Autumn 2006 was a very strange time for SG. The numbers (likes per set) were OFF THE CHARTS.
For awhile.
October and November saw multi-girl sets sometimes getting 23,000 (!) likes.
Most individual sets approached 10,000 likes.
Yes, you read all that correctly.
I’d say the average number of likes on a set in Oct.-Nov. 2006 was about 7,000 likes.
But then December rolled around.
And something strange happened.
The numbers dropped off a cliff.
It was as if October and November had not even happened.
Perhaps the influx of new members was fickle.
Crowds are always fickle.
And not as easy to please as one might think.
Suicide Girls is not just a matter of “give ‘em some boobs and they’ll be happy”.
Generally speaking.
[even though that describes me pretty well]
But the reality is that people come here looking for something DIFFERENT from their erotica.
The strangest part of autumn 2006 (to me) is that most of the sets seem a bit “mailed in”.
It’s the old expression.
The model didn’t bother to stop by the office (even though they were in town).
They just mailed their shoot to headquarters.
“Mailing it in” is when creative people become complacent.
They find a formula and they keep churning out THE SAME OLD SHIT.
Suffice it to say, I will not be focusing on those sets, but (rather) on the sets that WERE (and are) truly good.
However, to reiterate my point: many of these sets that were getting 10,000 likes were (at best) mediocre.
There was a sort of inflationary effect in action.
The audience was EXCITED.
And, unfortunately, they seem to have signed up for the site when no one was doing anything particularly creative or new.
But, as I said, I’m gonna show you the good stuff.
The final irony in 2006 was that THE SETS BECAME REALLY GOOD in December.
But by then, this humongous crowd seems to have gotten bored of the site and moved on.
Such a strange period in SG history.
But let’s check out some of those gals who were EXCELLING.
The first to jump out at me was @alexsandria in Green Surprise .
This set succeeds due to an absolutely undeniable pair of breasts.
Pretty inspiring!
October 2006 did bring us the first set where the model was pregnant.
Hey, at least it was something different.
In the first five years of Suicide Girls, I do not remember any model having done a shoot while preggers.
So kudos to @twwly for A Little Cockledoo .
This set got over 7000 likes.
Another set which featured something I’d never seen on SG before was November 1947 by @adrian .
I’m not sure if these were real tears, but regardless: the model appears to cry in three of the shots.
THAT is unique.
And kinda effective in a weird way.
Ok, pregnant…crying…
That’s some new ground broken.
Then there is the unholy awe of @alabama in Impatient .
This lady is a wonder of nature.
This is a perfect set.
One of the best sets in SG history.
Nothing fancy.
Just some all-world titties.
Another great set (we are already into November) is American Beauty by @pystol .
This one, too, succeeds because the model was blessed with amazing tits.
And dig those rosy nipples.
Truly divine!
And check out the lovely coral areolas on @rylee in Missing You .
Fantastic boobs.
FINALLY we come to a little bit of creativity.
As the master (mistress) of incorporating action figures in her sets, Taste of Wheaton was her best work up to this point.
We are talking about @alexis .
This set actually DESERVED its 10,000 likes.
Alexis has an amazing rack.
But she doesn’t DEPEND upon that.
She puts EFFORT into her sets.
And this one is amazing.
Check out the kung-fu grip on that action figure grabbing on to that clitoral piercing.
I mean, fuck me…
This is a GREAT set.
This gal could have been on the cover of any nudie magazine.
But she was, instead, HERE being quirky and fucking awesome.
And I love her for it!!
But, again, most of the sets in this period were more like “let me take my clothes off and go through the motions”.
You gotta be pretty fucking hot to pull that off.
Consumers (of photos) can get that anywhere—Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler…
I hate to say it, but SG was sorta losing its mojo around this time.
One model who was not being lazy and predictable was @gogo in Man Eater .
Check out Gogo riding a giant (3 feet?) inflatable penis.
Now THAT’s entertainment!
She deserved every one of her 7000+ likes on this set.
Next is @giulia and her perfect Modigliani breasts in Fortune Teller .
There’s probably a story or theme to this set, but I can’t stop staring at those superb jugs.
So there you have it.
The boobs are the stars.
They carry the set.
Fucking amazing.
What a special lady!
Speaking of which, there was ONE multi-girl set that really deserved its oodles of likes—and that was @eliska and @wendy in Bountiful Bling .
This one is every breast-man’s pipe dream.
This one is definitely worth seeing and it deserves its 10,000+ likes.
I really love @shirley in Tied Up .
Shirley has a wonderful physique and she really does some excellent poses here.
She deserved more than the 3000 likes she got on this set.
[watch the numbers plummet]
If you want to see a truly-special set, affix your eyes upon @nora in Crayons .
Great colors and mind-blowing breasts.
This set deserved more than the 4500 likes it got.
How about a hippie gal with a heavenly bosom?
Yes, please.
This gal @michaela has a body that Da Vinci would have delighted in sketching.
Check out her feminine charms in Arachnophobia .
This is a pretty god-damned amazing set.
It only got 1400 likes.
Why?
Because the site fell off some kind of cliff in December 2006.
The previous two months were a new zenith for SG in terms of member engagement.
December, then, must have seemed like a humbling nadir.
But numbers ain’t everything.
Either it’s good, timeless shit, or it ain’t.
Michaela knocked it out of the park with her set.
And so did MANY other ladies on here in Dec. 2006.
Let’s focus on them.
This next girl is just hot as fuck…so she didn’t have to do anything wild or inventive to create art.
Because SHE is art.
We are talking about @sanyu in Glitz Up .
Not all that glitters is gold.
But this shiny, bronzed honey looks like the real thing to me.
Fucking awesome.
Ok, this next gal brought the average (number of likes) UP in Dec. 2006.
I gotta tell you…this set is so good that I tipped it this very morning.
All hail @suri in Playful Pinup .
Good gawd, y’all!!!
I bow down to this set.
It is truly exceptional.
Wow wow wow wowza!!!!
And then we come to another great piece of work: @jules in Measures Up .
If you love the vintage, classiness of @bettina , then I think you will dig Jules in Measures Up.
Everything about this set is amazing.
I especially adore the glasses that Jules is sporting.
This fantastic set only got 3000 likes. It deserved so many more!!
Ok, now for something truly special.
If you wanna fall in love, open your heart to the creative genius of @sadie in Out of Step .
This set makes me wanna fall in love with this lady.
The color composition of this shoot is exquisite.
Painterly.
Engaging.
It pays to give a fuck.
Sadie shot this set herself.
Fucking amazing!!
And yet it only got 1000 likes.
The previous two months, a bunch of rubbish was getting puffed up by the fleeting throng who ransacked SG.
Aw, well.
That shit ain’t timeless.
But Sadie’s set is.
Timeless.
It lives forever.
Now for another set I tipped this very morning: Maybes by @adore .
Ok, nothing fancy here.
Just simply one of the most voluptuous princesses to ever traipse through the hallowed halls of Suicide Girls.
Remember: if you’re hot as fuck (as is Adore), show it off.
Don’t hide behind a pillow.
If you’re not hot as fuck, get lots of pillows.
And get really creative.
And by all means, don’t half-ass things.
Adore is hot as fuck.
I enjoyed this set immensely.
That’s why I tipped it.
It spoke to my libido.
Other sets speak to my inner artist.
There’s more than one way to get tips.
Always study your craft.
Always improve.
Be humble.
Adulation isn’t everything.
And as Stallone says, “keep punching”.
If you wanna go from Hopeful to Pink, keep punching.
If you wanna go from 1500 likes to SOTD or 5000 likes or 10,000 likes, keep punching.
If you wanna earn a living as a model, keep punching.
Find out what makes YOU you.
Find out what makes you special.
Who is your SG hero?
Is it @mary ?
Is it @missy ?
Is it @bettina ?
Is it @ember ?
Study these sets.
Know so much about the history of SG that you will absolutely SCORCH the competition in your next shoot.
Because, as I’ve said, you better be hot as fuck for your entire game plan to be “I’m gonna get naked and pose”.
That shit probably ain’t gonna cut it unless you packin’ natural gifts of some kind.
And what’s more, even the most well-endowed models can benefit from CREATIVITY and ARTFULNESS.
Show us something new!
We can tell when you are mailing it in.
You do six sets in a row that are basically the same thing.
BORING.
Takes some risks!!
This is Suicide Girls.
If you wanna see some real motherfuckers, check out the ladies of autumn 2001.
THAT took balls!!
Check out the ladies of 2002.
By Dec. 2006, the creativity quotient was starting to wane.
I could be wrong, but it seems like the models were not aware of what each other was doing.
Like it was too much “work” to log in and look at OTHER models’ sets.
Ok.
Diatribe pause.
Let’s get back to more important things.
Like nude breastesses.
There is one lady who was FOCUSED on delivering some art during this period, and that was @vuokko in Seeing Double .
This is some Exploding Plastic Inevitable shit here.
Some Warhol.
Some Robert Brownjohn genius at work.
And here’s the rub: in 15 years, this set STILL has not gotten 1000 likes.
THAT was what happened in Oct., Nov., and DEC. 2006.
Such a strange phenomenon.
But there were more beckoning sirens urging the next wave to sign up for this wonderful website in the new year.
How about another set that STILL hasn’t gotten 1000 likes even though it’s been out 15 years?
Check out the poetic breasts of @katrina in Lavender Night .
This set would have gotten 7000 likes had it come out the previous month.
For all of you who think I’m just a poser obsessed with mammaries, gaze upon the heartstring-tugging beauty of @tiamat in Pretty in Pearls .
Wow.
Love isn’t about boobs.
It’s about loving someone’s soul.
And it doesn’t hurt if she has great hair.
And moxie.
Tiamat’s set has gotten exactly 600 likes in 15 years.
This lady is a star.
Fuck all the losers who didn’t hit “like”.
Ok, now for ridonkulous titties.
I gotta hand it to @linz …she was really onto something (?) when she decided to pour Pepto Bismol on her knockers in Pepto .
I mean…
IT LOOKS FUCKING COOL.
As for the semiotics or semiology or semantics of this set, I have no fucking clue what it means.
Maybe you’re puking your guts out while hugging the toilet thinking, “God damn…that Linz is an angel…a bismuth subsalicylate angel. She shoorly is! Wonder if I have any of the pink stuff in the cubbard??”
Ok.
Throw on some Van Halen and get hot for @leiko in Lesson Plan .
Makes me all syllabi-curious, it does.
And, once again, it’s not all about the titties.
Do you wanna fall in love?
I sure as hell do.
You know what makes me fall in love?
DIMPLES.
[pierced dimples are a particularly-naughty mod]
But just plain-old dimples.
Because there ain’t nothing plain about dimples.
Dimples about as rare as a redhead.
[I fall for EVERY redhead]
Gaze upon the dimple divinity of @dotty in Morning After .
Dotty has style.
She has humor.
And there’s a great CLOSE-UP of one of those heavenly dimples.
There it is.
Voilà!
LOVE.
It’s as easy as that.
Falling in love is just the beginning…
Ok, one more and we’re out.
Feast your eyes upon @genica in Balloons N Bubbly .
Here’s a model to watch in 2007.
That’s right.
So long, 2006.
Glad to know you.
Till next time.
—Pauly Deathwish
