED HEAVEN AND EARTH to keep this girl on the roster.
Maybe they did.
We don’t know.
We just see her one flawless entry in the annals of SG history.
Moving on…
There was one more blast of perfection before the month fell off a quality cliff.
Plenty of quantity—a dearth of quality.
So thank fuck for @moxi in Bed Behavior .
Gargantuan jugs and an overload of pink like a maelstrom of bubblegum and cotton candy.
If you are diabetic, you may want to avoid the syrupy goodness of Bed Behavior.
Many men would happily die is such trappings.
And perhaps some did…on some battlefield somewhere…in a Coney Island of the mind.
…dreaming of Moxi.
That’s what pin-up photography is all about.
You pin up a photo of a gal in the barracks.
Or above your bunk.
War is hell.
But at least you got Moxi to dream about.
And when you get home (if you make it home) you’re gonna find a Moxi.
That’s what gets you through the war of loneliness.
Plenty of dudes.
Plenty of bullets whizzing over your head like angry bees.
But nothing even slightly similar to Moxi.
Well, at least Sash wasn’t slacking in December 2008.
I hate multi-girl sets.
Boring wastes of time and money.
Many of them nothing more than a bunch of bitches crammed into a photographic frame like pens and pencils in a junk drawer.
But a GOOD multi can be very powerful.
So I applaud @sash and @desdemonia for their CONVINCING set Alone Together .
Not just genuine titty-sucking, but seemingly-genuine PASSION.
It certainly appears these gals were INTO IT.
And that makes all the difference.
So many two-girl sets are boring exercises in “going through the motions”.
Not so here.
The star is undoubtedly Sash.
But she looked FUCKING FANTASTIC photographed by @zoetica .
Good shit!!
Then stuff really turned to shit.
Like some kind of seasonal affective disorder.
SAD.
Womp womp womp.
Thank fuck for @godiva in Yuletide Princess .
It’s been 15 years since the wonderful Godiva last put out an SG set.
In this, her swan song (?), she looks like a million fucking bucks!!
And I would bet that she still looks hot as a firecracker today!
So I hope she decides to grace us with another set real soon.
I’m 46.
Don’t let age stop you from blowing these youngsters out of the water.
SG has a serious MILF deficit.
This is an untapped idea.
Needs rectifying forthwith.
I am hereby formally BEGGING all the awesome models of the past to COME BACK and LET US GET EXCITED ABOUT YOU ALL OVER AGAIN.
Sure, you might fall flat on your face.
Look at me.
My 68th album came out last night.
I get about 250 listeners a month on Spotify.
That makes about me 1/4th as famous as Jandek or Wild Man Fischer.
But yet I persevere.
I ain’t giving up yet.
YouTube Music has banned all 1,076 of the songs I have released.
That’s ok.
They can suck a massive schlong.
Cause I ain’t giving up.
It’s my dream.
My main dream.
Like Alina in The Equalizer.
Change your world.
Ok, we gotta face the facts.
Brutal truth.
Brutal juice.
This is gonna be a short fucking chapter.
So on to the other good stuff that kept SG from going out of business.
Three more sets.
And they were all perfect.
See?
I CAN be positive.
If I shit on months of sets, it’s because I’m saving the effusive praise FOR WHEN I REALLY MEAN IT.
[it’s this kind of spirit that got Socrates whacked by his own government]
First we got @ayne in Train Station .
¡Dios mío!
¡Ay, caramba!
ANOTHER fucking Hopeful (who never went Pink) dropping a PERFECT set in a month mainly populated by shite.
And this gal kept punching right up through Rocky V.
[but she didn’t have the obstinate cojones to drop the pin-up version of Rocky Balboa]
The old “roll over and play dead” routine taken to Elvis/Andy Kaufman extremes.
JUST when they think you ain’t coming back.
SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Like some Jesus routine.
Rapturing the fuck out of the faithful and shit.
I closely watched this train.
And I find that Ayne was wholly deserving of going Pink.
In Czech, Slovak, or any other train station.
A redhead with tits like grenades.
A face like a fucking cherub.
And the shrapnel of those tits.
Nothing fake here.
Only the finest C4 obliterating every libido in her path.
GOD fucking damn.
A real redhead with big, natural breasts.
Sign me up.
All day, every day.
And then ANOTHER Hopeful bitchslapped the scene…ON CHRISTMAS, NO LESS!!!
Perfection on Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day 2008.
Thanks entirely to Hopefuls.
Along with little baby Jesus came @figueroa with a gift for the child king.
[little known fact…the Gospel of Thomas (gnostic as fuck) most certainly lists Crazy Gummy Apple as one of the gifts the four (sic) wise men threw down in epic fashion (along with frankincense, myrrh, and that other shit)]
Ok, you might say: “This ain’t a perfect set.”
And you might be right.
BUT, it’s a perfect model.
20 pictures from the top.
GAWD damn.
Bitch is fucking HAWT.
I’d follow a star for this gal.
I’d hitch a camel and cross a desert for this broad.
Seriously, she’s a fucking Queen.
She got shafted.
Breaks my heart/dick.
Ok, one last installment of perfection before 2008 is put out of its misery.
Just in case you thought I was rooting for those pesky, underdog Hopefuls too much, let’s remember the epic mammary sacs of @wendy in Midwest at Heart .
Like Del Griffith hawking shower curtain rings, Wendy just wanted to get home for New Year’s.
And she landed the punch here.
Wendy caused serious bodily damage to the libidos of many, both male and female, with this violent burst of sexiness.
Some boobs are nuclear.
And that’s what we have here.
Opium tits.
Honeyed.
Ready to intoxicate.
She will ruin your life.
And you will enjoy every glorious second.
—Pauly Deathwish
