After the atrocious Christmas of 2007, Suicide Girls rebounded in January of 2008.
Although the month started slow, it had plenty of good stuff (and some great stuff).
Kicking things off was @fenshwa with her boobs pushed together in The Hampton .
[always a good move for the gals with smaller tits]
A couple of days passed after that set.
I was getting worried that this month would be another clunker.
But then along came @clea with her one and only set Confetti .
But it is a GREAT set.
Those are some all-world knockers right there!!!
Things kept rollin’ with @bexi in Playful Kittens .
This angular beauty has an astonishing face to go with her stylishly-sharp hair.
A very good set with a nice bit of contrast between light and dark.
Her black hair is really the star of this shoot.
And then we get to a set I tipped last week [sic].
[please remember you can tip many of these classic sets]
Coming in for a boob-heavy landing was @ember in Flamingo Foam .
Pay particular attention to the 19th photo from the end.
Pink and blue.
“Blue”???
Yes, that lovely, delicate vein under her nipple.
There is perhaps nothing in the whole world more beautiful than this phenomenon.
Veins in breasts as miraculous details—not to be avoided, but (rather) to be accentuated.
Don’t you dare try to airbrush that shit out!
And just look at the way that tit hangs.
Same picture.
Good gawd almighty!!!
Digging deep for the dollar words was @maureen287707 in Undissembled .
I can’t lie.
I thought she made that word up.
But I was wrong.
She didn’t.
And what a succinct term it is!
My favorite things about this very genuine set are the extreme toe close-ups and her sexy schnozz.
Did I mention I like girls with big noses?
Ok, ass men: get a load of @simoneg in Classic Lover .
That shot 18 from the end is pretty fucking good!
Probably everyone knows the Elvis of SG (@mary), but I don’t think everyone understands that @missy is really the Sam Phillips who captured all these rockabilly betties with her deft camerawork.
Witness Velvet Sex .
And pay particular attention to the 15th shot from the top.
We all know Mary is the boob queen of SG.
The first star.
Probably the best tits this site has ever seen (although I liked her more when she was a pale goth girl).
First, you gotta have a great model in order to make a great shoot.
Check out how fucking IN SHAPE Mary was for this shoot.
Jesus!
Like a goddamned Greek statue (crossed with the Venus of Willendorf).
No junk in the trunk.
Just big muthafuckin’ titties on a god-like frame.
And though she is truly a goddess here (as she is always and everywhere), it is the PHOTOGRAPHY that is the real star of this shoot.
It is understated.
Professional.
But it HITS THE MARK.
And that shot is the one.
The framing is important.
It gets us up close.
Her head is not in the shot.
Just this perfect-ass torso preserved for all eternity like bugs suspended in amber.
Amber skin.
And coral nipples.
And against that honeyed skin are the white panties.
And they contribute little touches of red and navy and pink and baby blue.
That is the composition.
The shot is a composition.
Mary arches her back.
And her breasts hang like luscious fruit.
Soft and hard.
A tummy so tight you could practice your paradiddles on it.
This shot illustrates the importance of the well-chosen CLOSE-UP.
Many amateur sets make the mistake of having the model in a different ZIP code from the camera.
Ok, fine.
Full-body shot.
Yada yada.
But those shots don’t draw us in.
What makes us feel like we are there is the close-up.
Look through this set.
It is THAT SHOT which elevates the set from a standard shoot to ARTISTRY.
Funny enough, the next set here is even better (overall).
And it’s by a Hopeful who never made the grade (which is part of its charm).
We’ve seen straitjackets on SG models, but this set succeeds due to the fembot titties on @balmorhea .
Her set Mental also does a nice job of contrasting her honey-kissed skin with plenty of white fabric.
Excellent move.
I am really taken with @darian405817 in I Like Being Dirty .
Nice, full boobs and quite an attractive face.
And I always love the sets of @sash .
Check out her Olympian perfection in Spread the Love and if you like what you see, leave her a generous tip!
Ok, who’s ready to build excitement???
Then get a load of @pontiac and her wonderful pair of breasts in Quiet Night .
Alright, let’s kick it up a notch.
Time to go into the desert and find ourselves with @peyote in Extraordinary Machine .
Such perfect little titties like scoops of ice cream with dollops of rose-water whip atop each.
Great tits don’t have to be ginormous.
But ginormous tits are usually pretty fucking great.
Need more rosy nipples upon which to crucify your mind?
Dig the perfect little breasts of @daisy in Better Late Than Never .
Simply divine!
Ok, we need some spice up in here!
Get a heaping spoonful of @ashsandoval12 in Sunlit Eyes .
Wonderful smile.
Wonderful tits.
And now for some French New Wave fun-in-the-pun.
Let’s get good and rotten with the bonny lass @alphavile (get it?) in Poster Girl .
She really throws Lemmy Caution to the wind in this one!
Flaxen hair and natural sunlight???
Yes, please, Mademoiselle Debussy!
And I love that close-up of her agate-blue eyes.
Really well-done!!
But it gets better than that.
Peruse the prurient images of @ashlyrae in Neurotic .
Certainly a pair of jugs that cannot go unmentioned!
But let’s get creative because, you know, it gets boring otherwise.
Tits. Ass. Tits. Ass.
And then @vice comes along with the stylish noir of her debut set Espionage .
She is a spy in the house of love.
If you like Meg Ryan in The Doors, you’ll love this one!!
And now for a title that is begging for a George Romero-type treatment.
It’s @emma_o in the cumbersomely-titled Emma_O ~ The Hills Have Harlots .
Somebody call Tarantino.
This is high-concept stuff!
Obviously she has a sense of humor (which is awesome), but that title really hinges on the tilde (!).
We need Derrida. Stat!
This girl should have gone pink.
But she made the mistake that many of the early Hopefuls made: she hardly took her clothes off at all.
This isn’t Paris Fashion Week.
Dudes don’t join this site to see you model something that covers you up for 90% of your set.
But I can understand that shyness.
Especially if it is your first set.
Funny thing is—I see Suicide Girls who also still do this.
Like they are ashamed that they have big, glorious tits.
And they have maybe ONE full-frontal shot among 40 pointless, meandering photos.
Not really the way to get SOTD.
Or tips.
So the moral: be more like @mary .
She is a voluptuous superstar and she comes to a shoot to TAKE HER MOTHERFUCKING CLOTHES OFF and FLAUNT HER BODACIOUS ASSETS.
Mary’s sets are always worth the price of admission.
Go tip her.
She is the Babe Ruth of SG.
This is the house that she built.
Ok, enough hokey, extended metaphors.
Back to the melons!
Another gal debuting in January of 2008 was @nessy .
There’s lots to love here in Confidential (tits, ass…), but the star (for me) is that glorious Roman honker!
Now THAT’s a nose.
So sexy!!!
It was a good month for beaks.
Now for some gargantuan hooters.
Feast your eyes upon @maryellen in Classy .
Like a couple of oversized hot cross buns, Maryellen is packin’ HEAT on that there chest!
Yee-haw!!!
But we can do better than that.
Frankie Says looks like it was shot by Andy Warhol in the back room of Max’s Kansas City.
And @itsvelveteen makes a pretty-damn convincing Debbie Harry.
I really adore the artistry of this one!!
Now for a face that will haunt (?) your dreams.
Dig @moxie in Film Anyone .
The tits are great.
…but THAT FUCKING FACE!!
So pretty!!!
More!
Gimme more!!
More pretty faces!!!
Bask in the glow of the smiling @flux in Baby It’s Cold Outside .
This girl is so stunningly-beautiful that she can rock pit hair and it doesn’t even phase me.
What a face!
But we need style.
Men and women come to SG to see gals with mad coiffures.
It is on this plane that @sindri succeeds in White Static .
It is bold.
It is creative.
It works.
I love it!
Ok, now for the perfection and jaw-dropping wonderment that was missing from the previous Christmas.
First, it’s @frost in Deep Dark .
Good Lord, those jugs!
She can squeeze my head with her flesh vice any time day or night!!
Harder!!!
Ok.
Sorry, got a little excited there.
[Stay frosty, Pauly Deathwish!]
Next we got more PERFECTION courtesy of @anoushka in Shady Business .
Fifth shot from the end is particularly-special.
But both Frost and Anoushka left SG.
For both of them, these were their last sets.
For those about to strip—we salute you!
And things kept on pretty good with the sword swallowing of @dierdre in Palace of Wonders .
I’m really digging the 5th, 4th, and 3rd shots from the end.
Outstanding!
Buy me a drink and I’ll tell you about the time I went out with a sword swallower.
[I don’t drink]
One quality model that I always love is @malloreigh .
She’s such a stunning little fox in Acid Burn .
And kudos to @cherry for the superb, high-contrast photographic composition in that set!!
Hopefuls ain’t afraid to try new stuff—because they got nothin’ to lose.
And sometimes they NAIL IT!
But sometimes no one is (seemingly) paying attention.
There is a superb dynamic at work in A Night at the Club by @molniya .
Particularly the last eight shots.
She is bathed in a candied glow—like a roll of Smarties exploded all over her.
And it’s a good look!
Very fucking creative!!
Now for a set where the model absolute LAYS WASTE to the task of pin-up modeling.
Bow down to the god-like genius of @rigel in Little Boxes .
And who coaxed this arched-back masterpiece into existence??
None other than our favorite SG auteur @missy .
Missy is like The Supremes.
Missy is like Motown.
She has so many hits that YOU’RE gonna have to get naked in order for you AND her to count them on fingers and toes.
Take those damn socks off!
What an œuvre…
Simply astounding what Missy has accomplished just behind the camera (not even taking any other achievements into consideration).
Ok, once again…a spellchecker is YOUR FRIEND when submitting a set to SG.
I realize this was 2008, but dictionaries have been around a few hundred years, right??
If you’re at all unsure about the spelling of a word IN THE TITLE OF YOUR FUCKING SET, double-check that shit!
Ok, on a completely-unrelated subject, let’s check out the lovely @leopardink in her set Porcelan Doll [sic].
I mean…
…maybe it’s a Paul Celan reference?
Pourcelan, peut-être?
Alors…
D’accord.
As for the set itself, it’s pretty fucking good!
Dig the mise-en-scène near the end.
13 from the end.
It is highly-reminiscent of a certain scene in Edgar Wright’s magnum opus Last Night in Soho.
Ok, now for a set I tipped two days ago [sic].
Behold the awe-inspiring wonderment of @sweety in Fluffy .
Sweety’s marshmallow world got me all Stay Puft over here.
If this lasts longer than four hours, I’m going straight to the ER.
And hide those nurses!
Gimme some fat, ugly bastards to check my vitals.
But cirrusly…it’s like looking at clouds of flesh.
Sweety proves (to my satisfaction) that there is, indeed, a God.
[send me an angel!]
Bueno!
Mira, está @reina en El Horto de Maria .
Los colores aquí son hermosos!
…y excelente uso del pimiento rojo!!!
Another gal who went out with a dying-swan bang in January 2008 was @havok .
Check out her vibrant ink and electric-coral areolæ in Restless .
A stunning au revoir!
Perfection twice more in this month.
First, it was @derby with Divested .
I can’t lie, I had to reload to tip this set when I saw it two days ago [sic].
Modigliani would have licked a toilet bowl for the chance to have painted these breasts.
Pure divinity.
Next, the PERFECTION of @binah in Only Clubbers .
Truly a jugtastic set!!!
I find most multi-girl sets to be lazy and boring wastes of time (and, I would presume, money).
But that is not the case with the excellent Oral Fixation starring @addison and @joleigh .
This set has PASSION.
It reminds me of the multis from the first couple of years of SG.
It’s not just some mailed-in bullshit.
This is HAWT!
Ok, four more.
Need true, all-world beauty?
A face that could launch a thousand ships??
Gaze upon @nya in Mixed Feelings .
Need another girl who’s out of your league (and DEFINITELY out of mine)???
Weep at the poetic visage of @elza in Siren .
Yeah, it ain’t never gonna happen.
[Lower your standards, Pauly!]
But @sorrow can be sweet.
Drown your troubles in her vivid tour de force Such Sweet Sorrow .
The last shot it perfect.
Makes her boobs sag in the most perfect, sideways droop.
And that frown…
Adorable!
She saved the best for last.
Like a fucking Vanessa Williams song!
And we look forward to a February as good as this BURSTING-WITH-EXCELLENCE January.
So we shall bid you adieu with @naira looking adorable in a newsboy cap in Cozy .
I love the Mediterranean tan lines here.
And what a beautiful Jane Birkin-esque face!
Remember, folks: smoke ‘em of you got ‘em.
[I don’t smoke]
—Pauly Deathwish
