June 2007 was a bit rough.
Perhaps July 2023 is a bit rough too.
16 years ago, SG had the summertime blues.
Thankfully, the sets were much better in many ways 16 years later.
BUT, had those ladies of 2007 not kept the site going, there would be no SG today for the wonderful current models publishing their pin-up work.
Work?
Is making a pin-up set work?
It depends on your attitude.
The famous French philosopher Guy Debord is perhaps most remembered for his slogan “Ne travaillez jamais” (translation: “Never work”).
Don’t work.
Don’t MAKE it work.
If it’s work, don’t do it.
What’s the opposite of work?
To Debord and the Situationists, it was PLAY.
Play.
Make it fun.
Don’t make it work.
Debord’s exact meaning is difficult to get at without going into the Marxist-Leninist background which contextualized his most famous graffito.
Ne travaillez jamais.
Guy Debord was a revolutionary.
Perhaps his most famous phrase can only be understood in relation to his SECOND-most-well-known phrase: “Sous les pavés, la plage” (under the paving stones, the beach).
It was a call to violence.
But a very poetic, oblique one.
“Keep throwing the cobble—keep digging them out of the ground of Paris. If you dig and throw enough of them, you will find the beach—the sand—somewhere down there under the top traffic layer.
[…]
Keep digging—until your protest yields a vacation on the beach. Sipping a piña colada.”
Guy Debord never said that.
But that’s how I’d explain his “maxime numéro deux”.
Deuxième maxime.
I don’t speak French.
My apologies.
But I speak tits.
And there was a tug-of-war at SG in June 2007.
I’ve seen it before.
Summer can get slow at Suicide Girls.
People are out having fun.
Sexy ladies ain’t got time to make new sets.
Vacation.
Mercifully, SG in 2023 includes plenty of lovely ladies south of the equator.
From places such as Brazil.
Let me take this opportunity to tell you about a wonderful Brazilian lady named @vaneskka .
She has made two awesome Hopeful sets so far.
I have tipped them many times.
Including today.
Because it is good to help those in need.
And so this history takes a break to focus on the present for a moment.
But make no mistake: helping Vaneskka is not an act of pity.
Yes, to be a Suicide Girl is WORK.
To be a Hopeful is WORK.
To be a professional model is WORK.
And (as I know all too well) to be a starving artist musician is WORK.
Why would someone who is a starving artist (musician) like myself give money to other starving artists?
Is pin-up modeling art?
Yes.
When it’s done right.
Why give?
Why help?
Because it’s what cool people do.
In cool towns.
You tip a barista.
You buy local.
You buy a 45 to put on your record player.
From a local punk band.
You buy merch.
When we do not do these things, Klaus Schwab and Bill Gates commence starbucking us.
I got nothing against Starbucks.
I’ve worked there.
Twice.
Over two years in total.
But when you let the little businesses die, you are left only with big-box bullshit like Wal-Mart.
When you are poor-as-fuck (like me), you go to Wal-Mart.
But then (as Jerry Lee Lewis said) you THINK ABOUT IT.
Starbucks is boring.
Generally, the people who work there are boring.
Cities where Starbucks dominates are boring.
Wal-Marts are so boring that they seem like some sort of sick joke perpetrated by Andy Warhol.
Let me tell you about Vaneskka.
She is currently a Hopeful here at SG.
Both her sets have done well.
But let me tell you why tipping her sets IS NOT “charity”.
1. She has the best ass in SG history.
Yes.
It’s true.
Go look.
2. She is the prettiest model in SG history (a face that could launch a thousand ships).
Go look.
Vaneskka is one of only two models in SG history who got me to write songs for them.
[the other is the wonderful @sathira ]
She didn’t ask.
[they didn’t ask]
I saw Vaneskka’s beauty (in a livestream), and I was MOVED to write music for her.
Here’s what I wrote:
I wrote those three middle songs for the lovely Vaneskka—one for each of her two sets (and one to encourage her third set).
Please go look at her profile—she has the most lovely brown hair.
I am hoping her third set is going well.
I am sincerely looking forward to it.
But she is having some health troubles.
So I ask you to consider her WORK.
Who did I tip today?
Well, I tipped Vaneskka (twice).
Then I went through the past week’s worth of SG and Hopeful sets.
I tipped current Suicide Girls.
I tipped other Hopefuls (in addition to the lovely Vaneskka).
And I even tipped a set that’s 16 years old.
We’ll get to that in a minute.
But since I gave Vaneskka a shoutout, I ask that you go check out the WORK of @sathira .
I’m a breast man.
I think Sathy probably has the best breasts in SG history.
And we are lucky to have her as one of our current, active Suicide Girls.
To me she is so beautiful that I wrote her a whole album of songs:
What is it to have beauty like Vaneskka and Sathira?
What a power they have.
And they SHARE that with us here.
I can just tell you that Vaneskka is a wonderful person.
She is intelligent.
Poetic.
Kind.
And even though I don’t really know Sathira, I can tell you that she is a very SPECIAL model from Spain.
A dancer.
And truly an artist.
BOTH of these ladies are artists.
They are my favorites.
There are other models here that I adore—@zepam certainly comes to mind.
The models which make your jaw fucking drop.
And make you fall in love.
Ok.
So there you have it.
I am so excited to catch up to the recent times so I can give effusive praise to the sets of these three ladies, but I caught wind that one of my favorite models (Vaneskka) was not doing so well.
So I did what I could.
I tried.
I wish I was rich so I could actually help substantively.
But I did what I could.
You can do anything with your SG sets.
That is my message here to models.
Your only real limit is your imagination.
And SG can be as useful or as useless as you make it.
For me, I didn’t understand that Suicide Girls was a social media site.
Perhaps you disagree.
But I think it very much is.
And I really appreciate the people who have followed me back on here.
It is a microscopic minority who has followed me back.
But that’s ok.
Fuck it.
Because it’s FUN.
It’s all about attitude.
I don’t give a shit whether people follow me back or not.
It’s PLAY.
It’s not work.
So let’s get back into this history of SG and find out why June 2007 was a bit of a bummer.
First, thank GOD for the Hopefuls of June 2007.
Because they kinda kept the site going.
First, a shoutout to @velocet555505 and her very strong set The Magicians .
She’s pretty and she has great tits.
What more can you ask for?
Oh, and she has great hair.
What other Hopefuls were kicking the shit out of shit in June 2007?
Certainly @peachie576503 who was shaking the site with Groovy Baby .
How the FUCK did this wonder of nature not go pink?!?
Christ.
But let’s not forget the gals who were driving subscriptions and traffic: Thee Suicide Girls like @salliss .
This was her debut set and it was a miracle:
Black.
Pink.
Blackpink.
That clash.
That dichotomy.
Not black and white.
But black and pink.
Or, rather, black and white (and pink).
Dramatic black hair.
Milky-white skin.
And the magic of pink.
Here and there.
Giving life.
To the proceedings.
Such a wonderful set by Salliss.
Now for a gal who was a one-hit wonder.
Or a one-album phenomenon (like Sex Pistols).
One and done.
I’m talking about the awesome @heart in Octopus Girl .
It may be 106F outside here in South Texas, but I look at Heart and I’m in a marshmallow world.
And Dean Martin is singing.
And boobs.
There were other models doing great work during this time.
One was @diamante .
She did two great sets that month.
The first was No Swimming .
She leaves us guessing, hoping, waiting…
Teasing.
Until that last frame.
Stellar work.
Why does this set have so few likes?!?
She’s aMAZing!
Go check it out!!
I guess what bums me out about June 2007 at SG was LACK OF CREATIVITY.
But the gal who was CARRYING THE FUCKING SITE in this respect was @bettina .
Creativity.
But not just creativity.
The GUTS to try something different.
In the first six years of SG, I see lots of models around 2006 kinda start “mailing it in”.
Actually, it started before that.
2005.
2004.
The first years of the site you had to FIGHT tooth and nail.
Everyone wanted to tear you down.
So you had to come with a toughness.
You had to BRING YOUR BEST STUFF.
Playboy wanted to eat your lunch.
So did Penthouse and Hustler.
Early Suicide Girls put their BRAINS and hearts and souls into their sets.
Because there were no fucking “participation awards”.
Brutal truth.
A community of tatted badasses.
No one is gonna blow smoke up your ass.
Your set is either awesome, or it sucks.
But by 2007, things got a little participatory.
Some pity likes.
Etc.
Well, Bettina was (AND STILL IS) a fucking star because SHE THINKS and PLANS her sets.
Look at her œuvre.
Each set is like a heist.
A heist of your heart!
And so Bettina channeled a bit of David Bowie on this one when she said (I imagine), “Fuck it, I’m gonna do something completely different!”
AND IT WORKED!!!
Bettina is as beautiful as they come.
But here she showed why she is AN ARTIST.
Look at her sets leading up to this one.
And then think about the GUTS it took to change direction.
I fucking love it.
It is bold.
Different.
Exciting.
Dangerous.
I am speaking about her wonderful set Return to Black Pleather Lagoon .
Do you like The Cramps?
Do like like exotica?
Tiki?
I do.
And Bettina channels that Elvis Presley/Jungle Room vibe in the above set.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
And again, thank God for the Hopefuls of June 2007–like @suzie606210 .
She only made one set.
And this is it: Pink Stars .
And it’s phenomenal.
June 2007 was the month that conceptual art really arrived at SG.
Though few noticed (or seemed to appreciate it).
Gaze upon the “fuck you, look at my face” beauty of @carolanne in Yoga Ball .
I think Yoko Ono would love this set.
Because IT’S THE SAME FUCKING THING for the entirety of the set.
Not kinda.
Not sorta.
But LITERALLY.
It’s like Einstein on the Beach.
Either you’re gonna have a transcendent experience, or you’re gonna puke.
But there is no in-between.
No middle ground.
Because this set is LOUD.
And you can not easily click “back”.
It’s a statement.
Either that or she was really stoned and sent the same picture 50 times.
Entirely possible.
When in doubt, tits.
Big, luscious tits.
Which is exactly what we get from @ashlyrae in Redroom .
It was sets like this which buttressed the otherwise dismal June 2007.
But maybe your kink is too niche?
Are you ready for Thunberg’s favorite set?
Klaus Schwab called me just now (Bill Gates was also listening in) and they agreed that Sunday by @lylah has been chosen as the World Economic Forum “Great reSET of the Day”.
If you need to see a model eat grub worms or maggots or whatever, there it is.
High in protein.
Weird as fuck.
R-E-S-T-E-C-P!!!
Now for the set of this period that I tipped about an hour ago (please remember that you can [and should] tip many of these classic sets): Pretty Polkadots by @wonder .
Here is a gal looking the part of a Swiss milkmaid.
Astonishing.
Dreams do come true.
And, once again, we recognize the hard WORK and genuine artistry of @diamante in her second set of that month: Lady By the Lake .
Russ Meyer would have married this gal in a heartbeat.
And I can’t blame him.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Oxford commas.
More conceptual art.
A hearty round of applause for @shii458392 and her magnum opus Sent on CD .
Normally, you would think a set with that title might be guilty of having been “mailed-in” (both literally and figuratively).
But not here.
Dig the RESTRAINT it took her to not straiten any of the photos in this horizontally-skewed affront.
Commit to the bit (as they say).
Yes, she stayed in character.
Does one do it up against the wall with a horizontal gal?
Horizontal mambo is supposed to take some work.
But here the work is already done for you.
Congratulations.
She is horizontal in every photo.
MySpace chic.
[sheek]
Ok, one last set before we put this chapter out of its misery.
Ending on a high note is @magnolia with Water Baby .
I think Miles Davis would have liked this one.
As it is said…we have both kinds of music here: tits AND ass.
There are lean months.
But whether good or bad,
all things must pass.
And I know it ain’t gonna last.
—Pauly Deathwish
