December 2007 was a bit of a blue Christmas at SG.
It happens.
Some months just aren’t as explosive as others.
Sometimes our respective cups overfloweth.
Other times we think, “Damn. These sets kinda suck.”
But, as always, I’m gonna try to keep it positive here—by showing you the GOOD STUFF.
The month started well enough with @toroia in The Masquers Ball .
Super-strong set.
Big titties.
Shoulda gone Pink.
Also, on that 1st of December, was an excellent set by @priscila entitled Fuck This Book .
This gal had it all.
Tits.
Ass.
Legs.
This was a stunning debut by an excellent Suicide Girl.
The next day saw a Hopeful set from @barbee coming in hot.
Ridin Dirty should have made Barbee go Pink.
But, alas, it didn’t.
She was 16 years ahead of her time.
#barbie
The day after that kept the righteous, nude goodness coming with @avialla in First Try .
Avialla was a natural redhead with big, natural breasts: my kryptonite.
But you gotta remember, this was an era where gals were submitting sets where they couldn’t figure out how to get the pictures right-side-up.
The days of MySpace clunkiness.
I wonder if she was penalized for making the judges all tilt their heads sideways for much of her set?
Shame.
There was one more set that 3rd of December that was notable: Curly by @vicodin .
Great use of a hand mirror in that one.
The photography is also quite special and unique.
There’s a sort of sculptor’s feel about this one.
As if it was shot by someone used to working in clay or marble.
And those areolas are to die for!
Then we hit a desert of shit.
The first pitstop (an oasis, really) on the shit highway came, mercifully, on December 7 from @eden in Viva la Vacation .
Small breasts with beautiful little nipples.
Eden’s debut set helped to prop up a month that was otherwise disappointing.
And then we were back on shit highway—driving in a desert of boring, uninspiring sets.
So thank fuck for @emi coming along on December 10th with Sunshine and Lollipops .
This gal has a pretty amazing rack.
Check it out!
If you’re into melons, check out the honeydew on @plus in False Nature .
It really is disappointing to see so many Hopefuls who got passed over ALL WHILE THE SITE WAS CHURNING OUT SUB-PAR MATERIAL.
Perplexing.
One Suicide Girl who was not letting the side down was @rys .
In a beautiful swan song, she graced us with The End of Empire .
Beautiful alabaster breasts just above some provocative ribs.
Good stuff!
Another classic Suicide Girl you need to check out is @dika .
And you might as well start with her excellent set Caught.
Her wine-red areolæ rock!
And be sure to check out the headlights on @aradiablu in When Darkness Falls .
It’s lonely driving that shit highway—especially if you have the night shift.
But Aradiablu made the journey bearable.
And we thank her for that.
Nobody cares about Hopefuls who didn’t go Pink, right?
WRONG.
I care.
So dig on @babymoses in Fall .
Excellent use of autumn leaves in this one.
Why study [sic] old SG sets?
Well, if I were a model, I would study THE FUCK out of them.
Need ideas for your next shoot?
Study the fucking archives.
Nothing wrong with borrowing an idea from, oh (I don’t know), 16 years ago or so…
Babymoses also had delicious, pink nipples.
Wes Anderson could have made an entire film based around this gal.
But, alas…
I hope @oubliette comes back and makes another set…because her last one, Medic Elle , was an excellent exercise in using one’s pet (a white cat) EFFECTIVELY in an SG set.
Check it out!
And don’t forget to peep the jungle boobs of @bully in Osaurus .
Nice!
Speaking of boobs, conceptual art reappeared on SG in the form of Boobieslol .
There were sets from this period that were just a single photo.
I’ve seen that.
They were not successful (in any traditional sense).
But @crim seems to have been the first to substitute nude photos of herself with a meme.
This set is also notable as being the first SG set to employ squirrels (plural).
These provocative sets ruffled a few feathers.
We can’t forget that just before this was the mother lode of unholy awe @tooty and her set which chapped the hide of and rankled many vociferous members.
Crim’s affront drew a few colorful comments, but it could not touch Tooty’s photoshopped absurdity.
Provocateurs would have to try harder.
There was pre-Tooty, and post-Tooty on SG.
Kinda like B.C. and A.D.
Need a close-up of barbed wire in front of a delicate, pink nipple?
Click here —> The Farmer’s Daughter .
Really a stroke of genius there by @eyesofatragedy .
Hard and soft.
Guns and roses.
Flesh and metal.
Silky and knife-sharp.
I always appreciate a good nipple close-up.
But this one took it to the next level.
And the boldness to put it as THE SECOND SHOT IN THE SET is impressive!
It is truly a visual haiku.
Another swan song from December 2007 was the superb Porcelain Pearls by @trixie .
If in doubt, MORE mascara rather than less.
This is SG, after all.
Goth that shit up!
And almost nothing tops RUNNING mascara.
Gimme some Tammy Faye streaks on the cheeks and I’m in heaven.
Praise Jesus!
When planning an SG set, choose a color palette.
Which colors will be on your palette?
Minimal can be very effective.
Trixie used only four: black (the absence of color), white (contains every color), pink, and red.
Soft and hard.
white and BLACK.
CoNtRaSt.
And the red is both muted, and used sparingly (primarily the lips [and maybe the nipples]).
This set is taut.
Elegant.
It conveys a message clearly.
It is a streamlined artistic production.
Congratulations to @chloe for the excellent photography which captured it.
If y’all don’t know @suzy , dig her bold, orangish nipples in Derby .
Some quite glorious shirt puppies there!
Speaking of which, bow down and worship the coral-nippled hooters on @teyla in Au Revoir .
Additionally, this set is a wonderful study in shadow and light.
I think Rembrandt would have loved it.
I hate it when gals with great, big breasts cover them up in their sets.
At least give us ONE glimpse of dem jugs!
So, thank you to @asherlanet for doing the latter in Dominate Me .
Maybe if she had embraced nudity more, she would have gone Pink.
This ain’t the ‘50s.
Ok, two more before we put this hunk of shit out of its misery.
First, a really pretty, gothy, tatted, rocker chick named @ryalyne .
Should have gone pink.
Dig Studio Time .
A disgraceful oversight by a bunch of people who were (apparently) not paying attention.
She is the quintessential Suicide Girl.
Why did she get passed over?
Her look wasn’t unique enough?
Fucking hell.
Gimme a break.
This month sucked, but she didn’t.
And she didn’t get promoted.
I’m not sure who to be mad at.
But I’m damn mad.
Ok, one more (before I accidentally crack a smile).
Thankfully, we are ending off with perfect tits.
And we’re gonna get all Dr. No and have a tarantula tip toe over her tulips.
I am speaking, of course, of @knqui in Incy Wincy Spider .
At the end of shit highway, we get to mentally-knead the dough of a powdered princess.
And with that, we resolve to plunge into 2008.
—Pauly Deathwish
